meh
counting down the days to this weekend...it is wednesday and i am being VERY unproductive right now.....i do not know why i am at a loss of energy lately....maybe it is because i dont eat as much as i used to...i dunno...but i should be cleaning and doing homework (since i have a butload tonight) but instead ive been playing solitare for half an hour...ahh well thats me.....
i know im a fool...and im sorry for feeling the way i do....i try to supress it but i cannot kill the jealousy. Everyone tells me "hes crazy about you, head over heals in love" ....and i know that....believe me...noone knows that better than i do....except for maybe him, but i feel the same way about him and it is hard to even see the hugs much less KISSES! ::sigh:: i suppose one day i will have to get over this...i hope i do. The truth is that even though i say it will hurt me, i will probably still watch....in hopes that....it doesnt look like it is thouroughly enjoyed...in hopes that...it will be nothing like our kisses....in hopes that....it will be so unrealistic..even though that would sacrafice the play. I know it is acting...i know...but dammit michael is a good actor....therefore lots of times...it feels real.
i started feeling really shitty today, around lunch time.......it wasnt what i ate...because it came before i ate anything.....and it wasnt like i felt like i would throw up...it was more of a feeling that someone was stabbing me in the chest, between my ribs and in my stomach with a butcher knife, and i got really hot and dizzy, i had to hold my head up in spanish with my arm. The feeling gradually left by 7th period...needless to say i was relieved.
i wish it was monday.....for once....haha....it will be fun...even if it rains
ladies and gentlemen we are over the hump! hahaha
i know im a fool...and im sorry for feeling the way i do....i try to supress it but i cannot kill the jealousy. Everyone tells me "hes crazy about you, head over heals in love" ....and i know that....believe me...noone knows that better than i do....except for maybe him, but i feel the same way about him and it is hard to even see the hugs much less KISSES! ::sigh:: i suppose one day i will have to get over this...i hope i do. The truth is that even though i say it will hurt me, i will probably still watch....in hopes that....it doesnt look like it is thouroughly enjoyed...in hopes that...it will be nothing like our kisses....in hopes that....it will be so unrealistic..even though that would sacrafice the play. I know it is acting...i know...but dammit michael is a good actor....therefore lots of times...it feels real.
i started feeling really shitty today, around lunch time.......it wasnt what i ate...because it came before i ate anything.....and it wasnt like i felt like i would throw up...it was more of a feeling that someone was stabbing me in the chest, between my ribs and in my stomach with a butcher knife, and i got really hot and dizzy, i had to hold my head up in spanish with my arm. The feeling gradually left by 7th period...needless to say i was relieved.
i wish it was monday.....for once....haha....it will be fun...even if it rains
ladies and gentlemen we are over the hump! hahaha