My Devils Island Years...
So yesterday I got married. And it was indeed the happiest day of my life, as I managed to convince Tracy, the most beautiful woman in the world to become my wife. The day was great and the weather wonderful, my Ushers and Best Man were on form, Tracy's Bridesmaids and flower girls were beautiful, both families got on like a house on fire and everyone who turned up were total stars.
During the wedding speeches, Michael, my best man read out a message of congratulations from a variety of people including my best mate Tanya, Pia Guerra, Kim Newman, Noel Clarke, Dan Didio, Elizabeth Miller, Rich Starkings and Leslie Klinger to name (drop) but a few, while I also read out a letter to Tracy from Ben 'Prince Caspian' Barnes. But it was the message from recently married superstar Neil Gaiman that received a massive cheer. Since then, the one question I've been asked most is 'what did it say?'...
So, with grateful thanks to Neil for allowing me to reprint it, here is his note to me.
Dear Tony
I hear you're getting married.
I'm shocked.
I remember, when we were sweating in the endless sun of Devil's Island, between -- it must have been between your second escape attempt and your third, because you still had all your fingers then, you saying to me, "Women. If it was not for women, my friend, I would not be here."
And I said, "Tony, I thought you said you were here because little Eddie mistook the gelignite for play-doh, because One-eyed Achmet did not drive fast enough. Because the bank had modernised their security systems."
And you said, "Women!" And that look came into your eye, the look that even the guards were afraid of, "I will never marry!" you said. "Or if I do, it will only to be to take my revenge on all women, a revenge I swear I shall take... one woman at a time!"
And I said nothing, because we had a saying on Devil's Island. "If Tony Lee says something and you are not sure if he is joking, shut up. Or you will end up the same way as Pierre No-nose."
Well, how times change. I'm sure that you and your bride will be incredibly happy together and that she has nothing at all to worry about. My felicitations to you both.
Neil Gaiman
And that's why the man is one of the best loved people in the business.
Me? I'm off for a few days with my wife. I have a wife now. Wives are cool.