Purgatory (3/?)
Sorry for the delay DD:
I really really couldn't concentrate. The scene was playing in my mind, but whenever I tried to write it, it just went away u.u
And I suddenly found myself playing Arkanoid ._. (yes, Arkanoid...)
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Santana stood immobile in the middle of the choir room, facing the door, with her eyes closed. Everybody was looking at her from behind, expecting some kind of reaction, but she didn’t move. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t feel. She was certain that her heart had stopped beating the moment the blonde crossed the threshold. Her head was empty and full at the same time; there were so many thoughts, images, memories, sensations, feelings. Everything was spinning in her head, shaking her from the inside, threatening to break her, and all she could do was shut her mind to the storm.
In that moment, a shocked Mr. Schuester came into the room, looking back at the corridor. “I’ve just run into a furious Brittany and a worried Mercedes.” He started turning his head to look at the people in front of him “Can anybody explain to me what- Oh, Santana, sorry, I didn’t see you”, said him, after accidentally bumping into the Latina, whose only reaction was slowly opening her eyes, and blinking some times, looking at the ground. “Santana? Are you ok?” He put a hand on her shoulder, worried, to find that she was trembling. “Is she ok?” mouthed him to the rest of the members.
Most of them shrugged, and Kurt murmured “Who knows?” Mr. Schue looked at him for a second, and then at all of them again. “What happened?” All of them squirmed in their seats.
“Brittany told Santana she loved her, Mr. Schue. She inquired if her feelings were reciprocated, but, although she didn’t actually use the words ‘I don’t’… She pretty much shot her down. Then, Brittany slap-“
“Shut it, dwarf” barked Santana, with a hoarse voice. “I’m fine” She turned to her chair, wearing a perfect blank expression, and she casually locked eyes with Quinn, who furrowed her eyebrows. Santana quickly looked away and took a seat, crossing both her arms and legs to stop them from shaking. She cleared her throat. “Stop the fucking staring everyone” Shouted her, looking around “Don’t you have anything to do, like singing or something? Don’t you have any of those wonderful ideas of yours to enlighten us with, Berry? I know you do. Just fucking start talking and forget about me.”
“Santana!” Scolded Mr. Schuester “I know you’re hurt and angry, but don’t take it on your partners!”
“Shut the fuck up! I’m not angry, and I’m definitely not fucking hurt! If she wants to get mad at me that’s her fucking problem! I don’t give a fuck about her” Mr. Schuester opened her mouth again, probably to send her to the principal’s office, but someone was faster.
“SANTANA!” Everybody turned their heads to look at Quinn, who had now taken the other Cheerio by the wrist, and was pulling her towards the door. “What the fuck, Fabray?” Shouted the other girl, trying to release her hand from the strong grip, pulling away from her. The blonde turned to her and put a hand in her shoulder “That’s enough, Santana.” She said softly. The Latina stopped offering resistance, and let herself be taken to a nearby empty room.
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Meanwhile, Brittany, angrier than ever, had made her way towards the football field, leaving Mercedes behind, and had dropped herself on her back in the middle of it, absentmindedly picking off little strands of grass.
Mercedes was looking at her from the limit of the pitch, not knowing what to do. Finally, she decided to go with her, and try to cheer her. Once close enough, she was surprised to see that she was not only not sad, but by the looks of it, extremely angry. She did a quick recount of how many times had she seen the blonde angry, and the result was zero. She sat in the grass, beside her, not sure of what she should do next.
“You know”, started her, timidly, “you only had to be a little hard on her. Don’t you think you might have gone a little… overboard?”
Brittany let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t want to follow your plan anymore. I can’t stand it. You don’t know how much it hurts that she keeps choosing Puck. I get mad at her, and then she comes with apologies, and I forgive her, but the next day she’s with him again. And I’m so tired…” She sat up, and a small tear appeared which she quickly wiped from her face. “And I always end up crying! I don’t like it when I cry, my eyes get red and puffy, and they sting. And I’m tired. This time I won’t be so forgiving. I don’t want anything else from her.”
Mercedes patted her arm, trying to calm her. “Well, girl, that’s your decision. In my opinion, she deserves it; she’s been a total bitch since forever. But, and I want you to know that I hate myself for saying this, I want you to rethink it. She’s been nice to you all this time, apart from the whole Puck thing. Maybe you want to reconsider staying at least friends with her.” She shook her head. She really hated herself for caring even the littlest bit about Santana.
“I’m sure. I don’t want to talk to her anymore. I don’t want to be sad. This is worse than when I asked Santa for a magic carpet and I got a bike.”
Choosing to ignore the blonde’s last comment, Mercedes patted her knee and said “if that’s what you want to do, I’m with you”. Brittany looked at her with a sad smile on her mouth. It really hurt to see her, always so happy, now like this. “Wanna go to the park? We could feed the ducks” suggested Mercedes, not really knowing what to say to cheer her friend. Brittany’s small smile instantly turned into a big bright one, as if all the problems didn’t matter anymore. This took Mercedes to ask herself once again how this girl’s mind worked. Whatever, she thought as the two of them made her way towards the parking lot. Brittany’s tendency to be anywhere but in the real life would be very useful to cheer her.