HP Ficlet: Lesson Plans
Title: Lesson Plans
Author: MrsTater
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo
Format & Word Count: ficlet, 594 words
Prompts: R/T and Harry, Honeymooners 'verse, quaffle
Summary: How does an innocuous game of one-on-one Quidditch present Remus with a new teaching opportunity in a discipline for which he is hardly qualified?
Author's Note: A rather late birthday gift for Shimotsuki. Hope this meets expectations, m'dear! Thanks to Godricgal for the Brit-pick!
Lesson Plans
"Harry, what in Merlin's Quidditch robes are you doing?" shouted Ginny over her shoulder; Harry's Firebolt was swiftly catching up to her broomstick, their game of one-on-one Quidditch gone awry. "The Quaffle's behind you!"
"Whoops!" Harry's bright green eyes gleamed Marauderishly from beneath his unruly black fringe as he flew alongside his girlfriend. "Only I thought the position I'm playing was called chase her."
Ginny's eye-roll was transfigured into a wide-eyed shriek as Harry suddenly lunged at her, grasping her 'round the waist, and tackled her off her broomstick. Fortunately they were flying low over the thick, soft bed of grass carpeting the Lupins' back garden; nonetheless, Remus, reclining on a sun lounger several yards away, winced in sympathy as the youngsters hit the ground with a thud. The broomsticks and Quaffles continued to zoom about the garden while Ginny howled with laughter as Harry straddled her and launched a tickle assault.
Though Harry and Ginny were relatively hidden behind a shrub, Remus looked discreetly away, reaching out to turn Teddy's toy broom around, too.
"Have you had a chat with him?" asked Dora, on the sun lounger beside Remus, wearing an enormous pair of tortoiseshell sunglasses, thumbing through Witch Weekly.
"A chat?"
"Mm, about the birds and the bees."
Remus choked. His eyes darted sideways just in time to see Harry's head dip to capture Ginny's lips in a passionate kiss. Remus looked away again.
"He's almost eighteen, Dora. I'm sure he knows all about...that."
"Oh, no doubt he knows the mechanics." Dora looked at Remus over the tops of her sunglasses. "Boys talk. But boys also talk about sex in terms of metaphors like putting the Quaffle into the hoop."
"Ex!" chirped Teddy. "Kaffle! Hay, Kaffle!"
Whipping off her sunglasses, Dora gawped at Remus. "Did Teddy just say--"
"Don't repeat it again," Remus interrupted, hooking the back of Teddy's overalls to prevent him from flying away from their corner of the garden to see his godfather Hay and learn a bit about the word he'd just said in garbled baby talk.
"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," said Dora, returning her attention to her magazine. "Only Harry'll be doing it soon, and we need to be sure he's armed with knowledge."
She looked up when Teddy pitched off his toy broom, but let out a sigh when, unfazed, their son hiked himself up and grabbed a miniature dragon off the quilt of toys spread out on the lawn. He set the dragon to chasing a Chudley Cannon figurine.
"Or else," Dora continued, glancing in Harry's direction, "he might end up with one of these wonderful little creatures before he's quite ready."
Remus snorted. "And you think I'm the most qualified one to teach Harry about contraceptives?"
Dora grinned. "Well, there's nothing like having an example of what can happen, is there?"
"Yes, because Teddy's such a terrible consequence."
He reached for his wife's hand, brought it briefly up to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles, and held it as they watched their growing boy play happily with his toys. Teddy was giving quite impressive dragon roars to compliment the chase scene occurring between his toys, but Remus noticed over the noise that he could hear the low, intimate laughter of Harry and Ginny, still clearly snogging, oblivious to their lack of privacy.
"Right," he said. "I'll speak with him later."
Dora leaned over to peck him on his flushed cheek. "Just promise me that no matter how embarrassing it might be, Professor, you won't talk about Quaffles."
Author: MrsTater
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo
Format & Word Count: ficlet, 594 words
Prompts: R/T and Harry, Honeymooners 'verse, quaffle
Summary: How does an innocuous game of one-on-one Quidditch present Remus with a new teaching opportunity in a discipline for which he is hardly qualified?
Author's Note: A rather late birthday gift for Shimotsuki. Hope this meets expectations, m'dear! Thanks to Godricgal for the Brit-pick!
Lesson Plans
"Harry, what in Merlin's Quidditch robes are you doing?" shouted Ginny over her shoulder; Harry's Firebolt was swiftly catching up to her broomstick, their game of one-on-one Quidditch gone awry. "The Quaffle's behind you!"
"Whoops!" Harry's bright green eyes gleamed Marauderishly from beneath his unruly black fringe as he flew alongside his girlfriend. "Only I thought the position I'm playing was called chase her."
Ginny's eye-roll was transfigured into a wide-eyed shriek as Harry suddenly lunged at her, grasping her 'round the waist, and tackled her off her broomstick. Fortunately they were flying low over the thick, soft bed of grass carpeting the Lupins' back garden; nonetheless, Remus, reclining on a sun lounger several yards away, winced in sympathy as the youngsters hit the ground with a thud. The broomsticks and Quaffles continued to zoom about the garden while Ginny howled with laughter as Harry straddled her and launched a tickle assault.
Though Harry and Ginny were relatively hidden behind a shrub, Remus looked discreetly away, reaching out to turn Teddy's toy broom around, too.
"Have you had a chat with him?" asked Dora, on the sun lounger beside Remus, wearing an enormous pair of tortoiseshell sunglasses, thumbing through Witch Weekly.
"A chat?"
"Mm, about the birds and the bees."
Remus choked. His eyes darted sideways just in time to see Harry's head dip to capture Ginny's lips in a passionate kiss. Remus looked away again.
"He's almost eighteen, Dora. I'm sure he knows all about...that."
"Oh, no doubt he knows the mechanics." Dora looked at Remus over the tops of her sunglasses. "Boys talk. But boys also talk about sex in terms of metaphors like putting the Quaffle into the hoop."
"Ex!" chirped Teddy. "Kaffle! Hay, Kaffle!"
Whipping off her sunglasses, Dora gawped at Remus. "Did Teddy just say--"
"Don't repeat it again," Remus interrupted, hooking the back of Teddy's overalls to prevent him from flying away from their corner of the garden to see his godfather Hay and learn a bit about the word he'd just said in garbled baby talk.
"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," said Dora, returning her attention to her magazine. "Only Harry'll be doing it soon, and we need to be sure he's armed with knowledge."
She looked up when Teddy pitched off his toy broom, but let out a sigh when, unfazed, their son hiked himself up and grabbed a miniature dragon off the quilt of toys spread out on the lawn. He set the dragon to chasing a Chudley Cannon figurine.
"Or else," Dora continued, glancing in Harry's direction, "he might end up with one of these wonderful little creatures before he's quite ready."
Remus snorted. "And you think I'm the most qualified one to teach Harry about contraceptives?"
Dora grinned. "Well, there's nothing like having an example of what can happen, is there?"
"Yes, because Teddy's such a terrible consequence."
He reached for his wife's hand, brought it briefly up to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles, and held it as they watched their growing boy play happily with his toys. Teddy was giving quite impressive dragon roars to compliment the chase scene occurring between his toys, but Remus noticed over the noise that he could hear the low, intimate laughter of Harry and Ginny, still clearly snogging, oblivious to their lack of privacy.
"Right," he said. "I'll speak with him later."
Dora leaned over to peck him on his flushed cheek. "Just promise me that no matter how embarrassing it might be, Professor, you won't talk about Quaffles."