The Only Colour Better Than Black Is Transparent Chap 16
A.N. Things have gotten quite bad with Ryo finally getting off his butt and proclaiming a 500-year-old love for Tatsuya O.o
And kissing him.
“WHAT PART OF ME ISN’T BETTER THAN HE IS?!”
The words shocked both of them.
“… What do you mean… Ryo?” Tatsuya trembled. He didn’t need any more confusion in his life… but they always find him like a jinx.
No turning back now…
“…I mean this.”
The black-wing threw Tatsuya roughly onto the couch and trapped the smaller angel under himself in an instant. Without thinking, he dipped his head and crashed their lips together.
Tatsuya felt violated when a hot tongue forced its way into his mouth. It didn’t feel right. Whatever Ryo was on, it couldn’t go on…
Junno…
He bit down hard but Ryo winced at the pain and didn’t retreat. Both angels tasted metal.
It was only then that Tatsuya realised Ryo’s seriousness.
I’ve never registered him as the heir to Hell before… But this domination, this aggression, is in his blood. How could I have not noticed his feelings all along? Oh. Like I didn’t notice Junno’s… I’m such an idiot!
At the end, it was the look of pure fear in his eyes that caused Ryo to pull back, wiping his sore mouth with the back of his hand. Almost in tears of frustration, he had to hold back from taking his friend right then and there. “…Can’t you look around you?” his angry voice changed into a pleading one, “I can offer you so much more! Why do you stick to that idiot like glue? Was that kiss unpleasant? Can you not think this over?! SURELY I’M LESS ANNOYING TO YOU THAN TAGUCHI JUNNOUSKE!!” He hardly recognised his own screaming voice. If Hell’s minions ever saw him like this, he might as well give up on his Satanic job forever.
“…I’m sorry Ryo, but you’re just a friend,” Tatsuya stated firmly, “my best friend, but I have a clear line. I’m sorry for not being able to feel the same way, but if you try that again, I’ll kill you.”
Huh… I expected no less. What was I even hoping for? That Tatsuya would accept me with open arms? Ryo you imbecile. He’s not a normal White… Of COURSE he’d threaten to kill you. Yes. That was to be expected.
He couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt though.
“You’re right,” Ryo said flatly, “I was out of line. Sorry.”
I’m really sorry Tatsuya… Plan: Initiate.
“I’ll help you,” he lied, “to get your magic back. It might take a while, but I swear on my soul that I’ll get it done in two days - let this be my way of loving you.” He tried to put the best pained look on his face. “In the meantime, why don’t you go to the hospital and see him? I need to clear my head…”
A simple smile. “Thank you Ryo.”
It melted his heart.
[Hospital]
Passer-by glanced over their shoulder at the gorgeous man who was sitting with his knees tucked under his chin outside a VIP suite room.
The drive to the hospital was a blur in his memory, as Ueda was too busy thinking of ways he could bring Junno to accept him again, but it didn’t strike him until he touched the cold metal door handle of Junno’s hospital room that it was near impossible.
For one, Junno had been the one to openly suggest they stop seeing each other in the first place.
Aaaah what should I even say if I go in there and see him? “Your opinion doesn’t matter, we love each other so we have to be together!”?
Sounds like a BL manga! I will not reduce myself to uttering such lines…. No I won’t!
….Okay. Maybe something modified… Something cooler.
“Sir?”
Ueda nearly had a heart attack as someone placed their hand on his shoulder. “GYA!! WHO- WHAT- WHERE- THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”
He lashed around only to find the bespectacled eyes of a startled head nurse staring back at him. “Umm.. Aren’t you the gentleman from before? Are you still looking for Taguchi-sama? This is his room…”
Perfect. A yaoi fangirl to make my day better!
Before Ueda could react, the nurse pulled open Junno’s door with a grin on her face. “TAGUCHI-SAMA~ THE MAN WITH THE COPPER HAIR IS FINALLY HERE TO SEE YOU!!!! SHOW US SOME LOVING!!!”
The angel’s jaw dropped to the floor as he tried to make a hasty retreat, only to be picked up by the scruff of the neck and thrown like a rag doll into the room. Rolling head over heels a few times after point of impact, Ueda landed at the foot of Junno’s bed.
Junno looked more shaken than he was. It wasn’t every day that your nurse throws your ex-boyfriend into your room with a bleeding nose, expecting you to make-out.
“Good day err, Ueda-san,” he stammered, awkwardly scrunching the sheets under him. It was difficult to find the right words. The same man was dumped by him, and had tried to kill him with gleaming red eyes less than three days ago.
“Hello,” Ueda picked himself up off the floor and gave the head nurse a shrivelling glare. “Before we begin, can all resident yaoi fangirls remove themselves from LIFE in general? And clean up the nose blood from my clothes, preferably before you rot in hell?!”
Junno’s crisp giggle made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
“Hahahaha…” the tall man covered his mouth with his hands, “I was worried about you Uepi, but it looks like you’re still okay…”
“I’m NOT okay!” Ueda fumed, “Nothing good ever comes my way when I’m dealing with you- I mean, no… It’s not like you bring me misfortune or anything geez! You’d have to be a right idiot to think that I hate you or anything… because you know… er.. What I mean by all of this is….”
“Ue…pi?” Junno smiled forlornly, “We’ve been through this, remember?”
Tears began to flow without Ueda even realizing it. “I KNOW!!! YOU IDIOT!!!” he tried to control his emotions, “I’m here to tell you that I won’t take no for an answer! You still love me right?! Then your opinion doesn’t matter! Being together is what counts and I didn’t realize how much of I lucky bastard I was before I lost you! I’m sorry for not being nicer to you, paying attention to you and everything! I demand another chance!!!”
He clapped his hand over his mouth.
Shit… I went ahead and said it! I sound like a BL manga… God no… He’ll just look at me with those big eyes and reject me again…
“Why…” Junno shook his head, “…Why does it have to be me?”
“Because you’re the definition of perfect… No matter what you are,” Ueda reached forward and fluffed Junno’s hair for the first time in too long, “Stop trying to act responsibly when you’re just a brat. Be mine Junnosuke, be nobody’s but mine. With you, I can work miracles… I’ll fix you.”
Is the same demon who tried to kill me? Never mind - it’s time I trusted my instincts….
He let go of his thoughts like a summer kite. “Miracles…” Junno grabbed Ueda’s arms and yanked him into an embrace. He buried his face in Ueda’s clothes, taking in his scent, his life, everything, like it was about to fade away. His instincts never failed him. “Miracles… Can you make it snow?”
Somewhere, Ryo logged off his app for the last time and snapped his fingers.
Fluffy, white specks of cotton candy fell from the sky languidly like it was the right season. Snow in October… a true miracle.
Junno’s eyes grew wide as out of the corner of his vision, a snowflake flew into his room through a window. “U-Uepi… s-snow… in October… Who are you?”
Tatsuya looked at the phenomenon outside, and mouthed ‘thank you’ to the Heavens. “Shh… don’t ask about it,” he placed a cold finger onto Junno’s lips, “we should go outside, ne?”
Previous misgivings were like they never existed. Tatsuya did not want to question it either… He had a week - all he was focused on was his week.
“Son, are you sure you should be doing this?” the panda sat at the foot of Ryo’s bed and whispered. It was smaller this time, about the size of a bedside lamp, but equally ridiculous speaking in Lucifer’s voice.
“Go away Dad!” Ryo threw a pillow at the toy, “You said unscrupulous methods are good! If this were a Manipulation exam paper, I’d pass with flying colours! I feel bad enough lying to Tatsuya, I don’t need some old guy in a panda nagging on my conscience!”
“It bothers ME that you have evolved a conscience,” the panda plodded forwards so that it was standing on Ryo’s stomach, “that junk DNA should be left turned off!”
“Stop sounding high and mighty when you’re a fucking stuffed panda!” the black-wing groaned, “it’s for his own good! I’m trying to save him from those Whites!”
“I think you want his body even if you can’t get his soul,” Lucifer jumped on Ryo like a trampoline and suddenly transformed himself to lead in mid-air.
“OWWWW!!!!” the black-wing howled as a 30-kg mass squashed him, “LEAVE YOUR KID ALONE!!!! FUCKING FAT METAL PANDA!!!”
“Kids these days just don’t listen to wise old Satans in their rebellious stage…” the panda dodged an incoming bout of destructive magic that tore a molten hole in the wall, “Do what you will then Ryo… but remember: Hell is fair. I’d say right now the only decent thing you’ve done since you came to Earth was hack Heaven’s database, get their technicians fired and make Tokyo snow in October… Does that sound like a happy ending to you?”
Ryo swore silently to himself. It’s not like I’m doing this to cause Tatsuya pain… I just don’t want him to make any stupid decisions that might kill him! What’s wrong with that?!
It didn’t take much effort into sweet-talking the head nurse into lending Junno a wheelchair to go outside with. All she needed was a kiss between them, although Ueda politely refused a photograph.
Junno breathed in the fresh air with a bout of childish innocence. He forgot to fear a being who could make it snow in October. After all, Uepi WAS Uepi and nothing could change the fact that they would never be apart again. Yes. No? In between? Indecisiveness was always his flaw.
Snowflakes drifted steadily, but never melted, as if waiting to pile up. Junno caught one on his hand - it felt cold, but remained solid. “Snow that doesn’t melt…” he laughed, “didn’t we all wish for this when we were kids?”
“You’re such a child…” Ueda laughed genuinely for the first time in days. Junno’s very presence seemed to wash away every speck of trouble in his life. “Sometimes I wonder if your brain is wired correctly - aren’t you even going to ask me what I am?”
Junno looked back at him incredulously. “Why would I? It won’t make a difference.”
And maybe that was the correct answer.
“So you’re fine with all of this?” Ueda incredulously, “No complaints that I tried to kill you? No questions about why I’m not human? No being your idiotic self? What if I told you right now that my adoptive father is Lucifer and that his best friend is a giant toy panda? Would that make your expression change?”
The corner of Junno’s mouth twitched.
His eyes twinkled.
And before they knew it, both men were holding their stomachs, laughing so loudly that their breathing turned into shallow gasps. Snow piled up on every surface of their surroundings, and even though it never melted, Junno didn’t feel a tinge of cold in his thin hospital pyjamas.
“HAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Junno hardly had time to breathe, “HE’S ACTUALLY GOT A GIANT STUFFED PANDA?!?!”
“….You ask the most irrelevant questions!” Ueda ruffled Junno’s hair, “The main point is that I’m not human, okay?”
“Anyone who can make I snow in October isn’t human… Especially with wings, ne?” the injured man reached out and stroked a feather, “I can see them more clearly than I used to be able to… Yours and Nishikido-san’s. Yours has changed colour…”
“Well done Mr Obvious.” Ueda said no more as he wheeled Junno along the straight hospital paths lined with fiery maples. The tinge of white on their leaves looked out of place but so beautiful.
He stopped below a particularly big one.
“Hey Junnosuke,” he whispered as if afraid to be heard, “Can I ask you something?”
“Only my parents use my full name when they’re pissed off with me~” Junno whined, “but yeah sure, what?”
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
Junno cocked his head adorably and pondered. “…Nope,” he decided, “can’t say that you have, not outright anyway. It’s okay though, I know you’re not the type of person to write love poems and everything…”
“Is that why you refuse to stay by my side?” the angel enveloped his lover in a hug from behind, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. “Don’t look at me,” he ordered, “…don’t look at… me.”
“I think… that everything will be okay,” Junno reached up and stroked Ueda’s copper locks without looking back, “I’ll stop trying to make you go away if you stop feeling guilty okay? I’m sure with my brains and your looks, we can make our way just fine.”
“Did you seriously say that you had brains?” Ueda couldn’t resist a chuckle, “Then why did you reject me with a ring?”
“I love you…” Junno sounded embarrassed and hid a blush, “that idea was stupid but I swear I’ll never be like that again!”
“Promise that you’ll never lie to me, keep things from me, attempt to cook, press colourful buttons in my house, get groped by your idol friend, forget to take care of your own health and always have a smile on your face then we’ll have a deal,” the angel reeled off the list like he’d been planning it. “And if I ever catch you flirting with anyone I swear I’ll rip out their-
Wordlessly, Junno turned his head, grabbed Ueda’s hair and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Tongues intertwined, the pair explored every part of their hot, wet caverns with vigour. Only when panting for breath did they draw apart.
Ueda had tears streaming down his red eyes.
What am I doing? I shouldn’t be here… saying all of this… I’m going to leave him, aren’t I? Yes, that’s right, I was going leave in a week. On an extended holiday.
But he’s so warm…
“Thank you baka Junno,” he smiled, “I just wanted to hear it…. I… just…. I’ll fix your leg even if it kills me… So… See… I mean goodbye.” The last sentences came out in choked stutters as he tore himself from Junno’s wheelchair and proceeded to walk away without looking back.
“WHAAAAT?!” Junno looked horrified, “THIS ISN’T SOME JOKE!!! YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY PLAY SUCH A CRUEL PRANK ON ME!!! I KNOW I WAS AN IDIOT BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I- I MEAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?! I DON’T WANT MY LEGS!! JUST YOU!!!”
Every desperate words struck like flints in Ueda’s heart. The words he never wanted to be affected by… they echo. They pierce. They burn like hot embers in Hell.
Another black feather dropped.
“I do love you,” he said through gritted teeth, “So goodbye.”
I will heal you… no matter what it takes. I’m fixing the shit I started. Even if you have to forget me.
“YOU MAKE NO SENSE!!!” Junno’s pleading voice resounded through the lines of trees, “I’M SORRY!! PLEASE SAY THIS WAS YOUR JOKE!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!! STOP WALKING!!! PLEASE!!! I’M SORRY UEPI I REALLY AM!!!!”
You need not apologise… I do. Don’t look back Tatsuya… Don’t look back or you’ll never get the guts to do what’s right.
In a frenzy, Junno forgot about his right leg and pushed himself from the chair, crumbled and fell into the snow with a thump. “Uepi!! Please… Don’t…” He pulled himself up, towards the walking figure of the man he loved. He didn’t understand how walking away could solve anything about his leg, and even if it did, Taguchi Junnosuke didn’t WANT his legs. He didn’t want his LIFE.
If the one thing that mattered was walking away from him, what did it even matter?
Another figure with black wings appeared beside Ueda.
“Ryo,” the angel whispered, “put him to sleep.” Do it before I break…
The liquid shadow vanished and appeared next to the human instantly. He bent down, looked at Junno in the eyes and uttered a final curse. “Defluo.”
Defluo… Disappear… Flow away… I love Latin.
Eyes glassy, Junno went limp, unconscious in the snow that had finally decided to melt.
A.N. DON'T KILL MEEEEE THERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER AHEAD BUT IF YOU MUST RANT TO ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK AT WRITING ANGST DO IT NOW.
lol but all is not lost, i swear to every diety!!!
And kissing him.
“WHAT PART OF ME ISN’T BETTER THAN HE IS?!”
The words shocked both of them.
“… What do you mean… Ryo?” Tatsuya trembled. He didn’t need any more confusion in his life… but they always find him like a jinx.
No turning back now…
“…I mean this.”
The black-wing threw Tatsuya roughly onto the couch and trapped the smaller angel under himself in an instant. Without thinking, he dipped his head and crashed their lips together.
Tatsuya felt violated when a hot tongue forced its way into his mouth. It didn’t feel right. Whatever Ryo was on, it couldn’t go on…
Junno…
He bit down hard but Ryo winced at the pain and didn’t retreat. Both angels tasted metal.
It was only then that Tatsuya realised Ryo’s seriousness.
I’ve never registered him as the heir to Hell before… But this domination, this aggression, is in his blood. How could I have not noticed his feelings all along? Oh. Like I didn’t notice Junno’s… I’m such an idiot!
At the end, it was the look of pure fear in his eyes that caused Ryo to pull back, wiping his sore mouth with the back of his hand. Almost in tears of frustration, he had to hold back from taking his friend right then and there. “…Can’t you look around you?” his angry voice changed into a pleading one, “I can offer you so much more! Why do you stick to that idiot like glue? Was that kiss unpleasant? Can you not think this over?! SURELY I’M LESS ANNOYING TO YOU THAN TAGUCHI JUNNOUSKE!!” He hardly recognised his own screaming voice. If Hell’s minions ever saw him like this, he might as well give up on his Satanic job forever.
“…I’m sorry Ryo, but you’re just a friend,” Tatsuya stated firmly, “my best friend, but I have a clear line. I’m sorry for not being able to feel the same way, but if you try that again, I’ll kill you.”
Huh… I expected no less. What was I even hoping for? That Tatsuya would accept me with open arms? Ryo you imbecile. He’s not a normal White… Of COURSE he’d threaten to kill you. Yes. That was to be expected.
He couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt though.
“You’re right,” Ryo said flatly, “I was out of line. Sorry.”
I’m really sorry Tatsuya… Plan: Initiate.
“I’ll help you,” he lied, “to get your magic back. It might take a while, but I swear on my soul that I’ll get it done in two days - let this be my way of loving you.” He tried to put the best pained look on his face. “In the meantime, why don’t you go to the hospital and see him? I need to clear my head…”
A simple smile. “Thank you Ryo.”
It melted his heart.
[Hospital]
Passer-by glanced over their shoulder at the gorgeous man who was sitting with his knees tucked under his chin outside a VIP suite room.
The drive to the hospital was a blur in his memory, as Ueda was too busy thinking of ways he could bring Junno to accept him again, but it didn’t strike him until he touched the cold metal door handle of Junno’s hospital room that it was near impossible.
For one, Junno had been the one to openly suggest they stop seeing each other in the first place.
Aaaah what should I even say if I go in there and see him? “Your opinion doesn’t matter, we love each other so we have to be together!”?
Sounds like a BL manga! I will not reduce myself to uttering such lines…. No I won’t!
….Okay. Maybe something modified… Something cooler.
“Sir?”
Ueda nearly had a heart attack as someone placed their hand on his shoulder. “GYA!! WHO- WHAT- WHERE- THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”
He lashed around only to find the bespectacled eyes of a startled head nurse staring back at him. “Umm.. Aren’t you the gentleman from before? Are you still looking for Taguchi-sama? This is his room…”
Perfect. A yaoi fangirl to make my day better!
Before Ueda could react, the nurse pulled open Junno’s door with a grin on her face. “TAGUCHI-SAMA~ THE MAN WITH THE COPPER HAIR IS FINALLY HERE TO SEE YOU!!!! SHOW US SOME LOVING!!!”
The angel’s jaw dropped to the floor as he tried to make a hasty retreat, only to be picked up by the scruff of the neck and thrown like a rag doll into the room. Rolling head over heels a few times after point of impact, Ueda landed at the foot of Junno’s bed.
Junno looked more shaken than he was. It wasn’t every day that your nurse throws your ex-boyfriend into your room with a bleeding nose, expecting you to make-out.
“Good day err, Ueda-san,” he stammered, awkwardly scrunching the sheets under him. It was difficult to find the right words. The same man was dumped by him, and had tried to kill him with gleaming red eyes less than three days ago.
“Hello,” Ueda picked himself up off the floor and gave the head nurse a shrivelling glare. “Before we begin, can all resident yaoi fangirls remove themselves from LIFE in general? And clean up the nose blood from my clothes, preferably before you rot in hell?!”
Junno’s crisp giggle made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
“Hahahaha…” the tall man covered his mouth with his hands, “I was worried about you Uepi, but it looks like you’re still okay…”
“I’m NOT okay!” Ueda fumed, “Nothing good ever comes my way when I’m dealing with you- I mean, no… It’s not like you bring me misfortune or anything geez! You’d have to be a right idiot to think that I hate you or anything… because you know… er.. What I mean by all of this is….”
“Ue…pi?” Junno smiled forlornly, “We’ve been through this, remember?”
Tears began to flow without Ueda even realizing it. “I KNOW!!! YOU IDIOT!!!” he tried to control his emotions, “I’m here to tell you that I won’t take no for an answer! You still love me right?! Then your opinion doesn’t matter! Being together is what counts and I didn’t realize how much of I lucky bastard I was before I lost you! I’m sorry for not being nicer to you, paying attention to you and everything! I demand another chance!!!”
He clapped his hand over his mouth.
Shit… I went ahead and said it! I sound like a BL manga… God no… He’ll just look at me with those big eyes and reject me again…
“Why…” Junno shook his head, “…Why does it have to be me?”
“Because you’re the definition of perfect… No matter what you are,” Ueda reached forward and fluffed Junno’s hair for the first time in too long, “Stop trying to act responsibly when you’re just a brat. Be mine Junnosuke, be nobody’s but mine. With you, I can work miracles… I’ll fix you.”
Is the same demon who tried to kill me? Never mind - it’s time I trusted my instincts….
He let go of his thoughts like a summer kite. “Miracles…” Junno grabbed Ueda’s arms and yanked him into an embrace. He buried his face in Ueda’s clothes, taking in his scent, his life, everything, like it was about to fade away. His instincts never failed him. “Miracles… Can you make it snow?”
Somewhere, Ryo logged off his app for the last time and snapped his fingers.
Fluffy, white specks of cotton candy fell from the sky languidly like it was the right season. Snow in October… a true miracle.
Junno’s eyes grew wide as out of the corner of his vision, a snowflake flew into his room through a window. “U-Uepi… s-snow… in October… Who are you?”
Tatsuya looked at the phenomenon outside, and mouthed ‘thank you’ to the Heavens. “Shh… don’t ask about it,” he placed a cold finger onto Junno’s lips, “we should go outside, ne?”
Previous misgivings were like they never existed. Tatsuya did not want to question it either… He had a week - all he was focused on was his week.
“Son, are you sure you should be doing this?” the panda sat at the foot of Ryo’s bed and whispered. It was smaller this time, about the size of a bedside lamp, but equally ridiculous speaking in Lucifer’s voice.
“Go away Dad!” Ryo threw a pillow at the toy, “You said unscrupulous methods are good! If this were a Manipulation exam paper, I’d pass with flying colours! I feel bad enough lying to Tatsuya, I don’t need some old guy in a panda nagging on my conscience!”
“It bothers ME that you have evolved a conscience,” the panda plodded forwards so that it was standing on Ryo’s stomach, “that junk DNA should be left turned off!”
“Stop sounding high and mighty when you’re a fucking stuffed panda!” the black-wing groaned, “it’s for his own good! I’m trying to save him from those Whites!”
“I think you want his body even if you can’t get his soul,” Lucifer jumped on Ryo like a trampoline and suddenly transformed himself to lead in mid-air.
“OWWWW!!!!” the black-wing howled as a 30-kg mass squashed him, “LEAVE YOUR KID ALONE!!!! FUCKING FAT METAL PANDA!!!”
“Kids these days just don’t listen to wise old Satans in their rebellious stage…” the panda dodged an incoming bout of destructive magic that tore a molten hole in the wall, “Do what you will then Ryo… but remember: Hell is fair. I’d say right now the only decent thing you’ve done since you came to Earth was hack Heaven’s database, get their technicians fired and make Tokyo snow in October… Does that sound like a happy ending to you?”
Ryo swore silently to himself. It’s not like I’m doing this to cause Tatsuya pain… I just don’t want him to make any stupid decisions that might kill him! What’s wrong with that?!
It didn’t take much effort into sweet-talking the head nurse into lending Junno a wheelchair to go outside with. All she needed was a kiss between them, although Ueda politely refused a photograph.
Junno breathed in the fresh air with a bout of childish innocence. He forgot to fear a being who could make it snow in October. After all, Uepi WAS Uepi and nothing could change the fact that they would never be apart again. Yes. No? In between? Indecisiveness was always his flaw.
Snowflakes drifted steadily, but never melted, as if waiting to pile up. Junno caught one on his hand - it felt cold, but remained solid. “Snow that doesn’t melt…” he laughed, “didn’t we all wish for this when we were kids?”
“You’re such a child…” Ueda laughed genuinely for the first time in days. Junno’s very presence seemed to wash away every speck of trouble in his life. “Sometimes I wonder if your brain is wired correctly - aren’t you even going to ask me what I am?”
Junno looked back at him incredulously. “Why would I? It won’t make a difference.”
And maybe that was the correct answer.
“So you’re fine with all of this?” Ueda incredulously, “No complaints that I tried to kill you? No questions about why I’m not human? No being your idiotic self? What if I told you right now that my adoptive father is Lucifer and that his best friend is a giant toy panda? Would that make your expression change?”
The corner of Junno’s mouth twitched.
His eyes twinkled.
And before they knew it, both men were holding their stomachs, laughing so loudly that their breathing turned into shallow gasps. Snow piled up on every surface of their surroundings, and even though it never melted, Junno didn’t feel a tinge of cold in his thin hospital pyjamas.
“HAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Junno hardly had time to breathe, “HE’S ACTUALLY GOT A GIANT STUFFED PANDA?!?!”
“….You ask the most irrelevant questions!” Ueda ruffled Junno’s hair, “The main point is that I’m not human, okay?”
“Anyone who can make I snow in October isn’t human… Especially with wings, ne?” the injured man reached out and stroked a feather, “I can see them more clearly than I used to be able to… Yours and Nishikido-san’s. Yours has changed colour…”
“Well done Mr Obvious.” Ueda said no more as he wheeled Junno along the straight hospital paths lined with fiery maples. The tinge of white on their leaves looked out of place but so beautiful.
He stopped below a particularly big one.
“Hey Junnosuke,” he whispered as if afraid to be heard, “Can I ask you something?”
“Only my parents use my full name when they’re pissed off with me~” Junno whined, “but yeah sure, what?”
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
Junno cocked his head adorably and pondered. “…Nope,” he decided, “can’t say that you have, not outright anyway. It’s okay though, I know you’re not the type of person to write love poems and everything…”
“Is that why you refuse to stay by my side?” the angel enveloped his lover in a hug from behind, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. “Don’t look at me,” he ordered, “…don’t look at… me.”
“I think… that everything will be okay,” Junno reached up and stroked Ueda’s copper locks without looking back, “I’ll stop trying to make you go away if you stop feeling guilty okay? I’m sure with my brains and your looks, we can make our way just fine.”
“Did you seriously say that you had brains?” Ueda couldn’t resist a chuckle, “Then why did you reject me with a ring?”
“I love you…” Junno sounded embarrassed and hid a blush, “that idea was stupid but I swear I’ll never be like that again!”
“Promise that you’ll never lie to me, keep things from me, attempt to cook, press colourful buttons in my house, get groped by your idol friend, forget to take care of your own health and always have a smile on your face then we’ll have a deal,” the angel reeled off the list like he’d been planning it. “And if I ever catch you flirting with anyone I swear I’ll rip out their-
Wordlessly, Junno turned his head, grabbed Ueda’s hair and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Tongues intertwined, the pair explored every part of their hot, wet caverns with vigour. Only when panting for breath did they draw apart.
Ueda had tears streaming down his red eyes.
What am I doing? I shouldn’t be here… saying all of this… I’m going to leave him, aren’t I? Yes, that’s right, I was going leave in a week. On an extended holiday.
But he’s so warm…
“Thank you baka Junno,” he smiled, “I just wanted to hear it…. I… just…. I’ll fix your leg even if it kills me… So… See… I mean goodbye.” The last sentences came out in choked stutters as he tore himself from Junno’s wheelchair and proceeded to walk away without looking back.
“WHAAAAT?!” Junno looked horrified, “THIS ISN’T SOME JOKE!!! YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY PLAY SUCH A CRUEL PRANK ON ME!!! I KNOW I WAS AN IDIOT BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I- I MEAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?! I DON’T WANT MY LEGS!! JUST YOU!!!”
Every desperate words struck like flints in Ueda’s heart. The words he never wanted to be affected by… they echo. They pierce. They burn like hot embers in Hell.
Another black feather dropped.
“I do love you,” he said through gritted teeth, “So goodbye.”
I will heal you… no matter what it takes. I’m fixing the shit I started. Even if you have to forget me.
“YOU MAKE NO SENSE!!!” Junno’s pleading voice resounded through the lines of trees, “I’M SORRY!! PLEASE SAY THIS WAS YOUR JOKE!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!! STOP WALKING!!! PLEASE!!! I’M SORRY UEPI I REALLY AM!!!!”
You need not apologise… I do. Don’t look back Tatsuya… Don’t look back or you’ll never get the guts to do what’s right.
In a frenzy, Junno forgot about his right leg and pushed himself from the chair, crumbled and fell into the snow with a thump. “Uepi!! Please… Don’t…” He pulled himself up, towards the walking figure of the man he loved. He didn’t understand how walking away could solve anything about his leg, and even if it did, Taguchi Junnosuke didn’t WANT his legs. He didn’t want his LIFE.
If the one thing that mattered was walking away from him, what did it even matter?
Another figure with black wings appeared beside Ueda.
“Ryo,” the angel whispered, “put him to sleep.” Do it before I break…
The liquid shadow vanished and appeared next to the human instantly. He bent down, looked at Junno in the eyes and uttered a final curse. “Defluo.”
Defluo… Disappear… Flow away… I love Latin.
Eyes glassy, Junno went limp, unconscious in the snow that had finally decided to melt.
A.N. DON'T KILL MEEEEE THERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER AHEAD BUT IF YOU MUST RANT TO ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK AT WRITING ANGST DO IT NOW.
lol but all is not lost, i swear to every diety!!!