Oh god....
Please don't tell anyone guys...
I'm so sorry...
0. Do you cut? Yes....for about 10 months i think.
1. Who do you hide SI from? Everyone...
2. Who knows about it? No one.
3. How long has it been since you last cut? about 2 days
4. Have you ever tried to commit suicide before? I came close...but an actual attempt? No.
5. Where do you usually cut? Wrists, thighs, ankles, shoulders, any place where I'd be able to hide it.
6.When you cut, who's usually the first to find out? No one.
7. What's your worst experience with a fresh cut? I was angry and I cut really deep and it wouldn't stop bleeding...oh god there was so much blood. And my mom was supposed to be home in a few minutes so I had to find a way to hide it quick.
8. Do you have a fascination with scabs? No
9. Do you like scars, yes or no? Yes
10. Do you name your razor? No
11. What other methods of SI do you use? Burning occasionally...but primarily cutting.
12. Do you dislike the term "self mutilation"? I'm not fond of it, but I don't hate it.
13. What various ways do you use to hide cuts? Clothes, Bracelets,wristbands
14. Once cuts heal, do you still hide the scars? Yes.
15. Ever been institutionalized/hospitalized for SI'ing? No.
16. Do you ever run into problems with hiding cuts (i.e: gym change rooms)? Occasionally...not often.
17. What's the best part about cutting to you? I'm not sure there's a 'best' part. It's like...right before I cut my heart starts to speed up, and then when I actually cut and I get an adrenialine(sp?) rush...and then when I'm done...I'm just calm.
18. Do you know of any songs that talk about SI? Not that I can think of...
19. Have you ever been caught cutting/burning, etc? I haven't been walked in on, but yeah some people have found out...
20. What instrument do you use to cut? Razor, Knife, saftey pins, glass, anything thats sharp enough
21. What causes you to cut? Anger at family, when I feel alone, When I'm pissed, When I'm sad. Hell even when I'm happy sometimes. Anything can trigger me pretty much...
22. What do you feel afterwards? Calm. And then I get mad at myself because I keep promising myself that I'm going to quit cutting. And then I just break down and cry.
23. What is your closest Close Call? Refer to question 7
24. How long have you been doing it? Not sure exactly, but about 10 months
25. Do you keep a razor in your bag? No, I only cut when I'm alone at home.
26. Ever needed stitches for a cut so deep? No
27. Do you have someone like a therapist you talk to regularly? No
28. Are your parents divorced? Yes
I'm so sorry....I tried quitting, I really did. It's just so...addicting. I want to stop so bad. And I lied to all of you... Oh god. I'm so sorry. I just needed someone to know. But I couldn't just come out and tell you. This is the only way I could think of so you could know...
You hate me now.