Title: Otters!
Pairing: Ten II/Rose
Rating: G
Summary: Wherein there are otters.
A/N: This is unbetaed comment fic for
carnivalofsquee, which I had to put here since it exceeded the 4300 character comment limit. The prompt was "otters, otters, otters!"
There were many things the Doctor had to get used to in living in this universe. There were the minor differences between universes, there was the abundance of Rose, and with that came the abundance of Jackie. And while Rose made great efforts to keep domesticity to a minimum (they really needed to have a talk about that), even she couldn't escape Sundays.
Sunday was family day - Tyler family day. Barring death-bed sickness or end of the world excuses (and they had to be valid since Jackie checked, much to his annoyance), most of the day was spent together.
Today they were at the zoo and the Doctor had to admit it had been a pretty good day. Rose was currently holding Tony up to see into a pen.
"Look. Sea lions!" she said to him.
"Where? I don't see lions."
Rose laughed. "Not lions, sea lions. Sea like the ocean. That's those barking things with flippers." She tickled his side and he laughed with her.
How had the Doctor never noticed that Rose and Tony had the same smile? Giant toothy grins that made him feel all happy--
SIGH
The Doctor shook his head. He could have sworn he'd heard someone sighing. They were the only people on this small stretch of path. Rose and Tony were out, Jackie was busy fiddling with her new camera, and Pete was trying to tell her how to work it. It must have been Pete sighing.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, madam, I'm not interested."
That...that was most definitely not one of the Tylers. And seemed to come from the next enclosure over. Maybe a keeper was down there feeding the animals. The Doctor walked over and peered into the pen. It was a decently-sized enclosure even though he could see all of it. Not a person to be seen, just otters. And more otters. Some were paddling around in the fake stream and others were lounging on rocks.
"Look, shove off!" One lounging otter pushed another otter's face away.
The Doctor gripped the railing. There was just no way he could understand the common Earth otter. So that had to mean... No. Yes! A race that looked like otters! He knew this race, didn't he? It was hazy, but... Think think think. Otters. Otters. Otters. The Holps! Now if he could just remember the language.
"Hello!" the Doctor called out in a squeak. "Would you like a taco?" He pulled at his ear, thinking that didn't sound quite right.
The otter blinked and quickly sat up. "Did you just say something?"
"I'm the Doctor. Sorry about the taco thing. Took a moment to switch gears. So what's a Holp like you doing in a zoo like this?"
"Doctor," Tony's voice accompanied a pull on his trouser leg. "Why are you squeaking at the otters?"
Rose chuckled and then grinned at him. "Brace yourself, Tony. Whatever it is, it's gonna be good."
"Ooh, just having a chat with a fellow alien life form in disguise."
Rose's eyes grew wide. "Seriously? Where?" She rushed up to the railing next to the Doctor, following his pointing finger.
"Your mother ever teach you it's rude to point?" asked the otter. "You know, forget I said that. If you could spring me, you could put your finger up my nose for all I care."
"No ta. The finger thing, I mean. So you're trapped? Did you crash here or something and get mistaken for one of the wildlife?
"Yes and no. I didn't crash." the otter squeaked back. "I'm here on an eco holiday. Get back to nature and all that. Earth's brilliant for that sort of thing since the otters here never advanced. It's easy to slip in. And I've gotta say, floating in kelp for a week beats worrying over your stock portfolio. But I didn't bargain on this. So, help a guy out?"
The Doctor looked at Rose who still had wide eyes. He grinned at her as he fished for his sonic screwdriver.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
He wiggled his eyebrows and pointed the screwdriver at the CCTV, which snapped and popped.
She smirked. "Maybe young impressionable eyes shouldn't be seeing this?" She glanced down at Tony who was standing on his toes to see over the railing.
"What's more wholesome than staging a rescue?" And with that, he hopped over the railing in one swift motion, landing in the otter pen, splashing in a puddle. A shriek from Jackie told him she'd witnessed his acrobatics.
"GET OUT OF THERE, YOU IDIOT!" Jackie yelled.
"So much for the covert Tyler backup team." He looked up at her. "This is why you never got a ride in the TARDIS, you know. Well, except for when you stowed away. Not my fault, that."
She glared at him, but he turned to the otter. "By the way, I never caught your name. Oh, hmmm. I think I'm going to have to carry you."
The otter jumped into the Doctor's arms. "Paul."
"Paul?"
"Good name for an otter?"
The Doctor chuckled and then raised Paul up to Rose, who scrambled up her arm.
"Look here, shift," Jackie hissed, still glaring and clutching Tony's hand. "People are coming."
"Here, grab on." Pete positioned himself over the railing, holding a hand down to the Doctor.
"See, Jackie? Being on the lookout is good teamwork," the Doctor said as Pete hauled him up. "Maybe once the TARDIS is finished I'll take you out after all."
"Not a chance, you daft half-alien--" Jackie glanced down at Tony. "--person."
Rose, shielding Paul from the view of the approaching people, was suppressing a smile. "So, what now? Stuff it down someone's shirt?"
"Close." The Doctor opened his jacket and spoke to Paul. "Right. In the pocket you go. It'll be tight at the opening, but trust me, you'll fit."
Paul blinked. Your...pocket? How exactly--"
The people were getting closer. "No time! In in in!" Rose responded to the English and began shoving Paul into his pocket.
As Paul's back legs disappeared into the jacket, he exclaimed, "Oh hey! This is...how does this work? There's plenty of room in-- ARG!!!"
"Shhhhh! What?"
"There's something sticky down here!"
"Ooh, right. Sorry about that. Half an ice cream bar I was saving for later. Isolated cold suspension and all that. You can have it if you want."
"Hmm. Better than fish, I guess."
The Doctor looked around at the varying expressions of the Tyler clan. Pete was shaking his head as if he couldn't quite decide if what just happened actually happened; Jackie was nervously glancing at the people now at the otter pen; Tony was poking at the outside of the Doctor's coat and frowning; and Rose looked amused as hell.
Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him into walking. "Right. I think our zoo day is over. Come on. This way to the exit." She started giggling.
"Honestly!" Jackie said from behind them. "Nothing to laugh about!"
Rose looked over her shoulder and then smirked at the Doctor. He shared her smirk.
"You've got an otter in your coat, and you know what the dumb part about it is?" Rose asked as they continued to walk briskly.
"What's that?"
"All I can think about is that stupid saying." She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Is that an otter in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
They both laughed and the Doctor leaned over to kiss her.
*THWAP*
"OW!" The Doctor rubbed his head where Jackie's hand had made contact.
"I am never taking you out in public again," Jackie declared.
The Doctor grinned. "Best day ever," he said, and kissed Rose anyway.