the truth
well, this weekend was fun, i am a padrino....but i m not a responsible one... i lie too much, i keep stuff hidding so u only see a fake me, i drink to get away from problems which only makes me happy for what a second and then i start to piss ppl off because i m too loud... even worse, i get mad, and i fear that one day i m goin to do something that i will regret for the rest of my life...it already begins when i hurt ppl's feelings on Sat. at tony's and alex's and i dont know what to say....i apoligize but how many times can i apoligize, how many times will my mistakes be over looked as "oh dont worry he drank too much", and the sad part or maybe the worst part is that when i drink i tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth....shit that i keep in, that should not be told, come out...feelings get hurt and it makes me seem like i dont care....it sucks when u have no control of ur mouth nor ur heart or brain...feelings come out and defenses go up... and i m afraid that i will lose more than wat i have because of all this...i went to a family party yesterday and i saw the dissappointed look from my sister, the mother of my godchild, i bet she wants to take it back, and then my niece ran to me and hugged me and i thought, what if i had gotten pulled over by a cop or wat if something worse have happened.....what would i have to gain, i havent accomplished shit, and with the rate im goin i dont kno if i will....i cant do this anymore cuz it hurts tooo much, and i dont want to hurt anymore...