Dragon update. 15/15
Title: Goodbye Bob
Rating: Not Intended for Children (Adult Language)
Fandom: Bandom/Dragonriders of Pern crossover (posted for bandom_pern)
Pairing: Bob/Spencer
Warnings: none
Words: 3185
Summary: It's time for Spencer to go home. Almost.
Previous Ficlets in the Series: 1. Bob, 2. Spencer, 3. Brendon, 4. Brian, 5. Bob Again, 6. Greta, 7. Spencer Again, 8. Miloth, 9. Bob Once More, 10. Brendon Visits, 11. Spencer and Bob, 12. Greta and Brian, 13. Bob and Spencer, 14. Greta (and Spencer).
Goodbye Bob
Bob leant his head back and swung it slowly from side to side. He waited to hear his neck crack and pop and then rolled his shoulders a few times before opening his eyes. The metal stopped hissing where it was resting in the cold water, so he put his heavy wherhide gloves back on and grabbed the tongs to pick the long blade up and push it back into the kiln.
He could hear Spencer's voice float in from the square. He sounded pretty relaxed, so Bob guessed he was talking to Greta or Brian. Miloth was asleep, soaking up the sun. Bob couldn't hear her sleeping mind, the way he would have been able to hear Dradineth's, but he could still hear that she wasn't awake.
The pain of thinking about Dradineth ached as much as it ever did, but he the edge was not as sharp where it pressed in against his lungs. He sucked in a deep breath, pushing the loss back down to sit heavy in his stomach like it always did.
He didn't let himself think about how the Weyr Healer was coming today to check Miloth's wing out. He didn't let himself think about how soon Miloth wouldn't be there to hear at all. About how Spencer wouldn't be there. Because right now, in this moment he felt pretty good. He wanted to enjoy that.
Spencer laughed. Definitely Greta then. Bob leant to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of them.
He heard whispering behind him and turned around to see what the apprentices were doing instead of cleaning up like he'd told them to. Young Marshall’s eyes bugged out as he saw him and bumped into the other two. It took Bob a moment to work out what was making him look so surprised.
Bob was smiling.
He clamped his lips shut and scowled at them.
“Hurry up,” he growled. “Stop pretending to work and do something for real.”
“Yes, sir.”
The other apprentices were still making, ‘Did you see that?’ faces at each other and trying to look like they weren't.
Fuck.
“Get out of here. Come back after lunch and finish up. Useless the lot of you.”
“Yes, sir!” They shoved past each other out the door.
Shells. Bob was never going to intimidate any of those little shits again if he stood around all soppy faced like a sun-struck wherry.
That's what he got for spending the last two sevendays getting laid, and turning into some kid with a crush who sat around talking about his feelings. Bob took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was going to enjoy what he could get.
Greta’s words from the previous day were still ringing in his ears. “Nothing is forever. Letting go of the pain doesn’t mean letting go of the memories. Looking forward to something new doesn’t mean you don’t care about what has been.”
She could be fierce when she wanted to be. Not that that had lasted very long. She had pretty much gotten his attention and then held him up as he fell to pieces. It was pretty embarrassing to think back on it. And it had gotten worse before it had gotten better. Bob would feel worse about that if it hadn’t ended up so well.
At first he had struggled against listening to her, too caught up in feeling angry about how much it was going to hurt to say goodbye. Again.
He was so damn sick of losing stuff. People. Love.
“Stop pushing us all away. You nearly missed out on something really special, with Spencer and with Miloth, and you’re going to do it again!”
He had glared with all the anger he had and she hadn’t backed down.
“You can miss your dragon and still be happy now!”
“Dradineth,” he had hissed at her. Saying his name out loud had felt like a knife going through his gut. “That was his name.” How could she have known him for so long and not known that? He knew the answer. It was because he had never told her.
“Dradineth,” she had repeated, softly.
Fuck. Hearing that in her voice had been the moment he’d started to crumble.
Brian had ushered a wary Spencer in through the door just as Greta had put her hand on his face, and whispered, “Oh, Bob.”
Bob felt a little ripple in his awareness just a moment before he heard Miloth bugling a welcome. She had obviously been woken up by the arrival of the two other dragons that landed in the courtyard. His usual reaction to hearing dragons arriving was to drop everything and retreat to the inner rooms of the Hall. Today Bob felt bouyed up on the positivity carrying over from the previous day, from the night spent in bed with Spencer. He was also really curious to see Spencer interacting with other riders. He’d only seen him here, out of his element, and except for the day that his friends had come for the Gather, surrounded by strangers.
Even though he knew he wanted to, it still took a while for Bob to build up the nerve to go down to the Dining Hall.
He sat up the back away from the main table. He didn’t have to lean too far to get a clear view of Spencer, and spent most of the time watching him up there laughing and looking comfortable, even pretty excited, to see his Wing Leader and the Weyr Healer. When Wentz stood up to officially thank Brian and the Hall for their hospitality Spencer looked around until he found him. Bob’s heart was pounding in his chest hoping that everyone didn’t turn to see what the Dragonrider was looking at.
Thank you for being here. You are brave and strong.
One of the things that Bob had missed more than just about anything, was the way his dragon had known him without judgement. He missed the way he had been able to live without putting up a front, because someone saw straight through it anyway.
Lunch seemed to go on forever. Bob waited in the shadows, working up the courage to walk up and greet the Dragonriders. He knew Wentz back when he was at the Weyr. They never flew on the same wing, but Pete had been friends with some of the riders he knew. Bob had heard that he was now weyr mates with an old friend of his from his Harper Hall days. He knew that it would mean a lot to all of them if he could just go up and be polite. He didn’t have to aim at friendly, he could just settle for being there.
He took a big breath, and pushed away from the wall that he’d been leaning on.
Hemmenth says that he knew your Dradineth. Miloth sounded pleased and warm. His rider would like to greet you.
Bob’s breath got clogged up in his throat. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk up to these people who had known who he was, and would see what he no longer was. These riders who had their dragons. Who had known his beautiful Dradineth and mourned him when he went Between.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Spencer’s head turn in his direction as he pushed his way past the people blocking his way to the door. As soon as he was out of the dining hall he couldn’t help but start to run, up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
It took a while for Bob’s heart to slow down and for him to feel like he could take a deep breath without throwing up. He sat on his bed and stared at his hands until they stopped shaking, all the time aware of Miloth talking to the other dragons, and of the buzz of excitement in the hall created by having the visitors there.
In a little while, Miloth would be getting checked out by the Healer to see if she was fit to fly. And then they would go home. Not forever. Hopefully.
Spencer meant it when he said that he would visit. Of course he did. He had gotten up in Bob’s space, reminding him that dragons travelled Between in the space of three heartbeats. That there was no reason this had to be a final goodbye.
“Unless you want it to be, Bryar! Is that what you want?”
But Spencer was young, and this had been a pretty intense time for him. He wasn’t to know how he’d feel once he got back to the Weyr. Got back into his old routines, saw all his friends. Until Miloth rose to mate...
Bob wasn’t going to think about that. Not today. (Possibly not tomorrow either. But he would have to soon enough.)
When he felt calm, he went back to the workshop. It seemed stupid to just sit in his room and mope. All the apprentices were hanging around in the square watching the dragons and not getting anything done, which suited Bob just fine. Last thing he wanted was them all watching him and whispering. As if he couldn’t hear every damn word they said to each other.
Miloth was letting him hear her responses to the Healer but didn’t seem to be expecting him to respond to her. Bob let himself get caught up in the rhythm of polishing some blades for a harvester. Something that would occupy him without needing his total concentration. He heard the hush fall on the square as Spencer and Miloth prepared to attempt to take off. He heard the reassurance and love that Miloth directed at Spencer as she raised herself up, ready to leap into the air, and he heard the excitement and exultation as she unfurled her wings and started to fly.
The other dragons bugled triumphantly at her and a cheer rose up from the onlookers.
We fly! We fly!
Miloth’s tone was happy and free. Bob had to see. He dropped the metal blade and ran to the window. There they were up in the sky. The two other dragons were following her, staying close. Miloth glided in a large circle.
I feel strong. There is no pain! she assured them all.
After only a few minutes they started to usher her down lower, preparing to land. The Healer would have been recommending caution. He wouldn’t want her to strain herself the first time in the air after so long.
But we just got off the ground!
Miloth continued to resist, and Bob chuckled at her reluctance. Her mental voice grumbled and complained a little more before someone said something to convince her to follow their directions and come down to the ground.
Bob watched her land, a little less than gracefully than she might have hoped, and looked on as Spencer jumped down and then was swept up in a hug from Wentz, and then the Weyr Healer. Greta was there and held him for a moment before he turned and leant in against Miloth’s neck.
Bob walked away from the window and picked up the blade again and got back to work.
He couldn’t tell how much later it was when he heard the farewell as the dragons left and the rumble of people returning to the buildings. He had a moment of panic that Spencer had left with the others, but then realised that he could still hear Miloth. And of course remembered that Spencer wasn’t going to do that. Miloth wouldn’t have let him, for a start. A humourless laugh pulled itself from his mouth, echoing around the workshop.
My Penth is happy. I am happy. It is a good day.
“I am happy for you both. It’s awesome,” he told the air. He knew she heard him.
He could hear footsteps approaching. Bob wiped at his face, not sure if there were actually any tears, but not surprised to find his cheeks wet. He turned back to his task.
“Knock, knock?” Spencer peered around the door at him. He smiled when he saw Bob and pushed the door shut behind him.
“So...” he walked over, all casually sexy and offhand. Bob knew that meant that he was nervous. Bob liked that he knew him well enough to see that, though he wasn’t sure why Spencer would be nervous. “Got the go ahead. Which. Of course you know already.”
Bob just nodded. His hand reached out all on its own, and hooked around Spencer’s arm, pulling him closer. Spencer stood up a little taller and looked more sure of himself.
“I told Pete I need an extra couple of hours. You know, to pack.”
“You don’t need to pack. You didn’t really bring anything with---”
Spencer raised his eyebrow and was looking at him like he was an idiot.
“Oh. Okay.” Bob nodded. “Got it.”
He put his other hand on Spencer’s hip, using all his self control to not let the fingers dig right in to hold on. He tilted his head back a little, needing the distance to focus clearly on Spencer’s face, thinking how this could be the last time he was this close to him.
Spencer sighed. “I’m still here, Bob. Come on.”
He tried for a smile, not wanting to do anything to put a damper on Spencer’s excitement.
“You should kiss me now.” Spencer leant forward, shuffling one foot forward, in between Bob’s boots. “In case you’re wondering what happens next.”
So he did.
Bob concentrated on the feel of Spencer’s tunic under his hands. The way he could feel him breathe in and out, the way his hair slid through Bob’s fingers as he pushed his hand up to cradle Spencer’s head. He tilted to one side, sliding his lips along Spencer’s jaw.
Someone walked past the room and Bob pulled back. Fuck. Last thing he needed. They’d managed to go this long without someone seeing them. He didn’t need to be walked in on on his last day.
“Oh,” Spencer sounded short of breath. “Forgot to tell you, Brian gave you the rest of the day off. He said that you should probably just go to your room and rest or something.”
“Oh he did, did he?”
“Yeah. Something about whatever you needed, just make sure not to traumatise any apprentices. He doesn’t want to deal with Holders horrified at what their poor offspring have had to witness.”
“So you tell me this now? We could have been lying down for this.”
“First. I just wanted...”
“What, Spence?” Bob was pretty sure he’d give Spencer anything he wanted right now.
Spencer took him by the hand and lead him out of his room, and down the stairs. They both instinctively dropped hands when someone came past, but instead of leaving it, Spencer picked his hand up again as they rounded the wall out of view of the Hall. It was nice for Bob to know that Spencer wanted to keep on touching him while he could, too.
Miloth greeted them as they approached her ledge where she lay soaking up the sun, preparing for her trip Between.
Spencer wrapped his arm around Bob’s shoulders and pressed his lips behind Bob’s ear, then pushed his face hard against his neck and took a breath.
“Come fly with me, Bob. With us.”
Bob froze. He imagined being up in the air. He imagined being on a dragon and he wanted it so much he couldn’t breathe. But along with the longing was the realisation that it wouldn’t be Dradineth. It wouldn’t be flying him.
“Miloth. She’s not ready--”
“It’s how I convinced her to take it easy on our first flight. I didn’t want her to tire herself out and not be able to take you up later.”
“I don’t think I can... I just...”
Miloth’s great eye was right there, whirling a vibrant blue. She turned her head to look at Bob. I will keep you safe. And my Penth will be with you. And you can remember Dradineth and you can still be with us. And you can fly.
Spencer didn’t push. He bit his lip, and he played with his hair, and he shifted his weight from side to side, but he didn’t push Bob. They stood there for a moment that stretched out into minutes and then more minutes again. And Spencer waited. And Miloth waited, her breath whuffling the dust at Bob’s feet.
“I want to.” Bob knew that his answer still sounded like a question. He wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself just to say, “yes”.
Miloth nuzzled at him, and then pressed against his last remaining resistance.
Please?
Spencer climbed up onto Miloth’s neck. His arm was free of the sling, but still awkward to manoeuvre and he had to buckle himself in one-handed. When he was settled he reached down to help hoist Bob up.
Bob stared at Spencer’s hand, and then up into his face. Bob breathed, and wondered, how had this ever become his life? He was just some dude from a farming Hold who hoped one day to be able to learn the drum codes and communicate with people from other parts of the planet. Now he was an ex-Dragonrider, who was getting a second chance to fly.
He didn’t want to pull too hard on Spencer’s arm, so he stepped up onto the foreleg that Miloth put out for him, and swung himself up and into position. The muscle memory kicked in as he fitted himself in behind Spencer. Miloth’s hide was warm through Bob’s clothes. It felt so achingly familiar. A hundred images flashed through his mind, of times he’d sat astride a dragon. In the memories the hide beneath him wasn’t green, but a rich deep blue, and the ground was further away. And he thought about how he could never let those memories go, he would never stop missing his dragon, his Dradineth, as long as he lived. And he thought about how much he wanted to keep on living. How he didn’t want those memories to stop him any more.
Miloth’s voice rumbled through her body. She crooned reassuringly at him, but didn’t comment when he buried his face into Spencer’s shoulder, reminding himself to just keep breathing. He wrapped his arms around Spencer’s waist. Not because he was worried that he would fall, but to just feel how Spencer was alive and real and here.
They lifted off. Bob could feel the bunching of the muscles through Miloth’s shoulders unfurling her enormous wings to take the vital first downward stroke as she pushed into the air. And they were flying.
Bob was flying. On a dragon. Again.
~
Epilogue
Thankyou to maple_mahogany and reni_days for the read throughs and to barmy_bunk for the beta.
Disclaimer: The Pern universe and the world, creatures and customs that belong to it remain the intellectual property of Anne McCaffrey, and the characters referenced in this piece are fictional representations of real people. No offense or infringement is intended, and no profit is being made.
Rating: Not Intended for Children (Adult Language)
Fandom: Bandom/Dragonriders of Pern crossover (posted for bandom_pern)
Pairing: Bob/Spencer
Warnings: none
Words: 3185
Summary: It's time for Spencer to go home. Almost.
Previous Ficlets in the Series: 1. Bob, 2. Spencer, 3. Brendon, 4. Brian, 5. Bob Again, 6. Greta, 7. Spencer Again, 8. Miloth, 9. Bob Once More, 10. Brendon Visits, 11. Spencer and Bob, 12. Greta and Brian, 13. Bob and Spencer, 14. Greta (and Spencer).
Goodbye Bob
Bob leant his head back and swung it slowly from side to side. He waited to hear his neck crack and pop and then rolled his shoulders a few times before opening his eyes. The metal stopped hissing where it was resting in the cold water, so he put his heavy wherhide gloves back on and grabbed the tongs to pick the long blade up and push it back into the kiln.
He could hear Spencer's voice float in from the square. He sounded pretty relaxed, so Bob guessed he was talking to Greta or Brian. Miloth was asleep, soaking up the sun. Bob couldn't hear her sleeping mind, the way he would have been able to hear Dradineth's, but he could still hear that she wasn't awake.
The pain of thinking about Dradineth ached as much as it ever did, but he the edge was not as sharp where it pressed in against his lungs. He sucked in a deep breath, pushing the loss back down to sit heavy in his stomach like it always did.
He didn't let himself think about how the Weyr Healer was coming today to check Miloth's wing out. He didn't let himself think about how soon Miloth wouldn't be there to hear at all. About how Spencer wouldn't be there. Because right now, in this moment he felt pretty good. He wanted to enjoy that.
Spencer laughed. Definitely Greta then. Bob leant to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of them.
He heard whispering behind him and turned around to see what the apprentices were doing instead of cleaning up like he'd told them to. Young Marshall’s eyes bugged out as he saw him and bumped into the other two. It took Bob a moment to work out what was making him look so surprised.
Bob was smiling.
He clamped his lips shut and scowled at them.
“Hurry up,” he growled. “Stop pretending to work and do something for real.”
“Yes, sir.”
The other apprentices were still making, ‘Did you see that?’ faces at each other and trying to look like they weren't.
Fuck.
“Get out of here. Come back after lunch and finish up. Useless the lot of you.”
“Yes, sir!” They shoved past each other out the door.
Shells. Bob was never going to intimidate any of those little shits again if he stood around all soppy faced like a sun-struck wherry.
That's what he got for spending the last two sevendays getting laid, and turning into some kid with a crush who sat around talking about his feelings. Bob took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was going to enjoy what he could get.
Greta’s words from the previous day were still ringing in his ears. “Nothing is forever. Letting go of the pain doesn’t mean letting go of the memories. Looking forward to something new doesn’t mean you don’t care about what has been.”
She could be fierce when she wanted to be. Not that that had lasted very long. She had pretty much gotten his attention and then held him up as he fell to pieces. It was pretty embarrassing to think back on it. And it had gotten worse before it had gotten better. Bob would feel worse about that if it hadn’t ended up so well.
At first he had struggled against listening to her, too caught up in feeling angry about how much it was going to hurt to say goodbye. Again.
He was so damn sick of losing stuff. People. Love.
“Stop pushing us all away. You nearly missed out on something really special, with Spencer and with Miloth, and you’re going to do it again!”
He had glared with all the anger he had and she hadn’t backed down.
“You can miss your dragon and still be happy now!”
“Dradineth,” he had hissed at her. Saying his name out loud had felt like a knife going through his gut. “That was his name.” How could she have known him for so long and not known that? He knew the answer. It was because he had never told her.
“Dradineth,” she had repeated, softly.
Fuck. Hearing that in her voice had been the moment he’d started to crumble.
Brian had ushered a wary Spencer in through the door just as Greta had put her hand on his face, and whispered, “Oh, Bob.”
Bob felt a little ripple in his awareness just a moment before he heard Miloth bugling a welcome. She had obviously been woken up by the arrival of the two other dragons that landed in the courtyard. His usual reaction to hearing dragons arriving was to drop everything and retreat to the inner rooms of the Hall. Today Bob felt bouyed up on the positivity carrying over from the previous day, from the night spent in bed with Spencer. He was also really curious to see Spencer interacting with other riders. He’d only seen him here, out of his element, and except for the day that his friends had come for the Gather, surrounded by strangers.
Even though he knew he wanted to, it still took a while for Bob to build up the nerve to go down to the Dining Hall.
He sat up the back away from the main table. He didn’t have to lean too far to get a clear view of Spencer, and spent most of the time watching him up there laughing and looking comfortable, even pretty excited, to see his Wing Leader and the Weyr Healer. When Wentz stood up to officially thank Brian and the Hall for their hospitality Spencer looked around until he found him. Bob’s heart was pounding in his chest hoping that everyone didn’t turn to see what the Dragonrider was looking at.
Thank you for being here. You are brave and strong.
One of the things that Bob had missed more than just about anything, was the way his dragon had known him without judgement. He missed the way he had been able to live without putting up a front, because someone saw straight through it anyway.
Lunch seemed to go on forever. Bob waited in the shadows, working up the courage to walk up and greet the Dragonriders. He knew Wentz back when he was at the Weyr. They never flew on the same wing, but Pete had been friends with some of the riders he knew. Bob had heard that he was now weyr mates with an old friend of his from his Harper Hall days. He knew that it would mean a lot to all of them if he could just go up and be polite. He didn’t have to aim at friendly, he could just settle for being there.
He took a big breath, and pushed away from the wall that he’d been leaning on.
Hemmenth says that he knew your Dradineth. Miloth sounded pleased and warm. His rider would like to greet you.
Bob’s breath got clogged up in his throat. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk up to these people who had known who he was, and would see what he no longer was. These riders who had their dragons. Who had known his beautiful Dradineth and mourned him when he went Between.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Spencer’s head turn in his direction as he pushed his way past the people blocking his way to the door. As soon as he was out of the dining hall he couldn’t help but start to run, up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
It took a while for Bob’s heart to slow down and for him to feel like he could take a deep breath without throwing up. He sat on his bed and stared at his hands until they stopped shaking, all the time aware of Miloth talking to the other dragons, and of the buzz of excitement in the hall created by having the visitors there.
In a little while, Miloth would be getting checked out by the Healer to see if she was fit to fly. And then they would go home. Not forever. Hopefully.
Spencer meant it when he said that he would visit. Of course he did. He had gotten up in Bob’s space, reminding him that dragons travelled Between in the space of three heartbeats. That there was no reason this had to be a final goodbye.
“Unless you want it to be, Bryar! Is that what you want?”
But Spencer was young, and this had been a pretty intense time for him. He wasn’t to know how he’d feel once he got back to the Weyr. Got back into his old routines, saw all his friends. Until Miloth rose to mate...
Bob wasn’t going to think about that. Not today. (Possibly not tomorrow either. But he would have to soon enough.)
When he felt calm, he went back to the workshop. It seemed stupid to just sit in his room and mope. All the apprentices were hanging around in the square watching the dragons and not getting anything done, which suited Bob just fine. Last thing he wanted was them all watching him and whispering. As if he couldn’t hear every damn word they said to each other.
Miloth was letting him hear her responses to the Healer but didn’t seem to be expecting him to respond to her. Bob let himself get caught up in the rhythm of polishing some blades for a harvester. Something that would occupy him without needing his total concentration. He heard the hush fall on the square as Spencer and Miloth prepared to attempt to take off. He heard the reassurance and love that Miloth directed at Spencer as she raised herself up, ready to leap into the air, and he heard the excitement and exultation as she unfurled her wings and started to fly.
The other dragons bugled triumphantly at her and a cheer rose up from the onlookers.
We fly! We fly!
Miloth’s tone was happy and free. Bob had to see. He dropped the metal blade and ran to the window. There they were up in the sky. The two other dragons were following her, staying close. Miloth glided in a large circle.
I feel strong. There is no pain! she assured them all.
After only a few minutes they started to usher her down lower, preparing to land. The Healer would have been recommending caution. He wouldn’t want her to strain herself the first time in the air after so long.
But we just got off the ground!
Miloth continued to resist, and Bob chuckled at her reluctance. Her mental voice grumbled and complained a little more before someone said something to convince her to follow their directions and come down to the ground.
Bob watched her land, a little less than gracefully than she might have hoped, and looked on as Spencer jumped down and then was swept up in a hug from Wentz, and then the Weyr Healer. Greta was there and held him for a moment before he turned and leant in against Miloth’s neck.
Bob walked away from the window and picked up the blade again and got back to work.
He couldn’t tell how much later it was when he heard the farewell as the dragons left and the rumble of people returning to the buildings. He had a moment of panic that Spencer had left with the others, but then realised that he could still hear Miloth. And of course remembered that Spencer wasn’t going to do that. Miloth wouldn’t have let him, for a start. A humourless laugh pulled itself from his mouth, echoing around the workshop.
My Penth is happy. I am happy. It is a good day.
“I am happy for you both. It’s awesome,” he told the air. He knew she heard him.
He could hear footsteps approaching. Bob wiped at his face, not sure if there were actually any tears, but not surprised to find his cheeks wet. He turned back to his task.
“Knock, knock?” Spencer peered around the door at him. He smiled when he saw Bob and pushed the door shut behind him.
“So...” he walked over, all casually sexy and offhand. Bob knew that meant that he was nervous. Bob liked that he knew him well enough to see that, though he wasn’t sure why Spencer would be nervous. “Got the go ahead. Which. Of course you know already.”
Bob just nodded. His hand reached out all on its own, and hooked around Spencer’s arm, pulling him closer. Spencer stood up a little taller and looked more sure of himself.
“I told Pete I need an extra couple of hours. You know, to pack.”
“You don’t need to pack. You didn’t really bring anything with---”
Spencer raised his eyebrow and was looking at him like he was an idiot.
“Oh. Okay.” Bob nodded. “Got it.”
He put his other hand on Spencer’s hip, using all his self control to not let the fingers dig right in to hold on. He tilted his head back a little, needing the distance to focus clearly on Spencer’s face, thinking how this could be the last time he was this close to him.
Spencer sighed. “I’m still here, Bob. Come on.”
He tried for a smile, not wanting to do anything to put a damper on Spencer’s excitement.
“You should kiss me now.” Spencer leant forward, shuffling one foot forward, in between Bob’s boots. “In case you’re wondering what happens next.”
So he did.
Bob concentrated on the feel of Spencer’s tunic under his hands. The way he could feel him breathe in and out, the way his hair slid through Bob’s fingers as he pushed his hand up to cradle Spencer’s head. He tilted to one side, sliding his lips along Spencer’s jaw.
Someone walked past the room and Bob pulled back. Fuck. Last thing he needed. They’d managed to go this long without someone seeing them. He didn’t need to be walked in on on his last day.
“Oh,” Spencer sounded short of breath. “Forgot to tell you, Brian gave you the rest of the day off. He said that you should probably just go to your room and rest or something.”
“Oh he did, did he?”
“Yeah. Something about whatever you needed, just make sure not to traumatise any apprentices. He doesn’t want to deal with Holders horrified at what their poor offspring have had to witness.”
“So you tell me this now? We could have been lying down for this.”
“First. I just wanted...”
“What, Spence?” Bob was pretty sure he’d give Spencer anything he wanted right now.
Spencer took him by the hand and lead him out of his room, and down the stairs. They both instinctively dropped hands when someone came past, but instead of leaving it, Spencer picked his hand up again as they rounded the wall out of view of the Hall. It was nice for Bob to know that Spencer wanted to keep on touching him while he could, too.
Miloth greeted them as they approached her ledge where she lay soaking up the sun, preparing for her trip Between.
Spencer wrapped his arm around Bob’s shoulders and pressed his lips behind Bob’s ear, then pushed his face hard against his neck and took a breath.
“Come fly with me, Bob. With us.”
Bob froze. He imagined being up in the air. He imagined being on a dragon and he wanted it so much he couldn’t breathe. But along with the longing was the realisation that it wouldn’t be Dradineth. It wouldn’t be flying him.
“Miloth. She’s not ready--”
“It’s how I convinced her to take it easy on our first flight. I didn’t want her to tire herself out and not be able to take you up later.”
“I don’t think I can... I just...”
Miloth’s great eye was right there, whirling a vibrant blue. She turned her head to look at Bob. I will keep you safe. And my Penth will be with you. And you can remember Dradineth and you can still be with us. And you can fly.
Spencer didn’t push. He bit his lip, and he played with his hair, and he shifted his weight from side to side, but he didn’t push Bob. They stood there for a moment that stretched out into minutes and then more minutes again. And Spencer waited. And Miloth waited, her breath whuffling the dust at Bob’s feet.
“I want to.” Bob knew that his answer still sounded like a question. He wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself just to say, “yes”.
Miloth nuzzled at him, and then pressed against his last remaining resistance.
Please?
Spencer climbed up onto Miloth’s neck. His arm was free of the sling, but still awkward to manoeuvre and he had to buckle himself in one-handed. When he was settled he reached down to help hoist Bob up.
Bob stared at Spencer’s hand, and then up into his face. Bob breathed, and wondered, how had this ever become his life? He was just some dude from a farming Hold who hoped one day to be able to learn the drum codes and communicate with people from other parts of the planet. Now he was an ex-Dragonrider, who was getting a second chance to fly.
He didn’t want to pull too hard on Spencer’s arm, so he stepped up onto the foreleg that Miloth put out for him, and swung himself up and into position. The muscle memory kicked in as he fitted himself in behind Spencer. Miloth’s hide was warm through Bob’s clothes. It felt so achingly familiar. A hundred images flashed through his mind, of times he’d sat astride a dragon. In the memories the hide beneath him wasn’t green, but a rich deep blue, and the ground was further away. And he thought about how he could never let those memories go, he would never stop missing his dragon, his Dradineth, as long as he lived. And he thought about how much he wanted to keep on living. How he didn’t want those memories to stop him any more.
Miloth’s voice rumbled through her body. She crooned reassuringly at him, but didn’t comment when he buried his face into Spencer’s shoulder, reminding himself to just keep breathing. He wrapped his arms around Spencer’s waist. Not because he was worried that he would fall, but to just feel how Spencer was alive and real and here.
They lifted off. Bob could feel the bunching of the muscles through Miloth’s shoulders unfurling her enormous wings to take the vital first downward stroke as she pushed into the air. And they were flying.
Bob was flying. On a dragon. Again.
~
Epilogue
Thankyou to maple_mahogany and reni_days for the read throughs and to barmy_bunk for the beta.
Disclaimer: The Pern universe and the world, creatures and customs that belong to it remain the intellectual property of Anne McCaffrey, and the characters referenced in this piece are fictional representations of real people. No offense or infringement is intended, and no profit is being made.