Well....
We went to Galveston for vacation over the Memorial Day weekend- of course, we had to get there several days beforehand in order to avoid the crowd getting there, and we held up in our rental until the crowd left, so we could venture about the week afterwards to enjoy the city.
I know that sounds crazy- why rent over the weekend if you came out to play before and after?
Answer- I don't know.
I guess I like to people watch from my window- which I can understand may seem a bit creepy,
but my Sweet Baboo went with us, and he also likes to people watch.
He's the one that brought binoculars.
And I realize two creepys don't make a normal person- but we had fun anyways.
We rented the seawall house- which was major expensive, but my Sweet Baboo helped foot the bill.
It was perfect!
We all stayed in the same place, ate together, played together, and had our own space as well.
The place did have ghosts, though.
Ya know- I'm soooo glad my Sweet Baboo, GG, doesn't make fun of me when I tell him I sense ghosts, or felt something, or saw something....
He has supernatural experiences as well, and he doesn't just write them off as nonsense.
I noticed the toilet paper running low in our bathroom, so I went down the stairs, in the middle of the night, in the dark, to get an extra roll.
As I descended the staircase, I saw GG standing over the railing near the top of the stairs.
I figured he was just keeping an eye on me, making sure I was okay. I thought it was sweet.
I grabbed the roll and when I looked up again- he was gone- so I figured he knew I was okay and went back to bed.
But when I went back up and joined him, I asked if he was keeping an eye on me- and he said he wasn't.
"Sorry. Should I have?"
I sat up and asked him if he was standing over the railing- just now- while I went to the bottom of the stairs to get the toilet paper?
He said he'd been in bed the whole time.
He asked if I was sure it was me- it could have been [my son].
I told him- no.
It's true- I didn't get a clear look- and I can't be absolutely, positively, and completely sure it was GG.
It was dark and the light from the street came in the window from behind the figure that I naturally assumed was GG.
Or someone shaped like GG.
That's why I believed it to be him.
He took me in his arms and held me tight.
"Are you scared?" he asked. "Did you get a creepy feeling from it?"
"No," I answered. "A feeling that someone was watching over me and making sure I was okay."
"Then, I guess they're good ghosts watching out for us," he said.
And we fell asleep in each others arms.
The next night, though, he said he got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and he saw me, with his own two eyes, that I was asleep and still. But when he got into bed, something shook his side of the bed, grabbed his foot and shook it.
He was awake!
He swears it.
And he knew it wasn't me- so, he simply said, "Yep. We have ghosts."
It was wonderful that he was with us this year.
I can't wait until next year!
I don't think my kids believe me when I tell them GG is my true love.
And always has been.
I knew he loved me in high school, but being awkward teens- we just didn't do anything about it.
"You say that about everyone!" they claim. "Everyone you've ever gotten involved with."
That may be true- but GG was the original one.
The original 'Impossible' one.
You have to understand- I didn't really think he'd want anything to do with me.
He loved me- I was sure of that- but I also knew something stopped him from pursuing me.
Something was blocking him- I was sure of it.
And I ran a list in my mind of all the things that prevented him from revealing his true feelings to me- and this was it:
I was lower on the financial ladder. We lived in the low income neighborhood, he was from the wealthy one.
In the cultural ladder. He's white, I'm Mexican/American.
It might have been for political reasons- he's extreme religious right and I'm the last liberal in Texas.
Religious reasons- he's a Methodist- I'm a Catholic.
Heck- his dad was a Colonel in the Air Force- mine was Sergeant in the Army.
I was out-classed and out-ranked!
I just knew there was no way- NO WAY his parents would have allowed their son to go out with low-life like me.
(And we're not even gonna scratch the surface of drugs, sex, and skipping out of school.)
And so- I figured that was it.
But since getting together at the high school reunion- with him not calling and breaking my heart, and me pestering him via email, and then, getting together for dinner, and his sending me the music from Godzilla and Gargantua movies, and finally his sending 'Forever Autumn' which made my heart soar, and me telling him it felt like his took me in his arms for a sweet embrace and that the only problem I had with that is that I didn't want him to let me go....
He sent me this email back in October which finally broke the ice that stood between us for over thirty years:
'...I was an immature, oblivious and naive fool 32 years ago. I knew you had a crush on me...but I had no clue how to deal with it. I thought maybe if I somehow reciprocated, I might be rejected. So I kept up my uber-cool facade. And I have regretted it ever since. I am so very sorry. I think I hurt you and that brings me a lot of pain to this day, because I would never want to hurt you. Ever. I never in my wildest imagination thought I would ever be able to tell you this. Time sometimes has a way of magnifying our regrets. I truly hope I can make amends with you and get a second chance.'
And when I told him my fears, my insecurities, and my assumptions that I just 'wasn't good enough' that kept us apart-
he apologized for allowing such negative thoughts to fester inside me for so long.
"I can tell you, right now, that you were WAY too good for me. And my parents would have loved you- almost as much as I do."
Which quickly calmed my fears- but to be quite honest- I still don't feel like I'm good enough for him.
I don't think I ever will.
That one is dug in too deep.
So, I have to make it as a successful writer, in order to feel that I'm on somewhat equal standing with him.
Somewhat.
I made a lot of stupid mistakes in the past.
I hooked up with or tried to hook up with the wrong men- simply to have a man.
I lowered my standards time and time again before I decided enough was enough, and gave up on love for the past ten empty years of my life.
And I can see, now, that it was all for good reason.
If I'd known that GG would have been at the end of that long, dark tunnel that was my life up to now-
I would gladly go through it all again.
So, my advice to anyone who suffers some sort of emptiness or longing in their lives- I say, have faith.
It will come.
And it will be better than you could have ever imagined.
Have faith.