HP: Joke Shop Sentiments
Title: Joke Shop Sentiments
Author: MrsTater
Format & Word Count: fic, 1930
Rating: PG
Summary: Remus gets Tonks a birthday card Molly is sure just doesn't say enough.
Author's Note: Written for the June/July 2006 rt_challenge, for the prompt things left unsaid.
Joke Shop Sentiments
The rambunctious laughter that could only be the twins' was not the sound Molly expected to hear upon her arrival at Grimmauld Place to prepare for Tonks' birthday party. She nearly fell down the basement stairs when she saw Remus seated between them at the kitchen table, laughing his head off along with them at something they were looking at on the table.
Of course she was glad to see Remus looking happy. Merlin knew there was precious little to inspire laughter these days, especially for a person who'd been through all he had the past year, only to wind up trapped in this gloomy old house - even if he did have Tonks for company. But if the twins were involved, they were almost certainly up to no good.
"Why aren't you at the joke shop?" Molly loudly addressed her sons as she slowly descended, gripping the handrail. "And could someone please take this basket for me?"
"Accio Mum's basket," said Fred with a lazy flick of his wand that sent Molly's hamper of dinner ingredients to the counter behind them. To Remus he said, "Did you hear how she said joke shop?"
"Like she doesn't take us seriously," added George.
"Do you want her to take you seriously?" Remus asked.
Molly rolled her eyes at the impish grin Fred and George exchanged over his head. Why was the former professor and the new Order leader encouraging them?
"All right then," said George. "We don't want to be taken seriously-"
"-but we would like a little respect," Fred said, "for our mind boggling entrepreneurship."
"The mind certainly does boggle," Molly said as she stepped around the table and noted that it was covered in greeting cards, "at how entrepreneurship happens when you're not at your shop."
"Verity's got it under control." George waved his hand dismissively, then grabbed a card. "Here, Remus, have a look at this one."
"These are your cards?" Molly reached for one, but George summoned it away from her. She'd glimpsed just enough of the front to see that it was rude.
"This, mother dearest," he said importantly, standing and laying a hand on Remus' shoulder - who was sniggering in an almost juvenile way at a card and seemed not to have heard them, "is an example of the stellar service we at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes offer our valued patrons. If the customers can't come to us-"
"-we come to the customers," Fred finished.
Molly blinked. What were they going on about?
"I asked Fred and George to bring me a sampling of their birthday card inventory," Remus explained, reaching for another card.
If he'd said he was going into business with the twins, Molly could not have been more shocked. "Remus Lupin! You're not giving Tonks a Wheezes birthday card!"
"Of course I am." His pleasant smile became a smirk as he read.
"I know you can't get out and shop for her…" Molly bustled to the counter and began unpacking the hamper. Glancing at her sons, she unwillingly said, "…and it's very thoughtful of you pair to help Remus out…" Their chests puffed. "But Remus, you don't need me to remind you that Tonks is a very special young lady and none of these cards is appropriate for her!"
To her indignation, the lot of them exchanged a guilty - but not at all chagrined - look, then collapsed with laughter.
Hands on her hips, Molly spun to face them. As she stared them down, they gradually stopped laughing, but the mischief continued to sparkle in all three sets of eyes.
"Now Molly," said Remus, "I always give Tonks humorous cards."
"Y'see?" said the twins.
"There's nothing wrong with humorous cards." Molly turned back to the counter and enlarged her reduced mixing bowl, then cast a spell to measure flour into it for Tonks' birthday cake. "And I know Tonks loves a laugh - but after all that girl's been through, she needs a bit more than that. You've got to express how you really feel about her."
"It's Tonks' birthday, Mum," Fred said, "not bleeding Valentine's Day."
"And they're shut up in here alone for days on end. What d'you think Remus does besides express-"
"GEORGE!" Molly whirled around again.
"I'm George!"
"And how d'you know a dirty joke doesn't express how Remus feels about Tonks' twenty-fifth birthday?"
"FRED!"
"I'm Fred!"
"WHY DID YOU BRING RUDE CARDS?"
"I asked them to bring their humorous inventory," said Remus sheepishly, face a little red.
Molly's temper cooled, and she turned back to the cake mix. "I wish you'd told me you needed a card, Remus. I saw the perfect one just the other day. It was funny and seemed made just for you and Tonks."
"What did it say?" Remus asked.
Before Molly could speak, Fred urgently said, "Don't listen to her!"
"Yeah," George agreed. "This is the woman who loves Celestina Warbeck-"
"-and weeps buckets at the soppy cards Dad gives her-" Fred's voice dropped. "-and likes to be called Mollywobbles."
Face burning, Molly opened her mouth to reprimand Fred, but mortification seemed to have stolen her power of speech.
"Just out of curiosity," George said, "what d'you call Tonks? I don't think any man could get out Nymph-"
"GEORGE!"
"Guessed right that time."
"What was the card, Molly?" Remus asked calmly - though to Molly's dismay, she found his composure disconcerting. Really now, he ought to be embarrassed that his former students were making off remarks about his love life.
"On the front it had a picture of an adorable yellow badger." To Molly's relief, describing the birthday card distracted from the uncomfortable topic the twins had broached. Stirring sugar into the bowl, she continued, "It said, Why is it so hard to buy the perfect birthday gift for a Hufflepuff?"
"That's got comedic potential," said Fred in tones that told Molly she'd soon see cards about Hufflepuffs in the shop.
"Why?" Remus asked.
"Because-"
Mercifully, Remus interrupted, "I mean, what's the punch line?"
Molly smiled. "Because a Hufflepuff would rather give other people presents."
Silence ensued, during which Molly thought her sons might actually be contemplating the value of heart-felt sentiment and the selflessness of true love.
George dashed her hopes. "That botched its comedic potential."
"It's sentimental!" Molly cried.
"It's soppy!" George returned.
"It's very nice, Molly," said Remus politely as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a few Knuts, "but I really have found the perfect card from Tonks."
"Among our fine inventory." George accepted the payment.
"Your off inventory," Molly muttered.
"It's not off," Remus quickly added.
"Much," said the twins together.
Shaking her head, Molly cracked an egg against the lip of the bowl. "I just hope," she said, "dear Tonks isn't expecting more out of you than an adolescent joke."
==========
It seemed Fred and George had supplied every birthday card Tonks received from the Order that night - except for Molly's Hufflepuff card, which she'd sent Arthur to pick up at the last minute. Each was more over-the-top and ridiculous than the one before, or else everyone was in such stitches that the jokes became funnier than they actually were.
Even Molly was not exempt from amusement. She had to admit, it was wonderful to see Tonks aglow after that horrible year in which she'd hardly laughed at all. It was almost as if it had never happened.
"Well then." Tonks set aside Fred and George's card, and turned to Remus beside her with an expectant look. "Your turn. Tough act to follow, the twins."
Another round of laughter erupted at the table at the reference to Fred and George's joke, which even Molly couldn't call unimpressive, despite the fact that it was a bit risqué, illustrated by a miniature fireworks display from which Tonks' spikes and barely escaped un-singed.
But Molly didn't laugh. She studied Remus with pursed lips. He was such a thoughtful man, and this would be the perfect moment for him to present Tonks with a beautiful poem to express his devotion. It would be a nice end to the party to see Tonks' eyes shine with happy tears. Nothing else could make Molly forget how she'd ached to see the dullness in Tonks' eyes on her last birthday, when Remus hadn't turned up or even sent a simple note.
Remus' eyes gleamed with mischief as he reached into his robes and drew out an envelope. "Have a little faith in a Marauder, Nymphadora."
Shooting the twins a glare that silenced them before they could again mention pet names, Molly sighed heavily, stood, and sent the empty cake plates to the sink. Why did Remus have to give into that mischievous streak? Why weren't all men as adept at the business of love as Arthur?
Of course, a tiny inner voice reminded her as she cast an aguamenti and set the dishes to scrubbing, Arthur hadn't always brought her to tears with heart-felt sentiment. They'd celebrated quite a few birthdays together before he'd realised she didn't share his fondness for silly Muggle cards. Maybe in time Remus would learn what women wanted. But he was a great deal more stubborn than Arthur…
But surely even Remus wasn't so stubborn that he would deny Tonks' laughter wasn't quite as enthusiastic as it had been at some of the other cards. Surely he saw that what Tonks appreciated from friends wasn't what she wanted from her partner.
Molly turned from the sink, bracing herself for disappointment on Tonks' face, formulating the words of comfort she would offer later about men being clueless creatures. She was surprised to see the couple looking at each other as they had when their romance was just blossoming: as if they'd assumed things about each other and been surprised to find them completely untrue; as if they'd discovered someone so fascinating that no one else was of any interest at all; as if their sole purpose in life was to puzzle one another out. Yet that same look also held a sense of thorough acquaintance. There were no secrets between them; they'd been together for ages.
It was absolutely intimate.
"You've got the maturity of a fifth-year," said Tonks, as though it were the highest compliment she could bestow.
The premature lines of Remus' face melted away as he grinned. Was it a trick of the light, or had Tonks' hair gone a little pinker as she beamed at him?
Pinker or not, Molly couldn't deny that both of them appeared fully recovered from their separation. Remus really did look startlingly boyish as he leant close to Tonks and again read the card, laughing as though it were the first time he'd seen it. Tonks' adoring gaze never wavered from his face. It must be a tremendous relief for her to see him this way, when he'd been so grim and gaunt and haggard during his time underground - and for a good while after.
Their silent communication explained - though Molly couldn't guess what precisely they were saying to one another - why Remus had insisted on giving Tonks one of the twins' ridiculous cards.
He knew a thing or two about this business of love after all.
Molly's breath hitched as Tonks gently kissed his cheek; she sighed audibly as, under the table, Remus' hand slid over Tonks' thigh.
Most satisfying, however, were the looks of utter perplexity that knit the twins' brows as they contemplated the fact that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes cards could produce similar effects as cards featuring soppy love poetry.
Author: MrsTater
Format & Word Count: fic, 1930
Rating: PG
Summary: Remus gets Tonks a birthday card Molly is sure just doesn't say enough.
Author's Note: Written for the June/July 2006 rt_challenge, for the prompt things left unsaid.
Joke Shop Sentiments
The rambunctious laughter that could only be the twins' was not the sound Molly expected to hear upon her arrival at Grimmauld Place to prepare for Tonks' birthday party. She nearly fell down the basement stairs when she saw Remus seated between them at the kitchen table, laughing his head off along with them at something they were looking at on the table.
Of course she was glad to see Remus looking happy. Merlin knew there was precious little to inspire laughter these days, especially for a person who'd been through all he had the past year, only to wind up trapped in this gloomy old house - even if he did have Tonks for company. But if the twins were involved, they were almost certainly up to no good.
"Why aren't you at the joke shop?" Molly loudly addressed her sons as she slowly descended, gripping the handrail. "And could someone please take this basket for me?"
"Accio Mum's basket," said Fred with a lazy flick of his wand that sent Molly's hamper of dinner ingredients to the counter behind them. To Remus he said, "Did you hear how she said joke shop?"
"Like she doesn't take us seriously," added George.
"Do you want her to take you seriously?" Remus asked.
Molly rolled her eyes at the impish grin Fred and George exchanged over his head. Why was the former professor and the new Order leader encouraging them?
"All right then," said George. "We don't want to be taken seriously-"
"-but we would like a little respect," Fred said, "for our mind boggling entrepreneurship."
"The mind certainly does boggle," Molly said as she stepped around the table and noted that it was covered in greeting cards, "at how entrepreneurship happens when you're not at your shop."
"Verity's got it under control." George waved his hand dismissively, then grabbed a card. "Here, Remus, have a look at this one."
"These are your cards?" Molly reached for one, but George summoned it away from her. She'd glimpsed just enough of the front to see that it was rude.
"This, mother dearest," he said importantly, standing and laying a hand on Remus' shoulder - who was sniggering in an almost juvenile way at a card and seemed not to have heard them, "is an example of the stellar service we at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes offer our valued patrons. If the customers can't come to us-"
"-we come to the customers," Fred finished.
Molly blinked. What were they going on about?
"I asked Fred and George to bring me a sampling of their birthday card inventory," Remus explained, reaching for another card.
If he'd said he was going into business with the twins, Molly could not have been more shocked. "Remus Lupin! You're not giving Tonks a Wheezes birthday card!"
"Of course I am." His pleasant smile became a smirk as he read.
"I know you can't get out and shop for her…" Molly bustled to the counter and began unpacking the hamper. Glancing at her sons, she unwillingly said, "…and it's very thoughtful of you pair to help Remus out…" Their chests puffed. "But Remus, you don't need me to remind you that Tonks is a very special young lady and none of these cards is appropriate for her!"
To her indignation, the lot of them exchanged a guilty - but not at all chagrined - look, then collapsed with laughter.
Hands on her hips, Molly spun to face them. As she stared them down, they gradually stopped laughing, but the mischief continued to sparkle in all three sets of eyes.
"Now Molly," said Remus, "I always give Tonks humorous cards."
"Y'see?" said the twins.
"There's nothing wrong with humorous cards." Molly turned back to the counter and enlarged her reduced mixing bowl, then cast a spell to measure flour into it for Tonks' birthday cake. "And I know Tonks loves a laugh - but after all that girl's been through, she needs a bit more than that. You've got to express how you really feel about her."
"It's Tonks' birthday, Mum," Fred said, "not bleeding Valentine's Day."
"And they're shut up in here alone for days on end. What d'you think Remus does besides express-"
"GEORGE!" Molly whirled around again.
"I'm George!"
"And how d'you know a dirty joke doesn't express how Remus feels about Tonks' twenty-fifth birthday?"
"FRED!"
"I'm Fred!"
"WHY DID YOU BRING RUDE CARDS?"
"I asked them to bring their humorous inventory," said Remus sheepishly, face a little red.
Molly's temper cooled, and she turned back to the cake mix. "I wish you'd told me you needed a card, Remus. I saw the perfect one just the other day. It was funny and seemed made just for you and Tonks."
"What did it say?" Remus asked.
Before Molly could speak, Fred urgently said, "Don't listen to her!"
"Yeah," George agreed. "This is the woman who loves Celestina Warbeck-"
"-and weeps buckets at the soppy cards Dad gives her-" Fred's voice dropped. "-and likes to be called Mollywobbles."
Face burning, Molly opened her mouth to reprimand Fred, but mortification seemed to have stolen her power of speech.
"Just out of curiosity," George said, "what d'you call Tonks? I don't think any man could get out Nymph-"
"GEORGE!"
"Guessed right that time."
"What was the card, Molly?" Remus asked calmly - though to Molly's dismay, she found his composure disconcerting. Really now, he ought to be embarrassed that his former students were making off remarks about his love life.
"On the front it had a picture of an adorable yellow badger." To Molly's relief, describing the birthday card distracted from the uncomfortable topic the twins had broached. Stirring sugar into the bowl, she continued, "It said, Why is it so hard to buy the perfect birthday gift for a Hufflepuff?"
"That's got comedic potential," said Fred in tones that told Molly she'd soon see cards about Hufflepuffs in the shop.
"Why?" Remus asked.
"Because-"
Mercifully, Remus interrupted, "I mean, what's the punch line?"
Molly smiled. "Because a Hufflepuff would rather give other people presents."
Silence ensued, during which Molly thought her sons might actually be contemplating the value of heart-felt sentiment and the selflessness of true love.
George dashed her hopes. "That botched its comedic potential."
"It's sentimental!" Molly cried.
"It's soppy!" George returned.
"It's very nice, Molly," said Remus politely as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a few Knuts, "but I really have found the perfect card from Tonks."
"Among our fine inventory." George accepted the payment.
"Your off inventory," Molly muttered.
"It's not off," Remus quickly added.
"Much," said the twins together.
Shaking her head, Molly cracked an egg against the lip of the bowl. "I just hope," she said, "dear Tonks isn't expecting more out of you than an adolescent joke."
==========
It seemed Fred and George had supplied every birthday card Tonks received from the Order that night - except for Molly's Hufflepuff card, which she'd sent Arthur to pick up at the last minute. Each was more over-the-top and ridiculous than the one before, or else everyone was in such stitches that the jokes became funnier than they actually were.
Even Molly was not exempt from amusement. She had to admit, it was wonderful to see Tonks aglow after that horrible year in which she'd hardly laughed at all. It was almost as if it had never happened.
"Well then." Tonks set aside Fred and George's card, and turned to Remus beside her with an expectant look. "Your turn. Tough act to follow, the twins."
Another round of laughter erupted at the table at the reference to Fred and George's joke, which even Molly couldn't call unimpressive, despite the fact that it was a bit risqué, illustrated by a miniature fireworks display from which Tonks' spikes and barely escaped un-singed.
But Molly didn't laugh. She studied Remus with pursed lips. He was such a thoughtful man, and this would be the perfect moment for him to present Tonks with a beautiful poem to express his devotion. It would be a nice end to the party to see Tonks' eyes shine with happy tears. Nothing else could make Molly forget how she'd ached to see the dullness in Tonks' eyes on her last birthday, when Remus hadn't turned up or even sent a simple note.
Remus' eyes gleamed with mischief as he reached into his robes and drew out an envelope. "Have a little faith in a Marauder, Nymphadora."
Shooting the twins a glare that silenced them before they could again mention pet names, Molly sighed heavily, stood, and sent the empty cake plates to the sink. Why did Remus have to give into that mischievous streak? Why weren't all men as adept at the business of love as Arthur?
Of course, a tiny inner voice reminded her as she cast an aguamenti and set the dishes to scrubbing, Arthur hadn't always brought her to tears with heart-felt sentiment. They'd celebrated quite a few birthdays together before he'd realised she didn't share his fondness for silly Muggle cards. Maybe in time Remus would learn what women wanted. But he was a great deal more stubborn than Arthur…
But surely even Remus wasn't so stubborn that he would deny Tonks' laughter wasn't quite as enthusiastic as it had been at some of the other cards. Surely he saw that what Tonks appreciated from friends wasn't what she wanted from her partner.
Molly turned from the sink, bracing herself for disappointment on Tonks' face, formulating the words of comfort she would offer later about men being clueless creatures. She was surprised to see the couple looking at each other as they had when their romance was just blossoming: as if they'd assumed things about each other and been surprised to find them completely untrue; as if they'd discovered someone so fascinating that no one else was of any interest at all; as if their sole purpose in life was to puzzle one another out. Yet that same look also held a sense of thorough acquaintance. There were no secrets between them; they'd been together for ages.
It was absolutely intimate.
"You've got the maturity of a fifth-year," said Tonks, as though it were the highest compliment she could bestow.
The premature lines of Remus' face melted away as he grinned. Was it a trick of the light, or had Tonks' hair gone a little pinker as she beamed at him?
Pinker or not, Molly couldn't deny that both of them appeared fully recovered from their separation. Remus really did look startlingly boyish as he leant close to Tonks and again read the card, laughing as though it were the first time he'd seen it. Tonks' adoring gaze never wavered from his face. It must be a tremendous relief for her to see him this way, when he'd been so grim and gaunt and haggard during his time underground - and for a good while after.
Their silent communication explained - though Molly couldn't guess what precisely they were saying to one another - why Remus had insisted on giving Tonks one of the twins' ridiculous cards.
He knew a thing or two about this business of love after all.
Molly's breath hitched as Tonks gently kissed his cheek; she sighed audibly as, under the table, Remus' hand slid over Tonks' thigh.
Most satisfying, however, were the looks of utter perplexity that knit the twins' brows as they contemplated the fact that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes cards could produce similar effects as cards featuring soppy love poetry.