Trope Fics, Part Two
These fics are from the Death Trope. Oh dear.
Alas Poor Yorick
Penny had managed to get through the rest of the battle after Sheldon had gone missing because she had complete faith that he would come through it.
She picked her way over the battlefield, checking corpses and tending to those who still had a fighting chance at life. Those who didn’t were accorded mercy and quickly dispatched before the wolves could come.
She had passed by the remains of so many friends and loved ones, even the body of her cyng, but she had remained stoic and determined. She had her faithful steward Raj-he had been serving her family for as long as she’d been alive, and was like her brother-by her side and she knew that their combined efforts would bring them to a healthy Sheldon before very long.
She was doing absolutely okay until she saw his helmet.
It was lying abandoned on the ground.
The top was smashed in and covered with blood.
Raj told her not to look ahead.
Just don’t look.
He’d take care of everything.
Penny felt her heart stop.
No.
It couldn’t be.
Not Sheldon.
Anything but that.
She cradled his helmet to her chest and sobbed brokenly.
Raj did what he had to do and came back to her, her husband’s sword in his hand. He bowed before her and presented it to her reverently.
“I am sorry Lady Penny.”
She let out one last choking sob before angrily wiping her eyes and getting shakily to her feet.
“What do we do now, my Lady?”
“Make those Viking bastards damn sorry they ever showed their ugly faces in Maldon.”
Black Death
It was the third month of the Great Pestilence.
It had been three months since he had left the house. For his part, he had not been idle. He’d been working on a cure.
Sheldon Cooper was the only person in the realm of Albion who had a natural immunity to the sickness.
Still, he wasn’t taking any chances.
Penny had not left the house either. She had been eager to see to her family in their final days, but he would not risk her leaving. He’d lost all his friends, save Leonard, who had gone to the tropics for his health and was safe. He would not lose Penny too.
The first buba appeared on a Thursday morning.
He’d have three days at most to perfect the cure.
She was strong, thank Galen. Otherwise, the disease would more than likely already have taken its awful toll.
By Saturday night, she was covered in bubas and her skin was bleeding of its own accord.
He finished his work on Sunday morning.
Penny was six months in recovering, but she slowly did regain her health.
The Great Pestilence passed, and, thanks to Sheldon, the vast majority of the sick were healed. He was sure that this was only good insofar as this particular manifestation of the disease was concerned but still, it was a breakthrough.
“You know, sweetie, being that close to death was a pretty enlightening experience,” she said to him one evening at supper.
“Just as long as you don’t turn into a nutter like that Margery Kemp, Penny.”
Laughter had rung through the house for the first time in a long time.
Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie
It’d been four weeks since Sheldon’s Meemaw had died.
It’d been three weeks since the reading of her will.
It’d been two weeks since Penny and Sheldon had begun the crazy scavenger hunt that had led them to the destination that Meemaw had wished to be buried at.
They’d been in Casablanca for one week now. They’d scattered Meemaw’s ashes at the coast the day before and now they were taking the time to rest before they had to catch their flight home in three days.
Sheldon was still not up to doing much of anything-his grandmother’s death had devastated him-Penny had at least convinced him to take a walk with her among the grounds of their hotel.
It was a lovely place. It looked like something from Old Morocco, and the grounds were extensive to say the least.
They came upon a reflecting pool and decided to sit on a nearby bench for awhile.
“Thank you for coming with me, Penny. I could not have done this without you by my side.”
“Aw, you’re welcome sweetie.”
She rested her head against his shoulder and was pleasantly surprised when he put his head on top of hers.
“If you don’t mind my asking, how come Meemaw wanted to be buried here?”
“She and Papa went to see ‘Casablanca’ on their very first date, and they were married and had their honeymoon here.”
“That’s so romantic.”
They were quiet for a while. There was just the sound of the wind in the trees and the distant din of the market.
“There’s a showing of the film at the Imperial Theater tonight, Penny. Would you like to go with me?”
“Sweetie, it’s a date.”
Dead Man's Chest
She hadn’t meant to kill Howard.
Really.
But what is a girl supposed to do when she’s all alone in her kitchen and there’s suddenly a hand on her shoulder?
She’s supposed to whack whoever it is over the head with a frying pan, right?
She hadn’t even thought to nor had time to check for a pulse. She was pretty sure he was dead; he wasn’t moving anyway. She didn’t want to go to jail.
She was too pretty for jail!
The knock had sounded on her door before she could come up with a course of action.
Knock knock knock
“Penny.”
Knock Knock Knock
“Penny.”
She did the only thing she could do. She scooped Howard up and dropped him into the old trunk that she kept in the corner. She slammed the lid down and went to answer the door.
Knock Knock Knock
“Penny.”
She opened the door and plastered a smile to her face. Hopefully, Sheldon would be too busy lecturing her about whatever it was he was knocking on her door for to notice the crazed look she was sure she had in her eyes.
“Penny, is everything alright? I sent Wolowitz over to see if you wanted to join us for dinner, and then I heard a scream. Has he been inappropriate with you?”
“Nope! He was a peach! Just fine!”
“Ah.”
There was a beat.
“Where is he?”
“He uh…had to leave?”
“Why?”
“His mother called. Something about bunions.”
Sheldon made a disgusted face.
Then he noticed the trunk in the corner. There was a bit of lavender fabric sticking out from underneath the lid. He sighed heavily.
“Penny, how many times do I have to offer to do your laundry? You don’t have to shove it into this old trunk. Just let me do it,” he huffed, heading over to the corner.
Oh no.
Ohnoohnoohnoohno!!!
This was it. She was going to jail.
She had to think of something quick, before Sheldon opened the trunk.
“NO!”
He jumped at her outburst.
She ran over and sat down on the lid.
“You really don’t want to open this up, sweetie.”
“Penny, I have seen you with Cheetos in your hair. Surely whatever you have in here can’t be that bad.”
He looked at her suspiciously.
“Of course…that’s the same shade of lavender as the shirt that Howard was wearing today…” he trailed off and his eyes got huge.
“Oh Penny, you DIDN’T. Violence is never the answer! How badly did he hit on you? You’re not going to do away with me as well?”
He began to back away slowly.
“Sheldon, I swear I didn’t mean to! He snuck up on me, and I swung the frying pan before I could even think, and then…and then…”
And then Penny began to cry.
Sheldon began to pace.
“We have to call the police; explain that it was an accident. I’ll vouch for you if you promise not to kill me too.”
Before their crazy could develop any further, there was a pained groan from inside the trunk.
“Oh thank God.”
Penny slumped to the floor in relief and Sheldon went to open the lid.
“Well, at least we’ll have a good story when we get him to the emergency room,” Sheldon quipped lamely.
It would be two months before Howard spoke to either of them.
Exit Pursued by a Bear
Sheldon couldn’t believe it.
They’d finally done it.
They’d finally defeated Leslie Winkle.
He and his team had come through a Forest of Death, a very inconvenient swamp, had run away from a particularly vicious and determined bear, and had solved the Sphinx’s riddle.
And now, his greatest enemy was prostrate at his feet, conceding the title of Superior Being to him and begging for her life.
Sheldon had known all along that he could not strike the final blow. He’d just been counting on his teammates, or at least one of them, to be able to do it. He didn’t want any actual blood on his hands.
Howard fainted at the sight of blood.
Raj’s selective mutism had him cowering in a corner, so he was unfit.
Leonard was no good either. Leslie would use her wiles to seduce him again and then they’d all be lost.
Penny was a good hunter, and she had no problem taking down a full grown buck by herself, but she knew that she could never actually harm another human being.
Sheldon just had to stall until they could come up with something.
Luckily, they didn’t have to wait very long.
The same bear they had faced down earlier came barreling into the clearing, and this time it only had eyes-er, teeth? Yes, let’s go with teeth-for Leslie.
She ran off into the trees with the bear hot on her heels and was never seen again.
They preferred not to think about what had more than likely become of her.
Famous Last Words
This was it, their final Age of Conan Quest.
Penny and Sheldon had been playing nonstop since Valentine’s Day. Leonard and Raj were still abroad, and Howard would come nowhere near them since he didn’t want to get sick as well. They’d really had nothing else to do, so they’d played the game and were slowly recovering.
Meanwhile, Sheldor and Queen Penelope had taken over everything that they could get their hands on. It was easy to do, when you only took bathroom and sleeping breaks. They’d eaten right at their keyboards.
Sheldor threw himself in front of Queen P, taking a death blow for her.
“NO!”
Sheldon huffed in irritation.
Penny continued on at his insistence. He’d be helping her along anyway at the keyboard
“Aw, is the little lady upset because I killed her lover boy?” a mocking voice came in over the head set.
It was the last thing that little hobbit ever said. Penny kicked it with her enchanted boots and then it was no more.
And now, they only had one more Dark Elf left to vanquish before…
“YES!”
“HUZZAH!!!!”
They each did their own little victory dance on their respective ends of the couch and tossed their headsets into the air, bubbly with their accomplishment.
After they’d settled down some, they tucked into a couple of bowls of soup and discussed the fun they’d had.
“You know sweetie, I gotta say, this has been the best Valentine’s week ever.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”
“Surprisingly enough, I’ve also enjoyed your company. You must have wanted to spend the holiday with Leonard though.”
Penny snuggled closer to him on the couch.
“Well, if I couldn’t be with my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day, at least I got to be with someone I love very much.”
Sheldon wrapped their blankets more snugly around them.
“This may be the residual effects of the fever talking, but I love you as well Penny.”
They stayed together and slept on the couch that night.
Goodnight, Sweet Prince
Penny was pretty sure that this was their last stand.
The Crimson King’s army was advancing, ten thousand strong, and there was little hope for victory for the Line of Eld.
They were holding the fort at Gilead. Roland had reclaimed the land as his own, but, being the last gunslinger meant that he had a lonely time of it. Thankfully, the hobbits, elves, and wizards had come to lend a hand.
Penny didn’t think it would be enough though.
At least she had Sheldon by her side. They’d come through many a trial together, so as long as they had each other, she could put on a brave face and meet whatever was coming.
. . .
She and her champion met the oncoming horde with valor and determination.
Sometimes though, these things are not enough.
A nasty orc struck Sheldon down about three hours into the battle.
Penny dragged him away to a relatively secluded location and resolved to stay with him until it was over. He would not be dying alone. Not today.
She laid his head in her lap and stroked his matted, tangled hair back from his forehead. He hadn’t cut it since they’d been through the Time Vortex and left Pasadena far behind them.
She remembered how neat he used to keep it, and how simple everything had once been.
She began to cry in earnest.
“Don’t.”
His voice was just barely audible.
“Don’t cry, Penny. You need to be strong. There may be a chance yet. You just have to keep fighting.”
“Sheldon honey, we both know there’s not going to be any victory today. The Tower’s going to fall.”
“No. We didn’t do it right this time. There’s going to be another attempt yet.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I can feel reality fraying as we speak.”
“We’re not gonna remember this, are we?”
“With any luck, no.”
“I still don’t want you to go.”
She cradled him in her arms and cried, resting her forehead against his.
Sheldon hushed her and she brushed her lips against his softly.
“Goodnight, Sweet Prince.”
“Penny, now is hardly the time to be quoting Shakespeare.”
He didn’t say anything else after that.
Penny kissed him one last time, and laid him down on the ground, arranging his shield and sword as was fitting a warrior.
She left her own weapons behind and allowed herself to be swallowed by the angry horde, hoping that he had been right about another chance as conscious thought left her.
Alas Poor Yorick
Penny had managed to get through the rest of the battle after Sheldon had gone missing because she had complete faith that he would come through it.
She picked her way over the battlefield, checking corpses and tending to those who still had a fighting chance at life. Those who didn’t were accorded mercy and quickly dispatched before the wolves could come.
She had passed by the remains of so many friends and loved ones, even the body of her cyng, but she had remained stoic and determined. She had her faithful steward Raj-he had been serving her family for as long as she’d been alive, and was like her brother-by her side and she knew that their combined efforts would bring them to a healthy Sheldon before very long.
She was doing absolutely okay until she saw his helmet.
It was lying abandoned on the ground.
The top was smashed in and covered with blood.
Raj told her not to look ahead.
Just don’t look.
He’d take care of everything.
Penny felt her heart stop.
No.
It couldn’t be.
Not Sheldon.
Anything but that.
She cradled his helmet to her chest and sobbed brokenly.
Raj did what he had to do and came back to her, her husband’s sword in his hand. He bowed before her and presented it to her reverently.
“I am sorry Lady Penny.”
She let out one last choking sob before angrily wiping her eyes and getting shakily to her feet.
“What do we do now, my Lady?”
“Make those Viking bastards damn sorry they ever showed their ugly faces in Maldon.”
Black Death
It was the third month of the Great Pestilence.
It had been three months since he had left the house. For his part, he had not been idle. He’d been working on a cure.
Sheldon Cooper was the only person in the realm of Albion who had a natural immunity to the sickness.
Still, he wasn’t taking any chances.
Penny had not left the house either. She had been eager to see to her family in their final days, but he would not risk her leaving. He’d lost all his friends, save Leonard, who had gone to the tropics for his health and was safe. He would not lose Penny too.
The first buba appeared on a Thursday morning.
He’d have three days at most to perfect the cure.
She was strong, thank Galen. Otherwise, the disease would more than likely already have taken its awful toll.
By Saturday night, she was covered in bubas and her skin was bleeding of its own accord.
He finished his work on Sunday morning.
Penny was six months in recovering, but she slowly did regain her health.
The Great Pestilence passed, and, thanks to Sheldon, the vast majority of the sick were healed. He was sure that this was only good insofar as this particular manifestation of the disease was concerned but still, it was a breakthrough.
“You know, sweetie, being that close to death was a pretty enlightening experience,” she said to him one evening at supper.
“Just as long as you don’t turn into a nutter like that Margery Kemp, Penny.”
Laughter had rung through the house for the first time in a long time.
Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie
It’d been four weeks since Sheldon’s Meemaw had died.
It’d been three weeks since the reading of her will.
It’d been two weeks since Penny and Sheldon had begun the crazy scavenger hunt that had led them to the destination that Meemaw had wished to be buried at.
They’d been in Casablanca for one week now. They’d scattered Meemaw’s ashes at the coast the day before and now they were taking the time to rest before they had to catch their flight home in three days.
Sheldon was still not up to doing much of anything-his grandmother’s death had devastated him-Penny had at least convinced him to take a walk with her among the grounds of their hotel.
It was a lovely place. It looked like something from Old Morocco, and the grounds were extensive to say the least.
They came upon a reflecting pool and decided to sit on a nearby bench for awhile.
“Thank you for coming with me, Penny. I could not have done this without you by my side.”
“Aw, you’re welcome sweetie.”
She rested her head against his shoulder and was pleasantly surprised when he put his head on top of hers.
“If you don’t mind my asking, how come Meemaw wanted to be buried here?”
“She and Papa went to see ‘Casablanca’ on their very first date, and they were married and had their honeymoon here.”
“That’s so romantic.”
They were quiet for a while. There was just the sound of the wind in the trees and the distant din of the market.
“There’s a showing of the film at the Imperial Theater tonight, Penny. Would you like to go with me?”
“Sweetie, it’s a date.”
Dead Man's Chest
She hadn’t meant to kill Howard.
Really.
But what is a girl supposed to do when she’s all alone in her kitchen and there’s suddenly a hand on her shoulder?
She’s supposed to whack whoever it is over the head with a frying pan, right?
She hadn’t even thought to nor had time to check for a pulse. She was pretty sure he was dead; he wasn’t moving anyway. She didn’t want to go to jail.
She was too pretty for jail!
The knock had sounded on her door before she could come up with a course of action.
Knock knock knock
“Penny.”
Knock Knock Knock
“Penny.”
She did the only thing she could do. She scooped Howard up and dropped him into the old trunk that she kept in the corner. She slammed the lid down and went to answer the door.
Knock Knock Knock
“Penny.”
She opened the door and plastered a smile to her face. Hopefully, Sheldon would be too busy lecturing her about whatever it was he was knocking on her door for to notice the crazed look she was sure she had in her eyes.
“Penny, is everything alright? I sent Wolowitz over to see if you wanted to join us for dinner, and then I heard a scream. Has he been inappropriate with you?”
“Nope! He was a peach! Just fine!”
“Ah.”
There was a beat.
“Where is he?”
“He uh…had to leave?”
“Why?”
“His mother called. Something about bunions.”
Sheldon made a disgusted face.
Then he noticed the trunk in the corner. There was a bit of lavender fabric sticking out from underneath the lid. He sighed heavily.
“Penny, how many times do I have to offer to do your laundry? You don’t have to shove it into this old trunk. Just let me do it,” he huffed, heading over to the corner.
Oh no.
Ohnoohnoohnoohno!!!
This was it. She was going to jail.
She had to think of something quick, before Sheldon opened the trunk.
“NO!”
He jumped at her outburst.
She ran over and sat down on the lid.
“You really don’t want to open this up, sweetie.”
“Penny, I have seen you with Cheetos in your hair. Surely whatever you have in here can’t be that bad.”
He looked at her suspiciously.
“Of course…that’s the same shade of lavender as the shirt that Howard was wearing today…” he trailed off and his eyes got huge.
“Oh Penny, you DIDN’T. Violence is never the answer! How badly did he hit on you? You’re not going to do away with me as well?”
He began to back away slowly.
“Sheldon, I swear I didn’t mean to! He snuck up on me, and I swung the frying pan before I could even think, and then…and then…”
And then Penny began to cry.
Sheldon began to pace.
“We have to call the police; explain that it was an accident. I’ll vouch for you if you promise not to kill me too.”
Before their crazy could develop any further, there was a pained groan from inside the trunk.
“Oh thank God.”
Penny slumped to the floor in relief and Sheldon went to open the lid.
“Well, at least we’ll have a good story when we get him to the emergency room,” Sheldon quipped lamely.
It would be two months before Howard spoke to either of them.
Exit Pursued by a Bear
Sheldon couldn’t believe it.
They’d finally done it.
They’d finally defeated Leslie Winkle.
He and his team had come through a Forest of Death, a very inconvenient swamp, had run away from a particularly vicious and determined bear, and had solved the Sphinx’s riddle.
And now, his greatest enemy was prostrate at his feet, conceding the title of Superior Being to him and begging for her life.
Sheldon had known all along that he could not strike the final blow. He’d just been counting on his teammates, or at least one of them, to be able to do it. He didn’t want any actual blood on his hands.
Howard fainted at the sight of blood.
Raj’s selective mutism had him cowering in a corner, so he was unfit.
Leonard was no good either. Leslie would use her wiles to seduce him again and then they’d all be lost.
Penny was a good hunter, and she had no problem taking down a full grown buck by herself, but she knew that she could never actually harm another human being.
Sheldon just had to stall until they could come up with something.
Luckily, they didn’t have to wait very long.
The same bear they had faced down earlier came barreling into the clearing, and this time it only had eyes-er, teeth? Yes, let’s go with teeth-for Leslie.
She ran off into the trees with the bear hot on her heels and was never seen again.
They preferred not to think about what had more than likely become of her.
Famous Last Words
This was it, their final Age of Conan Quest.
Penny and Sheldon had been playing nonstop since Valentine’s Day. Leonard and Raj were still abroad, and Howard would come nowhere near them since he didn’t want to get sick as well. They’d really had nothing else to do, so they’d played the game and were slowly recovering.
Meanwhile, Sheldor and Queen Penelope had taken over everything that they could get their hands on. It was easy to do, when you only took bathroom and sleeping breaks. They’d eaten right at their keyboards.
Sheldor threw himself in front of Queen P, taking a death blow for her.
“NO!”
Sheldon huffed in irritation.
Penny continued on at his insistence. He’d be helping her along anyway at the keyboard
“Aw, is the little lady upset because I killed her lover boy?” a mocking voice came in over the head set.
It was the last thing that little hobbit ever said. Penny kicked it with her enchanted boots and then it was no more.
And now, they only had one more Dark Elf left to vanquish before…
“YES!”
“HUZZAH!!!!”
They each did their own little victory dance on their respective ends of the couch and tossed their headsets into the air, bubbly with their accomplishment.
After they’d settled down some, they tucked into a couple of bowls of soup and discussed the fun they’d had.
“You know sweetie, I gotta say, this has been the best Valentine’s week ever.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”
“Surprisingly enough, I’ve also enjoyed your company. You must have wanted to spend the holiday with Leonard though.”
Penny snuggled closer to him on the couch.
“Well, if I couldn’t be with my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day, at least I got to be with someone I love very much.”
Sheldon wrapped their blankets more snugly around them.
“This may be the residual effects of the fever talking, but I love you as well Penny.”
They stayed together and slept on the couch that night.
Goodnight, Sweet Prince
Penny was pretty sure that this was their last stand.
The Crimson King’s army was advancing, ten thousand strong, and there was little hope for victory for the Line of Eld.
They were holding the fort at Gilead. Roland had reclaimed the land as his own, but, being the last gunslinger meant that he had a lonely time of it. Thankfully, the hobbits, elves, and wizards had come to lend a hand.
Penny didn’t think it would be enough though.
At least she had Sheldon by her side. They’d come through many a trial together, so as long as they had each other, she could put on a brave face and meet whatever was coming.
. . .
She and her champion met the oncoming horde with valor and determination.
Sometimes though, these things are not enough.
A nasty orc struck Sheldon down about three hours into the battle.
Penny dragged him away to a relatively secluded location and resolved to stay with him until it was over. He would not be dying alone. Not today.
She laid his head in her lap and stroked his matted, tangled hair back from his forehead. He hadn’t cut it since they’d been through the Time Vortex and left Pasadena far behind them.
She remembered how neat he used to keep it, and how simple everything had once been.
She began to cry in earnest.
“Don’t.”
His voice was just barely audible.
“Don’t cry, Penny. You need to be strong. There may be a chance yet. You just have to keep fighting.”
“Sheldon honey, we both know there’s not going to be any victory today. The Tower’s going to fall.”
“No. We didn’t do it right this time. There’s going to be another attempt yet.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I can feel reality fraying as we speak.”
“We’re not gonna remember this, are we?”
“With any luck, no.”
“I still don’t want you to go.”
She cradled him in her arms and cried, resting her forehead against his.
Sheldon hushed her and she brushed her lips against his softly.
“Goodnight, Sweet Prince.”
“Penny, now is hardly the time to be quoting Shakespeare.”
He didn’t say anything else after that.
Penny kissed him one last time, and laid him down on the ground, arranging his shield and sword as was fitting a warrior.
She left her own weapons behind and allowed herself to be swallowed by the angry horde, hoping that he had been right about another chance as conscious thought left her.