American Psycho
A couple of years ago I read 'American Psycho', a truly disturbing book that got inside the mind of a serial killer and sadist. The scariest thing about it was that no one around him could figure out that he was actually a psycho. He just seemed like an ordinary Wall Street tosser with the suits, the enormous ego, and a bizarre love of Huey Lewis & The News (so he's not all bad!). However, I'm starting to think that Patrick Bateman represents the true elite of American psychos, because the rest of them don't seem to be nearly as sophisticated.
What's my evidence? Well, as you may remember, I recently set up a website at www.russell-crow.com, which a weird American guy called Brad wanted to buy from me (see Here). After he kept sending me abuse, I eventually blocked his email address from my home email account, and never wrote to him again.
But that didn't stop him being weird. After that, he continued to post in my Guestbook as 'BF', coming out with choice lines such as 'Glad to see so many people, like me, regard this site as a total farce that paints Russell Crow in a poor light. I urge real fans to continue to mock this joke - check back soon and you could find an official Russell Crow web site, offering pictures, features and insight into one of the world's best actors.' Yes, even after I'd told him repeatedly about the 'e' on the end, he still couldn't spell Russell Crowe's name.
Eventually this stopped, but last week he popped up again. I'm guessing that he must have run a search on my name and 'journalist' under Google and found out which magazine I write for, because he emailed my editor with this:
_________________________________________________________________
From: "bradley"
To: "Gareth"
Subject: Contact
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 16:42:03 +0100
Do you have the contact details for Ben who I believe writes for your magazine? I'm a friend of his and I'm trying to get back in touch.
Yours ,
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
Of course, Gareth wouldn't have just emailed back my contact details to a complete psycho intentionally, but he was unfortunately out of the office at this time. This meant that Brad automatically received this:
_________________________________________________________________
From: "Gareth"
To: "bradley"
Subject: Re: Contact
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 16:42:03 +0100
I am now out of the office until Monday 1 November without access to email.
For news and all other urgent matters, please contact Ben (ben@bensemailaddress.co.uk).
_________________________________________________________________
Yep, now Brad has my work email address, and despite the fact that I haven't written back to a single one of his emails, he's now trying to be my mate and keeps writing to me. Here's the first one:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 29 October 2004 16:48
Subject: Re: Contact
Ben!
How ya doing buddy! Long time no speak! I wonder whether you are having
problems with your other email address? I tracked you down on the Internet.
Seems I should apologise. Didnt realise you were a journalist! The
problem
with email is you never can tell who youre talking to.
Anyway, what have you been up to? Hows the site going?
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
This isn't completely insane, I'll admit, although it's a bit weird that he seems to be stalking a guy he doesn't even know and spent most of his time insulting me. Anyway, remember the American election? Yep, Brad knows absolutely nothing about me, but he still thinks I want to know his opinion on the result:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 03 November 2004 16:01
Subject: Bush Bush Bush - FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!
Hey Ben!!!
Just a quick email to spread the news! It looks like George-the-man has
taken John Kerry downtown! Boy, thats good news! Hopefully George and
your pal Tony Blair can keep up the fight against those assholes in the middle
east.
I dont have much time for those liberal pussies who puss foot around,
worrying about upsetting people. George is kinda in your face, but its
what we need. Are you with me on that Ben?
What do you think? Have you followed the elections at all?
Let me know Ben, its been a long time!
Bye buddy.
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
Of course, I didn't write back to him, and I thought he'd given up until this morning, when he sent me this:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 18 November 2004 18:23
Subject: Jo Whiley
Didya see this?
http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/0/F9AD67D9C199D2BA80256F4E004CCAC2!opendocument
Sounds to me that that British DJ bitch was being a bit presumptuous.
The B Man.
_________________________________________________________________
Why does this weirdo keep emailing me?! I have this nasty feeling he's going to find out the phone number for my publishing house and call me for a chat one day. He's obviously under the impression that I firstly want to be his friend, and secondly actually give a shit about Russell Crowe's news. Should I be scared? Thank fuck he's in America, that's all I can say.
What's my evidence? Well, as you may remember, I recently set up a website at www.russell-crow.com, which a weird American guy called Brad wanted to buy from me (see Here). After he kept sending me abuse, I eventually blocked his email address from my home email account, and never wrote to him again.
But that didn't stop him being weird. After that, he continued to post in my Guestbook as 'BF', coming out with choice lines such as 'Glad to see so many people, like me, regard this site as a total farce that paints Russell Crow in a poor light. I urge real fans to continue to mock this joke - check back soon and you could find an official Russell Crow web site, offering pictures, features and insight into one of the world's best actors.' Yes, even after I'd told him repeatedly about the 'e' on the end, he still couldn't spell Russell Crowe's name.
Eventually this stopped, but last week he popped up again. I'm guessing that he must have run a search on my name and 'journalist' under Google and found out which magazine I write for, because he emailed my editor with this:
_________________________________________________________________
From: "bradley"
To: "Gareth"
Subject: Contact
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 16:42:03 +0100
Do you have the contact details for Ben who I believe writes for your magazine? I'm a friend of his and I'm trying to get back in touch.
Yours ,
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
Of course, Gareth wouldn't have just emailed back my contact details to a complete psycho intentionally, but he was unfortunately out of the office at this time. This meant that Brad automatically received this:
_________________________________________________________________
From: "Gareth"
To: "bradley"
Subject: Re: Contact
Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 16:42:03 +0100
I am now out of the office until Monday 1 November without access to email.
For news and all other urgent matters, please contact Ben (ben@bensemailaddress.co.uk).
_________________________________________________________________
Yep, now Brad has my work email address, and despite the fact that I haven't written back to a single one of his emails, he's now trying to be my mate and keeps writing to me. Here's the first one:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 29 October 2004 16:48
Subject: Re: Contact
Ben!
How ya doing buddy! Long time no speak! I wonder whether you are having
problems with your other email address? I tracked you down on the Internet.
Seems I should apologise. Didnt realise you were a journalist! The
problem
with email is you never can tell who youre talking to.
Anyway, what have you been up to? Hows the site going?
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
This isn't completely insane, I'll admit, although it's a bit weird that he seems to be stalking a guy he doesn't even know and spent most of his time insulting me. Anyway, remember the American election? Yep, Brad knows absolutely nothing about me, but he still thinks I want to know his opinion on the result:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 03 November 2004 16:01
Subject: Bush Bush Bush - FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!
Hey Ben!!!
Just a quick email to spread the news! It looks like George-the-man has
taken John Kerry downtown! Boy, thats good news! Hopefully George and
your pal Tony Blair can keep up the fight against those assholes in the middle
east.
I dont have much time for those liberal pussies who puss foot around,
worrying about upsetting people. George is kinda in your face, but its
what we need. Are you with me on that Ben?
What do you think? Have you followed the elections at all?
Let me know Ben, its been a long time!
Bye buddy.
Brad
_________________________________________________________________
Of course, I didn't write back to him, and I thought he'd given up until this morning, when he sent me this:
_________________________________________________________________
-----Original Message-----
Sent: 18 November 2004 18:23
Subject: Jo Whiley
Didya see this?
http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/0/F9AD67D9C199D2BA80256F4E004CCAC2!opendocument
Sounds to me that that British DJ bitch was being a bit presumptuous.
The B Man.
_________________________________________________________________
Why does this weirdo keep emailing me?! I have this nasty feeling he's going to find out the phone number for my publishing house and call me for a chat one day. He's obviously under the impression that I firstly want to be his friend, and secondly actually give a shit about Russell Crowe's news. Should I be scared? Thank fuck he's in America, that's all I can say.