"If one were so inclined."
So Richard and I finish our meal. We go back to our room where a bottle of Smirnoff Citrus Vodka is waiting for us. I bought it a while ago in Canada, where the bottle of booze come slightly bigger than in America. We're cool like that.
You know Smirnoff is Kosher? The things you learn when you read the back of the bottle.
We used the glasses in the room, but I wanted ice. We grabbed the bucket and scoured the halls for a mobile water refridgeration unit, but to no avail. We asked the front desk and she told me to turn down to my left, take a right, take a left, avoid the kids in the arcade room and turn the corner to the ice machine.
Wait, did she said Arcade?!?! Calm yourself Dan...
We get some ice, and by some I mean an over flowing bucket because I'm cool like that, and poured. Coke is a good chaser to the Vod, and the real trick with chasers it to swallow the booze, keep your mouth closed and don't breth in, then swallow the chaser. Air has no chance to infiltrate the trachea, so the evaporation of the booze can't burn you.
I'm so glad my bio professor is a lush.
I had two shots, Richard had two shots, then we put the bottle in the closet and closed it. We went upstairs where the youngin's were staying, figured out who was in what rooms, and began coaching. Some were practicing out in the hall, which is what I figured caused people in other rooms to call the front desk and sent to massive, burly, break-your-neck-and-not-even-blink black security guard. Nice fella. I was in 201, helping Dayna and Katie when he walked into the room. Battice requested we all had the rooms open so people could easily come in and out and find each other. The following happened:
Guard: Pardon me, ladies...
(Walking into the room, he sees me sitting on the bed, while two girls are prancing around in thier skimpies, and gives me a devlish smile)
Guard: ...And Gentleman(smiles), but we're going to have to close the door as we've had complaints of noise.
Me: Oh, sorry about that. Thank you.
He then gave me a look that made me feel like both a pimp and a perv.
I helped a lot of people that night, with pretty much every subject. And because right now they are playing Army of Darkness on TV, I'm going to cheat you out of all the details and just say that I wound up coaching until about 2 in the morning. I was downstairs in the computer room printing off Mapquest directions to the school for Battice when I went to check my Myspace. They had some sort of crazy ass security system that wouldn't let me check it. I left the room and from behind me I heard "Going to bed?" It was Battice walking behind me. I asked her what she was doing down here and she simply said "Don't worry about it." That is a double edged phrase: To use it is badass, because you are covering up something and hiding it from your conversor, but to be at the hearing end of it is annoying as fuck and pisses me off. We were walking right past the bar, so I figured I won't ask again and went into my room.
I was finished doing that thing you do after eating a big meal, and was washing my hands when I heard two familiar voices outside my room. One was a female laughing, one was a deep and burly voice.
Battice: Ahahaha!
Guard: Don't worry ma'am, we just do that so no kids go outside to smoke. You can do so in any of the rooms down here.
Battice: Oh, ok, thank you!
Damn. Going to the bar at 2 AM would have been cooler.
Richard was passed out already and I snuggled into the warm, hopefully sterile bed. I do my best thinking in one of two places: In the shower and as I'm falling asleep. A recently development in my life and an idea I had been dealing with for a while came together blissfully in my mind, so to make sure I didn't forget it I saved it in my phone as a text message draft, because I'm nerdy like that. After cursing the cold Michigan climate, Richard's sleep talking and the effect of caffeine on me, I finally feel asleep.
Wow, I really don't feel like typing when such a badass movie is on. I'll continue this later.
On another note, the Victoria's Secret fashion show was tonight. I, being a card carying Heterosexual male, watched. Good music, nice lighting effects. While I do really love the female body, I can't but to wag my finger at two things: The over glorification of the horrific fashion industry through nationaly televised, multi-million dollar extravaganza, and the disgusting push of the idea that thin is beautiful. While I am a man of words, sometimes a picture speaks for you. Also, it doesn't hurt if that picture has a good caption.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b190/MissMaryMack/pics/Cool_Shit/Art/curves2.jpg
Also, I just got a facebook. Someone hold my hand through this please.