Who are we supposed to be, Donna Reed?
“Recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it.” Michael Noer, “Don’t Marry Career Women”, Forbes.com, August 22, 2006
I am not going to argue with Noer’s statistics. The facts that he uses are probably accurate. I am even go out on a limb and admit that I can see some similarities with myself in his article, although I am happily married. The problem I have is that he overlooked one major point: Do most women really have a choice about having a career?
Noer seems to think so. According to his definition, I am in fact a professional woman: I hold a degree, I work 40 hours a week and thankfully I do make more than $30k a year. But it’s not like I sat up one morning and thought, wow, I need to go get myself a career. Instead, I woke up one morning and thought, wow, it sure would be nice to have some money to pay my bills and eat!
So I went to college. Then I got a good job and later a better job. Five years later, here I am. This isn’t the 1950s; I didn’t have the option of living with my parents and going to garden parties until the right man came along. And when my right man did come along, he wasn’t rich, so I continue to work.
There are women who have careers because they love it, and they would work even if they didn’t have to. But the majority of the women that I know do not fall into that category. We are career women by necessity. That being the case, it is outrageous to present these statistics as if we have some control over them.
“Whatever you do, don’t marry a woman with a career.” What other type of woman is a man supposed to marry? An heiress? What would happen if we turned this around? Ladies, whatever you do, don’t marry a man with a career. Now how ridiculous does that sound?
I am not going to argue with Noer’s statistics. The facts that he uses are probably accurate. I am even go out on a limb and admit that I can see some similarities with myself in his article, although I am happily married. The problem I have is that he overlooked one major point: Do most women really have a choice about having a career?
Noer seems to think so. According to his definition, I am in fact a professional woman: I hold a degree, I work 40 hours a week and thankfully I do make more than $30k a year. But it’s not like I sat up one morning and thought, wow, I need to go get myself a career. Instead, I woke up one morning and thought, wow, it sure would be nice to have some money to pay my bills and eat!
So I went to college. Then I got a good job and later a better job. Five years later, here I am. This isn’t the 1950s; I didn’t have the option of living with my parents and going to garden parties until the right man came along. And when my right man did come along, he wasn’t rich, so I continue to work.
There are women who have careers because they love it, and they would work even if they didn’t have to. But the majority of the women that I know do not fall into that category. We are career women by necessity. That being the case, it is outrageous to present these statistics as if we have some control over them.
“Whatever you do, don’t marry a woman with a career.” What other type of woman is a man supposed to marry? An heiress? What would happen if we turned this around? Ladies, whatever you do, don’t marry a man with a career. Now how ridiculous does that sound?