Wow - that's invasive
Did a brief glance through the forms we need to fill out for adoption. Holy CRAP there are a lot of forms and just to get started with the adoption person!!
I get a lot of the questions, but the one asking about how my early sexual experiences were - seemed a bit personal. (answers ranged from terrifying to unremarkable).
And - it asked if we had told family. I haven't told mine, with the exception of GoodSis, because I just don't want to deal with it. It feels too early in the process to be discussing it. I mean, if Baby=Getting Married - we're not even really "engaged" yet, let alone set a date.
We also have to provide people for them to talk to as references (shouldn't be too hard - I can muster up enough friends, family & coworkers for that). But gah.
Also - there is the homestudy itself - meaning the HOME study. I think our house is safe for little people. We don't have explosives/knives/poison all over the place - but at the same time, I don't have a safe crib, don't have safe toys, don't have plenty of clothes for said little person and while I have a room set aside for a little person- it's still my sewing room. Because our home is still that of GROWNUPS. No little people live here - so we're not overly concerned that this bookshelf behind me isn't bolted to the wall. And really- if we get a 5 week old baby - that whole baby-proofing thing can wait. I hung out with a 5 week old this weekend - they don't do a whole lot of moving, let alone getting into stuff.
And - the forms did mention pets. Would the pet in the home be good with a baby. I honestly believe Thatcher would be okay with a baby. After he got used to it. And after he realized that the baby is part of his family. And of course, when the baby got mobile - Thatcher would want to know he had a place to hide from the little person. Totally normal I think.
But none of that would come across in an interview.
"Here is our cat, Thatcher. He's a complete love with me, tolerates his Dad pretty well and prefers that all other people think of him like he's a lamp. Something to look at from afar and not to touch. And he's terrified of mops, brooms, vaccuums and carpet deodorizer."
How friendly does that sound??
I'm sure we're not the only people who deal this stuff. And being with our friends and their kids this weekend convinced me we WOULD be good parents. Pete is better with walking and talking little humans. But he sat on a chair yesterday morning, looking through a photo album with the four year old and the two year - deciding which dogs were "hideous monsters" and which room in the album was the room in the house.
And this morning, he showed the two year old how to work the ipad so that he(the two year old) could watch cartoons. (and that kept both kids busy for HOURS).
He didn't have a lot to do with baby James (5 weeks) though. Although our friend Jer (the dad of the munchkins) said he doesn't have a lot to do with James either really - aside from a diaper change or holding him when Mom is tired. But that's because he can't comfort James the way a Momma (with a boob) can. And he's fine with it - and his kids adore him and are just fine, normal kids.
The house was a busy, chaotic mess though - imagine a 4 year old, a 2 year old & a 5 week old - all cooped up in a house because it is WAY too cold for them all to be outside. And when James cried at 7 am - Pete turned to me and said "Are you SURE you want this?". Of course I said yes.
Because they were fun. Because Jack sat with me while I knitted a sock and asked questions. Like could he put the needle stopper things on? And could I (gently) poke him with the needle again? And could he please wind up the yarn for me? Because I teased Izzy about being a goofball and then said "No - you're watermelon!" and ran through every fruit before deciding she was probably a kumquat.
So even if they were frustrating at times (when they were fighting or when Izzy was tattling on Jack) - they were fun.
I get a lot of the questions, but the one asking about how my early sexual experiences were - seemed a bit personal. (answers ranged from terrifying to unremarkable).
And - it asked if we had told family. I haven't told mine, with the exception of GoodSis, because I just don't want to deal with it. It feels too early in the process to be discussing it. I mean, if Baby=Getting Married - we're not even really "engaged" yet, let alone set a date.
We also have to provide people for them to talk to as references (shouldn't be too hard - I can muster up enough friends, family & coworkers for that). But gah.
Also - there is the homestudy itself - meaning the HOME study. I think our house is safe for little people. We don't have explosives/knives/poison all over the place - but at the same time, I don't have a safe crib, don't have safe toys, don't have plenty of clothes for said little person and while I have a room set aside for a little person- it's still my sewing room. Because our home is still that of GROWNUPS. No little people live here - so we're not overly concerned that this bookshelf behind me isn't bolted to the wall. And really- if we get a 5 week old baby - that whole baby-proofing thing can wait. I hung out with a 5 week old this weekend - they don't do a whole lot of moving, let alone getting into stuff.
And - the forms did mention pets. Would the pet in the home be good with a baby. I honestly believe Thatcher would be okay with a baby. After he got used to it. And after he realized that the baby is part of his family. And of course, when the baby got mobile - Thatcher would want to know he had a place to hide from the little person. Totally normal I think.
But none of that would come across in an interview.
"Here is our cat, Thatcher. He's a complete love with me, tolerates his Dad pretty well and prefers that all other people think of him like he's a lamp. Something to look at from afar and not to touch. And he's terrified of mops, brooms, vaccuums and carpet deodorizer."
How friendly does that sound??
I'm sure we're not the only people who deal this stuff. And being with our friends and their kids this weekend convinced me we WOULD be good parents. Pete is better with walking and talking little humans. But he sat on a chair yesterday morning, looking through a photo album with the four year old and the two year - deciding which dogs were "hideous monsters" and which room in the album was the room in the house.
And this morning, he showed the two year old how to work the ipad so that he(the two year old) could watch cartoons. (and that kept both kids busy for HOURS).
He didn't have a lot to do with baby James (5 weeks) though. Although our friend Jer (the dad of the munchkins) said he doesn't have a lot to do with James either really - aside from a diaper change or holding him when Mom is tired. But that's because he can't comfort James the way a Momma (with a boob) can. And he's fine with it - and his kids adore him and are just fine, normal kids.
The house was a busy, chaotic mess though - imagine a 4 year old, a 2 year old & a 5 week old - all cooped up in a house because it is WAY too cold for them all to be outside. And when James cried at 7 am - Pete turned to me and said "Are you SURE you want this?". Of course I said yes.
Because they were fun. Because Jack sat with me while I knitted a sock and asked questions. Like could he put the needle stopper things on? And could I (gently) poke him with the needle again? And could he please wind up the yarn for me? Because I teased Izzy about being a goofball and then said "No - you're watermelon!" and ran through every fruit before deciding she was probably a kumquat.
So even if they were frustrating at times (when they were fighting or when Izzy was tattling on Jack) - they were fun.