Emotional Warfare
So here is that start of probably the first of many ravings about my parents. Anyways, here I go.
I've been thinking about what I wanted for a tattoo ever since I turned 18, my 23 birthday is on monday, so I've been contemplating for awhile. My best friend was going to get one (yesterday) and I wanted to get one as well. I looked at some BIG ones that would cover almost all of my calf. I showed my mom some of these, I was extremely excited about them. And all she did was give me this weird look and was like "Don't you think you should start with a smaller one first?"
I mean, this was a valid point, but I thought it was kind of like telling me I couldn't handle it or something. I've chickened out a few times, but everyone does that. Anyways, I started looking for a smaller tattoo because I figured that she was right, even if her delivery was somewhat shady. I ended up picking out a ladybug tattoo about the size of a nickel. Ladybugs are good luck, and I'd talked about getting one on my left hand (ring hand) someday. Well, I decided that was where I was going to put it. My mom did NOT like this idea at all, but I thought it was cool and different. She tried to talk me out of it, but I went through with it anyways, though I almost chickened out again. My mom got a rose added to the tattoo she already had on her ankle.
After I got it, we went to a town fair, and met up with some friends, they all loved it. When I got home, I went to pick Kadence (my english bulldog) up at my parents house, and I showed my dad. He was all like: "That's not real............What made you get it there?..............That's a wierd spot for a tattoo..........Why did you get a ladybug?" All with this blank stare that I get ALL the time and absolutely hate. It's my body and my life, but they are still trying to control my every movement and decision. They smother me.
I was content with my tattoo until my dad's comments and my mom's indifference. It made me feel like I would regret it someday. I talked to Sloane, my bff, and she said that they are really harsh to me, sometimes without my even noticing. My fiance says the same thing. They have both been really supportive of me. This is what Dusty, my fiance, said to me when I asked if he thought I would regret my tattoo (he has 5) "Every tattoo has a meaning to the person who has it. Even if you end up not loving it, you will always remember why you chose it in the first place."