The Return of Pollyanna
So then...as I was saying to Aymes Friday, things have been a bit of a crap fest in Teeville, but I'm not letting it get too me. Not really.
A few weeks ago, the Oldest Bint-in-Training comes home and informs me that our neighbor, Melvin, was to have brain surgery the next day. My reply to this was a quite serious O___o. I didn't know what was going on because I'd just spoken with his wife the day before when Paddy got shot and she hadn't mentioned a thing. Turns out, they'd found a mass on his brain quite suddenly and decided surgery would be necessary. The surgery turned into a biopsy, the biopsy to pathology reports stating he had a melanoma that had spread. It was cancer and it was stage 4. Now, some are you are likely thinking "well, Tee, that's horrible, but is this really cause to get very upset?" It is and for some very good reasons. Let me tell you about my neighbor and his wife who have, over the years, become much more than simple neighbors. Years ago, before I started college, my sister and her four kids moved into a little trailer we owned in the lot next to ours, Melvin and his wife, after hearing my sister wouldn't be able to provide Christmas for her kids, took it upon themselves to provide not only for her kids, but to give mine (who were VERY young at the time), small presents from Santa. They never admitted to doing this. They never left a card and we'd likely have not discovered the identity of our secret Santa had SOAS not gotten it out of his grandmother.
Last fall, Kay, Melvin's wife, got a new camera and decided she wanted to take pictures of my girls. They have a lovely, landscaped yard and the trees were turning and everything was simply shinning so I said sure, no problem. A few days later, Kay presents me with a book of beautiful photographs of my girls. They had on hats and gloves and posed for a tea party...and most of these pictures were framed, ready for me to hang on my wall and give away to the grandmothers.
Last Christmas Kay and Melvin wanted to get our girls something nice for Christmas. Melvin told SOAS that they'd bought the girls bikes, brand new, beautiful bikes. He had neglected to ask us about this and we'd already bought them bikes as well. So, last year, the Bints-in -Training got TWO bikes each, because yes, they are THAT spoiled. Melvin and his wife do not have children. They've been married 30+ years and spent most of their free time with one another. They are well-off, but do not flaunt it. If anyone is in need, they are there. They are givers, the kind that is very rare today. Now, the future is uncertain. Now, Kay is left to wonder and wait while she watches her husband suffer. Everyone is at a loss and very scared, very unsure. There is little we can do for them, little they will allow us to do because they aren't the sort that asks for help easily. We've gotten their mails, made Kay a prayer journal, called and stopped by just to check in on them, but I feel like it's not enough. I so wish that my prayers were stronger, that my touch would cast aside any illness, any disease. I know that is not my place, but I put my faith in God and His strength, His ability to heal, to comfort, to guide. Still, I wish there were more I could do.
On top of all of this, others I love have fallen sick. My sweet R is dealing her illness, my mom's cousin is dying from lung cancer and just last week, my sister called hysterical telling me they discovered she had an enlarged liver. By the middle of last week I had just about had it, was ready to throw my hands up and shout 'whatever, I give up,' at anyone listening. Then I remembered something Joss said. Yes, I know, silly, isn't it? My psuedo atheist spirit guide, Mr. Wheadon. But regardless of his beliefs, his words rang true and I applied them to my own personal situations, in managing how to deal, how to be strong for those that l love:
“Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that.... It's what you do afterwards that count. That's when you find out who you are.”
Finding out who we are, is sorta the point of life, IMHO. Can I be a good friend and neighbor? Can I say the right thing to those who need a comforting word? Can I eloquently pray so that God understands my level of desire for others? For the miracles they need? For the hope I beg Him to bestow? Can I be strong enough to help my ONLY sister through this time? Can I look at her, tell her the truth, and expect her to trust me? Can I endure the pain of potential loss? The answer is, I just don't know. What I do know is that all of these situations aren't about me. They are about having faith, believing that whatever life throws at us, regardless of what it is, it is nothing that God can't deliver us from. I've said it before, I'll say it again...it isn't that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle...it's that He doesn't give us anything we can't handle with Him at our sides. All we have to do is ask Him to be there.
So I will be strong, I will dilligently pray and fast if I have to in order to have a few prayers answered. What I cannot do is sit by and be depressed about all the dreadful things that are happening around me. I can't wallow in depression and despondence waiting for things to pick up. I can't obsess over the mess until it because true mess...and even then, we'll handle it. Whatever happens, we can handle it.
Randomness:
1. New job is great, but a bit boring. Our chief client is the Department of Health and Hospitals so that means I do lots of policy and procedures manuals on medicade. Woo yay. Sexy, isn't it? It is boring and I'm one of the youngest people here (everyone is so damn OLD!) but ya know what, they are really sweet people and told me I'd pretty much have to threaten homicide to get fired around here. Yay job security!
2. Oldest Bint-in-Training is giving me a hernia. Why can she not understand that just because 18 year olds act as though Halloween gives them carte blanche to dress up like ho bags w/o repercussions, does NOT mean her 12 year old butt can? *needs a valium*
3. Herself has published every Sookie short story that's ever been written. Go check it out!
4. Shannon, I love you and I am so sorry I haven't gotten back to you on either the prompts we teased about writing or your bday fic. Please be patient with me, because I promise you, I'm working on them both. Fancy reading my Calen novel in the mean time? :P
5. I keep having dreams of Hogwarts. What the hell is that about? In the last one Ginny was yelling at David Yates, like screaming, I kept saying 'I told you not to piss off the redhead.' O____o << knows how weird she is>>
6. Whorish people piss me off. If you're gonna run around with a married man, fine. But don't do it with TWO married men, one of which is about to be a Daddy. Your career is NOT that important, you ho bag. **is refering to someone who will NEVER read this and probably doesn't even know LJ exists*
7. No. I so did not spell check this blog. Shut it.
8. Zombieland was. SO. DANG. Good. NOT Shaun of the Dead good, but still very good. RIP Mr. Murray.
9. Wishes one of you bints would just tell me what happens, brief summary, after Roger and Brianna are denied their wedding so I can just get Echo and be done with it. I so don't wanna read all the pre Rev. War rubbish. <
10. I am NOT going to make it until NEXT FREAKIN YEAR before the new Tru Blood comes out. This is so not fair...I want my Eric/Sookie snogs.
Smooch,
Tee