Open Letter
I don't get you.
You accept me to only push me away. You talk to me only to listen to to yourself talk. It would have been better for you to talk to a wall. But after knowingly being used and manipulated, I played along. I thought that maybe there was a deeper meaning to what you're doing. I thought that maybe you wanted to show me something, but didn't know how. But given your history, maybe I shouldn't have had any hopes. I really don't know.
All you've ever had was problems. Of the entire time I've known you, there was not even a handful of good news from your words. Some stories are believable. But there are most that are way beyond fantasies. But I did not want to be the person to point out your lies because who am I to say what did or did not happen-- they're your stories. Instead, I listen to your rants. I tell you it will be okay when what I'm really thinking is "what kind of sick person are you"?! Lies after lies. Why do I even bother?
I've tried to let you go. I've even ignored you for a while. But somehow, I was attracted to your neediness. Hating the way I feel so helpless, I lend you a crying shoulder even when I don't want you to be around me. Slowly, the cold bitterness of resentment I had against you became a fatal attraction once again. I knew I would get hurt. I knew there will be nothing from it. Yet, I welcome it all. Maybe, I am the one who's sick-- not you.
So then, I gave you my attention when you need it. I feed into your hunger of neediness. However, when I needed someone, where were you? You have an excuse-- you always have an excuse. Why is it hard for you to return the kindness I've given you? Yet, why is it so easy for you to use me in the way that I can't get you to do the same? Fairness-- that's something you might want to add to your dictionary. There is so much drama in you life-- I know. But have you ever bothered to ask about mine? In fact, is there even anything that you know about me? Besides my name, can you even describe me? Would that mean that I am insignificant to you?
So after 2 years of putting up with this, I'm starting this year off correctly and completely forgetting about you. I don't deserved to be ignored by you when I never once gave you a cold shoulder. To be honest, I really don't know what you want from me. There isn't anything that you can use me for manipulate me for. The only thing I lost from being with you is my heart. If that is what you wanted, congrats for stepping all over it.
All I wanted was just 5 minutes to see you. Say Hi to you. You can't even give me that.
Well, whatever. Fuck you. And consider yourself out of my life.
You accept me to only push me away. You talk to me only to listen to to yourself talk. It would have been better for you to talk to a wall. But after knowingly being used and manipulated, I played along. I thought that maybe there was a deeper meaning to what you're doing. I thought that maybe you wanted to show me something, but didn't know how. But given your history, maybe I shouldn't have had any hopes. I really don't know.
All you've ever had was problems. Of the entire time I've known you, there was not even a handful of good news from your words. Some stories are believable. But there are most that are way beyond fantasies. But I did not want to be the person to point out your lies because who am I to say what did or did not happen-- they're your stories. Instead, I listen to your rants. I tell you it will be okay when what I'm really thinking is "what kind of sick person are you"?! Lies after lies. Why do I even bother?
I've tried to let you go. I've even ignored you for a while. But somehow, I was attracted to your neediness. Hating the way I feel so helpless, I lend you a crying shoulder even when I don't want you to be around me. Slowly, the cold bitterness of resentment I had against you became a fatal attraction once again. I knew I would get hurt. I knew there will be nothing from it. Yet, I welcome it all. Maybe, I am the one who's sick-- not you.
So then, I gave you my attention when you need it. I feed into your hunger of neediness. However, when I needed someone, where were you? You have an excuse-- you always have an excuse. Why is it hard for you to return the kindness I've given you? Yet, why is it so easy for you to use me in the way that I can't get you to do the same? Fairness-- that's something you might want to add to your dictionary. There is so much drama in you life-- I know. But have you ever bothered to ask about mine? In fact, is there even anything that you know about me? Besides my name, can you even describe me? Would that mean that I am insignificant to you?
So after 2 years of putting up with this, I'm starting this year off correctly and completely forgetting about you. I don't deserved to be ignored by you when I never once gave you a cold shoulder. To be honest, I really don't know what you want from me. There isn't anything that you can use me for manipulate me for. The only thing I lost from being with you is my heart. If that is what you wanted, congrats for stepping all over it.
All I wanted was just 5 minutes to see you. Say Hi to you. You can't even give me that.
Well, whatever. Fuck you. And consider yourself out of my life.