Our initials are S and M... Coincidence?
Well, as I look back through my past relationships, I wonder at what point did I become so submissive? Or is it that my partner now is more to my style, and therefore it's easier for me to surrender my control?
I know that I used to be a very "distance" person. Meaning, I wanted my personal space, and that was that. I still enjoyed hugs and kisses to be sure, but I was also quite content to just sit with someone, rather than hang all over them. Through the years, I've honed my "Back Off" look well, and it's served its purpose. At one point, I was going out with a guy who just wouldn't back off, and that ended things rather quickly. I wasn't the kind of person who wanted to be hung all over, and I still am. For the most part....
When Seth and I actually get to see each other, we always have a great time together. We can talk and laugh like normal, but we have the wonder of being in close proximity too, so we can play and mess around in a less innocent way. When we're alone, things can get really heated, but it's not like we spend every waking hour (and a few of the sleeping ones too) groping each other. When we're in the company of others, it's very comfortable. He holds me, and kisses me lightly. When we are walking, we hold hands. It's casual, but you can tell we're MFEO.
So why then, am I so submissive when it comes to him? Although perhaps, I should clarify....I'm only submissive when we're alone. I'm not really one to just give in to his every whim...actually, I doubt I will ever be that kind of person. I'm too independent to be like that. Normally, though, I'm a very independent, confident woman, and I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind, or how I feel. I can tell Seth anything, but when he's in the mood, it can be difficult to resist his charms. Not that I want to mind you. I'm quite pleased with his ability to charm me out of my stilettos! AND I finally found someone who won't allow me to steamroller him when I get going on my tangents, or random debate arguments. He can put me in my place when I'm feeling bitchy and catty, so I see that as a good thing.
But then he goes and contradicts himself. lol, he's very good at reminding me that he loves me, and somehow that love humbles me. Maybe it's the fact that I know what his family is like, and declarations of affection seem to be sparse. Oh sure, they adore one another on a regular basis, but I have yet to hear anyone say it.....but anywho....his love for me makes me feel calm, and special, and I know that he means it almost every time he says the words. (Sometimes he's being sarcastic with "The Guys") So, while it's very humbling, he can make my heart soar with the simplest comment. A tiny, heartfelt compliment, and I'm like putty in his hands. Does that make me vain, and weak?
Vain, maybe...but then I'm only human.
Weak: Definitely NOT! I rejoice in my ability to make him happy, and that's really all I want to do. Make him happy.
So, perhaps, it's not that I'm a submissive person by nature. More to the point is, I simply want him to be happy, and those feelings are being exemplified as a somewhat submissive behavior on my part.
Plus I just love it when he gets all sexy and bossy with me! <3