i hate that quote
"never know what you have, until it's gone" i hate it because it's true, damnit.
i just got done taking a shower and doing alot of thinking, alot of thinking about everything, life in general.
first, I was thinking about Kristen. though I'm not terribly torn up from what happened, nor am I terribly sad, i am still disappointed. when i look back I realize that Kristen is really all I couldv'e asked for in a relationship at this point and time. during the last few days of our...relationship, I was falling for her extremely bad. you know? when the little things they do when you're alone with them just make you smile when you think about them? yeah, like that. yeah, that hard, after only weeks.
a few of my friends were like "that sucks that Kristen wasn't cooler" or "that sucks she has to be like that" At first i agreed, you know? then i though about it for awhile. why should've she had to have been the one that had to change? why couldn't I? I thought about it, i even gave a small attempt. all my life, i've never questioned how I lived it you know? never wondered if this was this right or wrong way of living. i've also been a firmer believer of the Epicurism type attitude, "if it feels good, do it" I've done drugs, i've drank, i've done stuff with girls and i never questioned it. church never made me question it, my parents never did, past relationships didn't. i dunno how she did, but she did. like i said eariler, i think it's because she was everything i could asked for in a relationship.
so, now I guess i'm "single" again, even though kristen and I never went out, i still considered myself taken. i dunno where thispost is going anymore. something about how i'm going to look for another girl who i can hang out with now or something. my short attention span wont let me finish.
i just got done taking a shower and doing alot of thinking, alot of thinking about everything, life in general.
first, I was thinking about Kristen. though I'm not terribly torn up from what happened, nor am I terribly sad, i am still disappointed. when i look back I realize that Kristen is really all I couldv'e asked for in a relationship at this point and time. during the last few days of our...relationship, I was falling for her extremely bad. you know? when the little things they do when you're alone with them just make you smile when you think about them? yeah, like that. yeah, that hard, after only weeks.
a few of my friends were like "that sucks that Kristen wasn't cooler" or "that sucks she has to be like that" At first i agreed, you know? then i though about it for awhile. why should've she had to have been the one that had to change? why couldn't I? I thought about it, i even gave a small attempt. all my life, i've never questioned how I lived it you know? never wondered if this was this right or wrong way of living. i've also been a firmer believer of the Epicurism type attitude, "if it feels good, do it" I've done drugs, i've drank, i've done stuff with girls and i never questioned it. church never made me question it, my parents never did, past relationships didn't. i dunno how she did, but she did. like i said eariler, i think it's because she was everything i could asked for in a relationship.
so, now I guess i'm "single" again, even though kristen and I never went out, i still considered myself taken. i dunno where thispost is going anymore. something about how i'm going to look for another girl who i can hang out with now or something. my short attention span wont let me finish.