I love you all.
The start is always the hardest part with this, because I've set in stone what's entailed with writing these. Thus, I will aptly name this a quiet self analysis, and you can all go to Hell if you don't like it. I'll respond with anger and great furor to anyone who picks my tomdickery out of this, and chastises me for going back on all of the derogatory words I've said about this particular practice. Hey, gotta start somewhere.
Alright, this is it, this is all, and all that will be, I'm Tyson, the introduction is where I'm at now, I'll start with an introduction because that's the expected linnear function that I'm supposed to follow, right after the lenthy "I'm not gay" speech at the front that I put, that you read, why did you read it, Christ you're insane, why are you still reading this? Fuck you, I don't have to answer to anyone, rebel, rebel rebel. Or no, I'm just having a little fun is all, and you're having a little fun too, slowly formulating your bits and pieces to take it down in a bloody fire of "Dude, you're gay", and setting up your counterdefenses to my apt reply of "No, dude... 'you're' gay", yeah, it'll be like that, I love it when it's like that, all simple and no pain. There was pain? Nah, not really. It's all good and you know it, that's what I get, that's what you get, drink some bleach. Okay, so what am I gonna talk about for the next hour? Hmm, let's think... I'm Tyson, remember, like I stated in the introduction, so I'll go on a long winded rant about pseudo-intellectual bullshit that nobody really cares about but makes me look smart and definitely compensates for all of the nifty little drawbacks that I've been trailing behind me. Love that, I just sounded angsty for the purpose of propagating the stereotype that everyone who writes a blog is an angsty (circa "stupid") tool who has an everlasting vendetta with their parents. Heh, Hi Ho, it's all good, stealing from Vonnegut is like that, but he doesn't care, do you bud? No? Awesome. And now, if you haven't stopped reading, my penis is 64mm in girth and it is seven and one quarter inches from the pelvis out, not that cheating way of measuring from the bottom of the testicles either... Christ I hate guys who measure like that to enlarge thier pretend penis sizes. Now!! I've alienated all of the normal people who I've talked to, let's get down to business. Heh, what I'm trying to say in my gattabout way is, I'm creating a journal to look back and laugh at when I'm of age to do so, I'm laughing now, actually, isn't that super? Of course it is, giving a self analysis of yourself while doing a self analysis is so hilariously ironic. Do you get where I'm going with this? Yeah kids, it's going to be an apathy rant. Shit, you saw that coming already? Dammit man, it was a new shirt and everything that I got ready, why must you piss on my parade? Oh, that's right, because you realise that I'm writing this out of the theory that I can do certain things to certain people with text, such as ellict some vague sembalance of worry, why further? Well of course, for attention, considering I'm an attention whore and so very needing of all of your contant. *grins* I'm lagging this out as far as I possibly can right now, just to filter out any of the dumbasses still reading. Oh, could that previous line have been a tap for keeping people reading because it's going to eventuate to something much bigger? Correct, it was, and it was also a cralt to give people false hope, ah, how I love the world and everything in it. I'm sure those eyes that flick over these words are burning with contempt as I've said these things. Okay, I'm in year twelve, I'm not sick of it, I'm actually quite content with my position, improvised content, but content nonetheless, as I don't really care much for the positions and trivialities of everyone else, I can retain the level of contentment that I hold so dear. Yeah, here comes the pseudo-intellectual part. I am Tyson, in Highschool, and I don't care about things, you've heard it, you've read it, you've had it forced down your throats from me as a giant cry for attention to make sure that you think that I'm something else, something new, but never believe it because you knew better than to think that Tyson is just another guy trying to pants as many girls as possible in as short time as possible. I love that, a lot. Heh, I love a lot of things actually.... Anyways, I'll shout a common denominator of topic... Hmm... Religion! Yeah, that's right, you guys know me as a devout athiest, complete contempt for God and all of the problems that religion has spawned around the world. Yeah... I was faking it (Sorry Shannan), I'm agnostic, I don't really know if God exists or not, and I couldn't really care. I don't care about things that don't influence me, so I get away with no stress, love that deal. Heh, what else? Oh, Politics? Who's the next bastard who's going to lead out great country into the great abyss of deficit and poverty?! Uhh... Yeah, don't care... About the bastard, or the country, or the poverty... As hypocritical as that sounds, me being a white richboy involved heavily with political debate, I really couldn't give it the time of day. Heh, if you've seen me involved with that, then you'd have noticed that I was really, really faking it... But why do I fake it? I fake it because you guys expect me to, I've set out my denominations, my personality and what not on a giant board, and made it easy for everyone to see what's going to come next. Heh. Yeah, it's a little bit fickle, but it's definitely a cool way to live, it creates far less conflict if you guys think that I actually have a personality... I don't, really... I don't want one, they're mean and they make me feel cold, like in the place where grandpa touched me as a child, won't you please think of the place where grandpa touched me? No? Good, my Grandad is actually a pretty good feller, not one who'd molest people, certainly not me, I'm a great little kid like that, wait, no, that was 10 years ago when I actually was a kid, shit, where did that go? Heh, that's right, it passed while I was typing this contrived bullshit for the sake of appealing to everyone what I "really" am. Yeah, you see the fun with that is the fact that nobody actually gives a shit what I "really" am. Heh, but I'll continue to force it down all of your throats because I believe that you all think it's terribly important to "know Tyson". Heh, I love that. I love all of you. Today is pretty great, I don't really know why, I just keep looking back and forth between the computer and my clock, even though there's one on the bottom of the screen, I'm a bit hopeless like that, but you'll get over it, because that's "just the way I am", I love that, I slowly jade people to the way I am, and then slowly start pushing the boundaries of what they would find acceptable, eventually leading them into a place where they have no choice "but" to bat me off with a stick, and then explode. Once they do that, I get off being more bruised than them, by my own fault, but I have the cause and reason to say that "they're" the insane ones. Heh, I love that. Yeah, what a teenage problem. I'm actually just joking, if I do that, it's nothing more than a test, and I still love the people who do explode, I love everyone, remember? People are the hugest underrated sources of amusement that exist, I don't know why people don't understand that a good joke and belly laugh will make them complete, but that's them and I'm me, I'm the guy who's creepy, Creepy Tyson, as dubbed by a fair deal of my grade, so I'm gonna act like it. Heh, why though, Tyson? Why would you act like a bad character just because people expect you to? Well, kids, I'm gonna act like that because it's comfortable, doesn't confuse people, and is the sum of my actions before. Heh, chain of causation much? I wear a black shirt one time in eighth grade, one person calls me a Goth, and from then on, I'm remembered as the guy who rapes children, decapitates animals and starts fights with old people, only to rape, decapitate and eat them. I love life, and all of you. Heh, A black shirt is the cause of all of my reputation to this day, because people took a simple concept, and built on it, I found myself at a loss, so I merely followed the concept because it was comfortable, and now here I am, raving about life to a brick wall, or a few specific people who know me close enough to be able to read this contrived bullshit. I love you guys, you're all nice to me. Oh, before I forget, this is "not" sarcastic, I'm not sarcastic when I say I love you all, because I really do, remember that when I'm being a dick, I'm being a dick because I'm comfortable around you, and are just slowly pushing the boundaries until the time you explode so I can call you crazy and then write that I actually still love you in a rant about how apathetic I am. FUCK YEAH! HAT TRICK, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Did see that one coming, did you? Of course you did, you know me enough by now to notice that I'm nothing more than a singularly moving train of logic and fluff, getting out of the way of other trains that would be likely to make me derail... Crux Personalities are like that. I hate not having one, but I've built a reputation that serves even better, I'm that raping, eating, killing machine of bad poetry and pretention who enjoys nothing more but stalking and decapitating young girls in the privacies of their home. *grins* I love that, it's got a nice ring to it when I want people to "go away", I don't usually want people to go away really, but it's cool to think that if they are, it's because they think I'm stone cold fucked up, which is sorta true, even though I'm not "too" bad, wouldn't you say? People gave me that reputation, if I had a personality I could probably change it, even a little bit, but hey, I don't really care too much for what would happen if I started tweaking things. Geeze, give me a break, I'm only one guy here. Heh. I love the part that I'm intentionally giving you too much to read so you'll just go "Ah, to Hell with this" and leave. Even if I know that a specific one of you is gonna read this from start to finish... Note to that person: Lost you at the penis, didn't I? *grins*. Heh, that was a bit low, but you don't care, you're nice, I like you, no, I'm wrong, I love you, I love you more than you could possibly fathom. It's great like that, just using those words feels so nice, Love, Happy, Content, Bubbly, shit man, Bubbly is such a Bouncy word, and Bouncy is such a Flamboyant word, and Flamboyant is too friggin' gay to use in common context. Heh, damn the fags for being alive, because of them I can't say flamboyant without looking over my shoulder for the person who's gonna yell "Hey, check out this FAG for being a FAGGOT and saying a FAGGY word, the FAG". Heh, that person sucks, I don't quite love them... Well... Nah, I do love them, but in a purely non-gay way, because that would be something that a FAG does. Heh, I love these little intertextual references, I learned about them in Study of Society, from my teacher who talks more than me. She did my assignment for me, what a nice woman. I love her for that, oh, and I love the people who noticed that she did it for me, because we had a great joke about it, and I love joke, they make me happy and belly laugh, which makes my day complete. I really don't have that much happy music, everything seems to be telling me to kill and rape and eat what I raped and killed... Why is eating a part of that? Why would I want to eat something I violated, that's like performing oral sex on myself. That doesn't appeal to me. I'll get someone else to do that, one of the random girls I'm trying to pants, I think. Yeah, I love them because they perform oral sex on me so I don't have to. Ah, Stan Bush - The Touch, there's a happy song, he spends the four minutes ranting about how great the listener is. Ego trip, much? Nah... Anyway, I haven't said anything self-serving or pseudo-intellectual for a while, apart from using those hyphens right there, dammit... *coughs* Yeah, so I'll go on about why being happy is the only reason to live. You see kids, there are a lot of things in life that are undesirable, living, for instance, is one of these things, because of all of the little disappointments you're sure to get from the time you start the day to the time you finish it, so why live? There's no real reason, I'm sure the world wouldn't collapse if you missed softball training, or if you weren't alive to take that Math test, or if your girlfriend dumped you, though the world would collapse if you were to bitch to everyone about it, because that would create a ripple of people bitching about people bitching to them... And then all these people would be too busy complaining to realise the Russians are launching Nuclear fucking Missles at us, and I guess we'd all die as a result of the fallout, nice going jerkwad, because you got dumped, we're all dead. Jesus, people are inconsiderate. Anyways, I digress from Russians and death and bitching, to bitch about people, Fuck I hate people, I'll have a bitch about them because I'm not sarcastic at all and nobody understands me and I'm a trapped poet. Oh wait... Shit, I have to write poems before I'm a poet... Heh, missed that part, ah well, I'll substitute it for hating my parents, so people will think that I'm a cutting edge new teenager who's happenings and living life to the extreme fullest. That's because if I hated my parents, that would give more substance to my reputation, because it would give a cause for why I rape all of those girls and kill all of those animals... It's the parents! Dammit, it's always the parents!! Heh, nah, I love my parents, they're great people, they raised me pretty well, I'm the one who started thinking all of these ZANY and CRAZY thoughts, woah, shit, my head's exploding from all of the care I'm being given from writing this. Heh, whah-oops, that's right, you all stopped reading when I kept referencing my penis and making jokes about previous girlfriends. Wait, that never happened? Shit, hey, uhh, how about Jo, right... Yeah... HA HA She's Craaaaazy, am I right?! Uhh... Yeah, those jokes don't work out so well, namely because it's beaten into the ground that I did, in fact, date a Bipolar girl who was a few screws loose of a cannon, I get it guys, I get it, I brought it upon myself, and I have no reason to ever mention her, and I generally only do to get a sympathy vote so I can pants a chick. You know, because every chick is like "Woah, you had a relationship that went badly, DO ME, DO ME TYSON, FUCK, just DO ME!" ...Yeah, I wish, that'd be great. Heh, nah, that'd be weird, it'd eliminate any of the fun in courting a random chick, so I'll just leave it to the side, "Hey baby, you got some pretty eyes, oh, and I had a bad experience with a girl, oooh yeah, my penis is seven and a quarter inches, yeah, you like that, don't you? God, please listen to me, I need attention and love, what's that, you're listening now? ...Can I live inside you? *weeps into your shoulder*" Yeah, that'd be a cool scenerio... Heh, only not really. He's a God, he's a Man, he's a Guru, isn't that right Nick Cave? Yeah, of course it is, you were the crazy ass one who said it, I'm not sure about the stacks of green paper though, we don't have any immigrants here... I'm pretty sure everyone was here before me, oh, apart from everyone here after me, but they don't quite matter. Oh yeah, what was I talking about again? I'm not too sure, but by god, I'm horny. Did you want to know that? No? Oh... Can I live inside you? No? Aww... What if I tell you I hate my parents and listen to NEW and EXCITING music while I REBEL against the cause because I'm DIFFERENT to everyone else. Heh, I love that, we're all the same, that's why I love everyone, because loving one person is exactly the same as loving another, because essentially, love is an untaxable commodity that you can give to anyone, hey, sometimes you may even get something back, in that instance, you got something for nothing, essentially because love is nothing. Wait, that wasn't my point, love "is" something. Fuck, dammit I screwed up... Don't read that, please, for the love of God, I never fucking screw up, I am Tyson, I'm fucking immortal and always right, so shove it up your fucking ass. Why did I tell you to shove facts up your ass? That's right, because you're a FAGGOT and I bet you used the word FLAMBOYANT. Didn't you? Now where was I? I forget, but I'm sure it was important... Uhh.. Think boy, think... I've talked about sex and bodily functions too long, now I'll move back to money, I don't want a lot of money, but a little would be nice, just enough to get by... I don't need too much, because then if I was to lose it, I'd have a sense of loss, and a sense of loss is never good... Don't cry because it ended, be happy because it happened! Yeah, fuck that, I'd rather it not have happened so I didn't have to lose anything, because when I lose something, I feel the need to get something back to compensate for it, just like when my granpa stopped touching me, I needed another relative to willfully molest me so I could feel wanted again, and not like some sort of awkward pubescent piece of shit that nobody wants because they're psychologically unstable. Me, Unstable? Never. I'm perfectly tip top, top of the tip, motherfucker. I cuss too much though, I gotta cut down on that, I cussed a whole lot less at the start, because people were still reading then, HA! Those poor fools, they don't know what they're missing. I'm sure they got anchored down to the places where I said the word faggot in capital letters, I find that funny, when people skim, they stop at the bolded and bigger things, not the individual interesting words. I stop every time I see a reference to sex, why? Because I like reading about it, because I'm not having it as much as I used to, oh noes, waning libido? Nah, I'm just preventing myself from spreading my seed to the four winds lately because I have bigger and better things... Yeah, that's right Tyson, make excuses, you ain't gettin' lots because you like one specific girl. Fuck, dammit, I should stop being so damned honest right after I tell a lie. Heh, that sucks, but it's all good. Dude, it's getting late, I have school tomorrow, I want to leave but I love the sound of my hands going clickety-clack on the keyboard. Heh, it's better than sleeping, but any regard, and it's a good thing to do while I wait for whatever I have to keep downloading, oh noes, hidden guilty pleasure, that's a fuckup, that's not good, I wonder if MSN Spaces will let me post this because I swear a lot... If it does, I'm gonna laugh if people actually read it, twice as much if people go "Tyson, are you okay?" or "We're here for you", because I know nobody will do that, it's cool, because I managed to think enough to piss people off right from the start so they wouldn't read this far down, and thus wouldn't realise that if they "were" giving me sympathy, I'd just be laughing going "Oh, you card, it was all a dream". You know what? You're a headcrab zombie. Do you know why I said that? I was referencing to an interesting thing I read a long time ago, really really shittily written fanfiction. I don't really like fanfiction and shittily isn't actually a word, but what'cha gonna do, homeboy? Heh, one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, still making a gain, so it's all good. Heh, why do you hide, so afraid of what you leave behind? Man, I gotta write for myself, not let song lyrics do all of the work... Are you still reading this? If you are, man, are you on ritalin? How many fucking drugs did it take you to keep at the pretentious bullshit? Yeah, anyway, apathy! ON TOPIC, ON TOPIC GUYS!!! Yeah, anyways, it's safer and happier not to care about anything, because, y'know, if you don't, then you'll never be hurt, and you'll always be happy, and the goal of life is just to be happy. I like jokes and what not, because they're free, I don't have to work for them, I don't have to spend trivial hours doing meanial tasks to hear someone in passing make an amusing comment about chickens, roads or doors.... Man, that's why life is great, and I love you all, because you're all so very, very fickle and placing value on things, when things don't really have value, and I'm a dirty hippie. Shit, I mean, You're all paying too much for things, when you could easily have just not paid, and had a long string of jokes, be just as happy, and taken up all of the time that you would have used if on what you spent your money on, plus the time you worked for it. Yeah, see how shitty I sound when I'm actually trying to make a point? This is why I like talking to myself more, because it's a lot more fluent, and I don't actually have to tell you something rather than random facts that spring to mind. They say the male mind works in a linnear pattern, while the female mind works in a networking sense, in a logistical sense... Well, Fuck you. Fuck anyone who came up with that bullshit, if I could think in a straight line, then this wouldn't have happened, I would be right up the top going "Yeah, so politics guys, pretty heavy stuff". That'd be boring though, and boredom isn't pleasurable, so you'd have to kill yourself, and I'd have to kill myself, God Fuck people, we'd end so many lives if I was mentally stable. And that'd suck, since I love life, mine and yours... So I'll stay how I am and not take the medication that my parents gave me. Oh, my parents didn't actually give me medication, they're content with my behaviour as it, because they belted me into the way I am today because they didn't believe the molestation accusations I gave my dear old sweet motherfucking son of a fucking grandfucking father who's throat I'll fucking slit after I rape and fucking eat him. FUCK! Oh, wait, that wasn't me... Anyways, shit, I kinda just scared myself, I think some semen came out. Heh, I love my life, my humor is really bad... I'm sorry for the people who're still reading, but you're fucked up, moreso than I am. Isn't it cool that who're without the appostraphy is "whore". Heh, "Whore you talking to", yeah... Females should be banned from the keys 2, 4, u, r, and z, because I'm sick as fuck of reading things girls have written that mangle the fucking English language, which is beautiful and sacred. Actually, I don't really care, I'm just ripping off a joke that I read on a site that I go to. Belly laugh time, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, that was the shit, motherfuckers, I laughed up a motherfucking storm, hardcore. *coughs* As of the time of writing this sentence, I had two thousand, eight hundred and ten characters because my space would be completely used up, I just wasted about two hundred letters just there, mad shit. Heh, anyways, I'm having a good time, it feels good to talk a lot, because conveying information is free and I don't have to work for it, and it gives me pleasure, like being a prostitute, but they get paid for what they do... Man, what a great job, apart from all of the sweaty old men and mentally unstable youths that rape them. Man, the world is pretty defunct like that, no matter where you look, there's a horror story, thirteen year old girls getting pregnant, kids blasting other kids heads', Israelis kicking Palestinian ass and Palestinians blowing Israelis up... Yeah, I'm not too good at social commentary, I'm sorry, I don't really care about it, because I have no personality, and am just a giant conglomeration of all that I have learned that's patched together much like a giant rug of HATE AND DEATH, but without the hate and death in capital letters, and more with the LOVE AND PEACE, because I love everyone, and a peaceful life is pretty dandy, hey, I have no problem with sleeping all day and checking up on the beets and dry onions I've been growing outside my cave hovel, as long as I can joke, belly laugh, and decapitate animals... That's all that life is about... This is crazy, I'm dropping below one thousand and four hundred characters... I've actually been typing for about half an hour to fourty five minutes straight, non-stop, baby, just everything that comes to the top of my head, oh, apart from the moment it took me to convert 18cm into inches for the penis calculation, because saying seven and a bit inches sounds so much bigger than eighteen centimeters, that's how I feel good about myself, and still above the guys who don't know how to correctly measure their genitals so they can post about them somewhere so they can scare off people who would be reading about all of the crap that they thought about in the space of an hour, because they felt like getting something off their chest. I love all of your guys, because that's all that matters, love, love is the only thing that matters, the only thing that matters is love. Oh yeah, and laughing, and pleasure, everything else is just dust and settles, because everyone has a right to know that I will treat them like a dog, as I shoot my venom in, because you guys know, I'm a scorpion... Of love! A lovepion, or a scorpilove. Whichever sounds better... Yeah, I didn't even get to say all of the things I wanted to say about my completely edgy topics... But at least now I can say, upon my final finish of a longass tirade of this and that, that I'm happy, and I don't really need to do much to be happy, I love you all.
Alright, this is it, this is all, and all that will be, I'm Tyson, the introduction is where I'm at now, I'll start with an introduction because that's the expected linnear function that I'm supposed to follow, right after the lenthy "I'm not gay" speech at the front that I put, that you read, why did you read it, Christ you're insane, why are you still reading this? Fuck you, I don't have to answer to anyone, rebel, rebel rebel. Or no, I'm just having a little fun is all, and you're having a little fun too, slowly formulating your bits and pieces to take it down in a bloody fire of "Dude, you're gay", and setting up your counterdefenses to my apt reply of "No, dude... 'you're' gay", yeah, it'll be like that, I love it when it's like that, all simple and no pain. There was pain? Nah, not really. It's all good and you know it, that's what I get, that's what you get, drink some bleach. Okay, so what am I gonna talk about for the next hour? Hmm, let's think... I'm Tyson, remember, like I stated in the introduction, so I'll go on a long winded rant about pseudo-intellectual bullshit that nobody really cares about but makes me look smart and definitely compensates for all of the nifty little drawbacks that I've been trailing behind me. Love that, I just sounded angsty for the purpose of propagating the stereotype that everyone who writes a blog is an angsty (circa "stupid") tool who has an everlasting vendetta with their parents. Heh, Hi Ho, it's all good, stealing from Vonnegut is like that, but he doesn't care, do you bud? No? Awesome. And now, if you haven't stopped reading, my penis is 64mm in girth and it is seven and one quarter inches from the pelvis out, not that cheating way of measuring from the bottom of the testicles either... Christ I hate guys who measure like that to enlarge thier pretend penis sizes. Now!! I've alienated all of the normal people who I've talked to, let's get down to business. Heh, what I'm trying to say in my gattabout way is, I'm creating a journal to look back and laugh at when I'm of age to do so, I'm laughing now, actually, isn't that super? Of course it is, giving a self analysis of yourself while doing a self analysis is so hilariously ironic. Do you get where I'm going with this? Yeah kids, it's going to be an apathy rant. Shit, you saw that coming already? Dammit man, it was a new shirt and everything that I got ready, why must you piss on my parade? Oh, that's right, because you realise that I'm writing this out of the theory that I can do certain things to certain people with text, such as ellict some vague sembalance of worry, why further? Well of course, for attention, considering I'm an attention whore and so very needing of all of your contant. *grins* I'm lagging this out as far as I possibly can right now, just to filter out any of the dumbasses still reading. Oh, could that previous line have been a tap for keeping people reading because it's going to eventuate to something much bigger? Correct, it was, and it was also a cralt to give people false hope, ah, how I love the world and everything in it. I'm sure those eyes that flick over these words are burning with contempt as I've said these things. Okay, I'm in year twelve, I'm not sick of it, I'm actually quite content with my position, improvised content, but content nonetheless, as I don't really care much for the positions and trivialities of everyone else, I can retain the level of contentment that I hold so dear. Yeah, here comes the pseudo-intellectual part. I am Tyson, in Highschool, and I don't care about things, you've heard it, you've read it, you've had it forced down your throats from me as a giant cry for attention to make sure that you think that I'm something else, something new, but never believe it because you knew better than to think that Tyson is just another guy trying to pants as many girls as possible in as short time as possible. I love that, a lot. Heh, I love a lot of things actually.... Anyways, I'll shout a common denominator of topic... Hmm... Religion! Yeah, that's right, you guys know me as a devout athiest, complete contempt for God and all of the problems that religion has spawned around the world. Yeah... I was faking it (Sorry Shannan), I'm agnostic, I don't really know if God exists or not, and I couldn't really care. I don't care about things that don't influence me, so I get away with no stress, love that deal. Heh, what else? Oh, Politics? Who's the next bastard who's going to lead out great country into the great abyss of deficit and poverty?! Uhh... Yeah, don't care... About the bastard, or the country, or the poverty... As hypocritical as that sounds, me being a white richboy involved heavily with political debate, I really couldn't give it the time of day. Heh, if you've seen me involved with that, then you'd have noticed that I was really, really faking it... But why do I fake it? I fake it because you guys expect me to, I've set out my denominations, my personality and what not on a giant board, and made it easy for everyone to see what's going to come next. Heh. Yeah, it's a little bit fickle, but it's definitely a cool way to live, it creates far less conflict if you guys think that I actually have a personality... I don't, really... I don't want one, they're mean and they make me feel cold, like in the place where grandpa touched me as a child, won't you please think of the place where grandpa touched me? No? Good, my Grandad is actually a pretty good feller, not one who'd molest people, certainly not me, I'm a great little kid like that, wait, no, that was 10 years ago when I actually was a kid, shit, where did that go? Heh, that's right, it passed while I was typing this contrived bullshit for the sake of appealing to everyone what I "really" am. Yeah, you see the fun with that is the fact that nobody actually gives a shit what I "really" am. Heh, but I'll continue to force it down all of your throats because I believe that you all think it's terribly important to "know Tyson". Heh, I love that. I love all of you. Today is pretty great, I don't really know why, I just keep looking back and forth between the computer and my clock, even though there's one on the bottom of the screen, I'm a bit hopeless like that, but you'll get over it, because that's "just the way I am", I love that, I slowly jade people to the way I am, and then slowly start pushing the boundaries of what they would find acceptable, eventually leading them into a place where they have no choice "but" to bat me off with a stick, and then explode. Once they do that, I get off being more bruised than them, by my own fault, but I have the cause and reason to say that "they're" the insane ones. Heh, I love that. Yeah, what a teenage problem. I'm actually just joking, if I do that, it's nothing more than a test, and I still love the people who do explode, I love everyone, remember? People are the hugest underrated sources of amusement that exist, I don't know why people don't understand that a good joke and belly laugh will make them complete, but that's them and I'm me, I'm the guy who's creepy, Creepy Tyson, as dubbed by a fair deal of my grade, so I'm gonna act like it. Heh, why though, Tyson? Why would you act like a bad character just because people expect you to? Well, kids, I'm gonna act like that because it's comfortable, doesn't confuse people, and is the sum of my actions before. Heh, chain of causation much? I wear a black shirt one time in eighth grade, one person calls me a Goth, and from then on, I'm remembered as the guy who rapes children, decapitates animals and starts fights with old people, only to rape, decapitate and eat them. I love life, and all of you. Heh, A black shirt is the cause of all of my reputation to this day, because people took a simple concept, and built on it, I found myself at a loss, so I merely followed the concept because it was comfortable, and now here I am, raving about life to a brick wall, or a few specific people who know me close enough to be able to read this contrived bullshit. I love you guys, you're all nice to me. Oh, before I forget, this is "not" sarcastic, I'm not sarcastic when I say I love you all, because I really do, remember that when I'm being a dick, I'm being a dick because I'm comfortable around you, and are just slowly pushing the boundaries until the time you explode so I can call you crazy and then write that I actually still love you in a rant about how apathetic I am. FUCK YEAH! HAT TRICK, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Did see that one coming, did you? Of course you did, you know me enough by now to notice that I'm nothing more than a singularly moving train of logic and fluff, getting out of the way of other trains that would be likely to make me derail... Crux Personalities are like that. I hate not having one, but I've built a reputation that serves even better, I'm that raping, eating, killing machine of bad poetry and pretention who enjoys nothing more but stalking and decapitating young girls in the privacies of their home. *grins* I love that, it's got a nice ring to it when I want people to "go away", I don't usually want people to go away really, but it's cool to think that if they are, it's because they think I'm stone cold fucked up, which is sorta true, even though I'm not "too" bad, wouldn't you say? People gave me that reputation, if I had a personality I could probably change it, even a little bit, but hey, I don't really care too much for what would happen if I started tweaking things. Geeze, give me a break, I'm only one guy here. Heh. I love the part that I'm intentionally giving you too much to read so you'll just go "Ah, to Hell with this" and leave. Even if I know that a specific one of you is gonna read this from start to finish... Note to that person: Lost you at the penis, didn't I? *grins*. Heh, that was a bit low, but you don't care, you're nice, I like you, no, I'm wrong, I love you, I love you more than you could possibly fathom. It's great like that, just using those words feels so nice, Love, Happy, Content, Bubbly, shit man, Bubbly is such a Bouncy word, and Bouncy is such a Flamboyant word, and Flamboyant is too friggin' gay to use in common context. Heh, damn the fags for being alive, because of them I can't say flamboyant without looking over my shoulder for the person who's gonna yell "Hey, check out this FAG for being a FAGGOT and saying a FAGGY word, the FAG". Heh, that person sucks, I don't quite love them... Well... Nah, I do love them, but in a purely non-gay way, because that would be something that a FAG does. Heh, I love these little intertextual references, I learned about them in Study of Society, from my teacher who talks more than me. She did my assignment for me, what a nice woman. I love her for that, oh, and I love the people who noticed that she did it for me, because we had a great joke about it, and I love joke, they make me happy and belly laugh, which makes my day complete. I really don't have that much happy music, everything seems to be telling me to kill and rape and eat what I raped and killed... Why is eating a part of that? Why would I want to eat something I violated, that's like performing oral sex on myself. That doesn't appeal to me. I'll get someone else to do that, one of the random girls I'm trying to pants, I think. Yeah, I love them because they perform oral sex on me so I don't have to. Ah, Stan Bush - The Touch, there's a happy song, he spends the four minutes ranting about how great the listener is. Ego trip, much? Nah... Anyway, I haven't said anything self-serving or pseudo-intellectual for a while, apart from using those hyphens right there, dammit... *coughs* Yeah, so I'll go on about why being happy is the only reason to live. You see kids, there are a lot of things in life that are undesirable, living, for instance, is one of these things, because of all of the little disappointments you're sure to get from the time you start the day to the time you finish it, so why live? There's no real reason, I'm sure the world wouldn't collapse if you missed softball training, or if you weren't alive to take that Math test, or if your girlfriend dumped you, though the world would collapse if you were to bitch to everyone about it, because that would create a ripple of people bitching about people bitching to them... And then all these people would be too busy complaining to realise the Russians are launching Nuclear fucking Missles at us, and I guess we'd all die as a result of the fallout, nice going jerkwad, because you got dumped, we're all dead. Jesus, people are inconsiderate. Anyways, I digress from Russians and death and bitching, to bitch about people, Fuck I hate people, I'll have a bitch about them because I'm not sarcastic at all and nobody understands me and I'm a trapped poet. Oh wait... Shit, I have to write poems before I'm a poet... Heh, missed that part, ah well, I'll substitute it for hating my parents, so people will think that I'm a cutting edge new teenager who's happenings and living life to the extreme fullest. That's because if I hated my parents, that would give more substance to my reputation, because it would give a cause for why I rape all of those girls and kill all of those animals... It's the parents! Dammit, it's always the parents!! Heh, nah, I love my parents, they're great people, they raised me pretty well, I'm the one who started thinking all of these ZANY and CRAZY thoughts, woah, shit, my head's exploding from all of the care I'm being given from writing this. Heh, whah-oops, that's right, you all stopped reading when I kept referencing my penis and making jokes about previous girlfriends. Wait, that never happened? Shit, hey, uhh, how about Jo, right... Yeah... HA HA She's Craaaaazy, am I right?! Uhh... Yeah, those jokes don't work out so well, namely because it's beaten into the ground that I did, in fact, date a Bipolar girl who was a few screws loose of a cannon, I get it guys, I get it, I brought it upon myself, and I have no reason to ever mention her, and I generally only do to get a sympathy vote so I can pants a chick. You know, because every chick is like "Woah, you had a relationship that went badly, DO ME, DO ME TYSON, FUCK, just DO ME!" ...Yeah, I wish, that'd be great. Heh, nah, that'd be weird, it'd eliminate any of the fun in courting a random chick, so I'll just leave it to the side, "Hey baby, you got some pretty eyes, oh, and I had a bad experience with a girl, oooh yeah, my penis is seven and a quarter inches, yeah, you like that, don't you? God, please listen to me, I need attention and love, what's that, you're listening now? ...Can I live inside you? *weeps into your shoulder*" Yeah, that'd be a cool scenerio... Heh, only not really. He's a God, he's a Man, he's a Guru, isn't that right Nick Cave? Yeah, of course it is, you were the crazy ass one who said it, I'm not sure about the stacks of green paper though, we don't have any immigrants here... I'm pretty sure everyone was here before me, oh, apart from everyone here after me, but they don't quite matter. Oh yeah, what was I talking about again? I'm not too sure, but by god, I'm horny. Did you want to know that? No? Oh... Can I live inside you? No? Aww... What if I tell you I hate my parents and listen to NEW and EXCITING music while I REBEL against the cause because I'm DIFFERENT to everyone else. Heh, I love that, we're all the same, that's why I love everyone, because loving one person is exactly the same as loving another, because essentially, love is an untaxable commodity that you can give to anyone, hey, sometimes you may even get something back, in that instance, you got something for nothing, essentially because love is nothing. Wait, that wasn't my point, love "is" something. Fuck, dammit I screwed up... Don't read that, please, for the love of God, I never fucking screw up, I am Tyson, I'm fucking immortal and always right, so shove it up your fucking ass. Why did I tell you to shove facts up your ass? That's right, because you're a FAGGOT and I bet you used the word FLAMBOYANT. Didn't you? Now where was I? I forget, but I'm sure it was important... Uhh.. Think boy, think... I've talked about sex and bodily functions too long, now I'll move back to money, I don't want a lot of money, but a little would be nice, just enough to get by... I don't need too much, because then if I was to lose it, I'd have a sense of loss, and a sense of loss is never good... Don't cry because it ended, be happy because it happened! Yeah, fuck that, I'd rather it not have happened so I didn't have to lose anything, because when I lose something, I feel the need to get something back to compensate for it, just like when my granpa stopped touching me, I needed another relative to willfully molest me so I could feel wanted again, and not like some sort of awkward pubescent piece of shit that nobody wants because they're psychologically unstable. Me, Unstable? Never. I'm perfectly tip top, top of the tip, motherfucker. I cuss too much though, I gotta cut down on that, I cussed a whole lot less at the start, because people were still reading then, HA! Those poor fools, they don't know what they're missing. I'm sure they got anchored down to the places where I said the word faggot in capital letters, I find that funny, when people skim, they stop at the bolded and bigger things, not the individual interesting words. I stop every time I see a reference to sex, why? Because I like reading about it, because I'm not having it as much as I used to, oh noes, waning libido? Nah, I'm just preventing myself from spreading my seed to the four winds lately because I have bigger and better things... Yeah, that's right Tyson, make excuses, you ain't gettin' lots because you like one specific girl. Fuck, dammit, I should stop being so damned honest right after I tell a lie. Heh, that sucks, but it's all good. Dude, it's getting late, I have school tomorrow, I want to leave but I love the sound of my hands going clickety-clack on the keyboard. Heh, it's better than sleeping, but any regard, and it's a good thing to do while I wait for whatever I have to keep downloading, oh noes, hidden guilty pleasure, that's a fuckup, that's not good, I wonder if MSN Spaces will let me post this because I swear a lot... If it does, I'm gonna laugh if people actually read it, twice as much if people go "Tyson, are you okay?" or "We're here for you", because I know nobody will do that, it's cool, because I managed to think enough to piss people off right from the start so they wouldn't read this far down, and thus wouldn't realise that if they "were" giving me sympathy, I'd just be laughing going "Oh, you card, it was all a dream". You know what? You're a headcrab zombie. Do you know why I said that? I was referencing to an interesting thing I read a long time ago, really really shittily written fanfiction. I don't really like fanfiction and shittily isn't actually a word, but what'cha gonna do, homeboy? Heh, one step forward, two steps back, three steps forward, still making a gain, so it's all good. Heh, why do you hide, so afraid of what you leave behind? Man, I gotta write for myself, not let song lyrics do all of the work... Are you still reading this? If you are, man, are you on ritalin? How many fucking drugs did it take you to keep at the pretentious bullshit? Yeah, anyway, apathy! ON TOPIC, ON TOPIC GUYS!!! Yeah, anyways, it's safer and happier not to care about anything, because, y'know, if you don't, then you'll never be hurt, and you'll always be happy, and the goal of life is just to be happy. I like jokes and what not, because they're free, I don't have to work for them, I don't have to spend trivial hours doing meanial tasks to hear someone in passing make an amusing comment about chickens, roads or doors.... Man, that's why life is great, and I love you all, because you're all so very, very fickle and placing value on things, when things don't really have value, and I'm a dirty hippie. Shit, I mean, You're all paying too much for things, when you could easily have just not paid, and had a long string of jokes, be just as happy, and taken up all of the time that you would have used if on what you spent your money on, plus the time you worked for it. Yeah, see how shitty I sound when I'm actually trying to make a point? This is why I like talking to myself more, because it's a lot more fluent, and I don't actually have to tell you something rather than random facts that spring to mind. They say the male mind works in a linnear pattern, while the female mind works in a networking sense, in a logistical sense... Well, Fuck you. Fuck anyone who came up with that bullshit, if I could think in a straight line, then this wouldn't have happened, I would be right up the top going "Yeah, so politics guys, pretty heavy stuff". That'd be boring though, and boredom isn't pleasurable, so you'd have to kill yourself, and I'd have to kill myself, God Fuck people, we'd end so many lives if I was mentally stable. And that'd suck, since I love life, mine and yours... So I'll stay how I am and not take the medication that my parents gave me. Oh, my parents didn't actually give me medication, they're content with my behaviour as it, because they belted me into the way I am today because they didn't believe the molestation accusations I gave my dear old sweet motherfucking son of a fucking grandfucking father who's throat I'll fucking slit after I rape and fucking eat him. FUCK! Oh, wait, that wasn't me... Anyways, shit, I kinda just scared myself, I think some semen came out. Heh, I love my life, my humor is really bad... I'm sorry for the people who're still reading, but you're fucked up, moreso than I am. Isn't it cool that who're without the appostraphy is "whore". Heh, "Whore you talking to", yeah... Females should be banned from the keys 2, 4, u, r, and z, because I'm sick as fuck of reading things girls have written that mangle the fucking English language, which is beautiful and sacred. Actually, I don't really care, I'm just ripping off a joke that I read on a site that I go to. Belly laugh time, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, that was the shit, motherfuckers, I laughed up a motherfucking storm, hardcore. *coughs* As of the time of writing this sentence, I had two thousand, eight hundred and ten characters because my space would be completely used up, I just wasted about two hundred letters just there, mad shit. Heh, anyways, I'm having a good time, it feels good to talk a lot, because conveying information is free and I don't have to work for it, and it gives me pleasure, like being a prostitute, but they get paid for what they do... Man, what a great job, apart from all of the sweaty old men and mentally unstable youths that rape them. Man, the world is pretty defunct like that, no matter where you look, there's a horror story, thirteen year old girls getting pregnant, kids blasting other kids heads', Israelis kicking Palestinian ass and Palestinians blowing Israelis up... Yeah, I'm not too good at social commentary, I'm sorry, I don't really care about it, because I have no personality, and am just a giant conglomeration of all that I have learned that's patched together much like a giant rug of HATE AND DEATH, but without the hate and death in capital letters, and more with the LOVE AND PEACE, because I love everyone, and a peaceful life is pretty dandy, hey, I have no problem with sleeping all day and checking up on the beets and dry onions I've been growing outside my cave hovel, as long as I can joke, belly laugh, and decapitate animals... That's all that life is about... This is crazy, I'm dropping below one thousand and four hundred characters... I've actually been typing for about half an hour to fourty five minutes straight, non-stop, baby, just everything that comes to the top of my head, oh, apart from the moment it took me to convert 18cm into inches for the penis calculation, because saying seven and a bit inches sounds so much bigger than eighteen centimeters, that's how I feel good about myself, and still above the guys who don't know how to correctly measure their genitals so they can post about them somewhere so they can scare off people who would be reading about all of the crap that they thought about in the space of an hour, because they felt like getting something off their chest. I love all of your guys, because that's all that matters, love, love is the only thing that matters, the only thing that matters is love. Oh yeah, and laughing, and pleasure, everything else is just dust and settles, because everyone has a right to know that I will treat them like a dog, as I shoot my venom in, because you guys know, I'm a scorpion... Of love! A lovepion, or a scorpilove. Whichever sounds better... Yeah, I didn't even get to say all of the things I wanted to say about my completely edgy topics... But at least now I can say, upon my final finish of a longass tirade of this and that, that I'm happy, and I don't really need to do much to be happy, I love you all.