(no subject)
I saw my Aunt today. We went to visit, and pack up some of her stuff that she's given to my sister and I. When we got there, so was in a hospital bed that had been brought to her house. She had her oxygen on, and a nurse was in the house to monitor her. Packing up her stuff...was so hard. All my memories. We are going to be keeping them, and displaying the things for Christmas. (it's rather hard to explain what the stuff is...but basically, it's porcelain houses that you can put candles in). Every Christmas we go to my Aunt's house and we set up the houses like a little village; we've done so since as long as I can remember. But now she's given us the houses, and we're setting them up under our Christmas tree this year.
I feel like I have to be strong for my mother and my sister. As we were leaving my Aunt's house, my got into the car, and just broke. And I wanted so bad to cry, but instead I sat there and stroked my mother's hair while she cried. I don't know if I can handle this. I've lost so many people that I love, and I don't know what I will do if I lose my Aunt. I have always looked up to her so much, and I love her so dearly. I'm not good with telling people how I feel, so I don't think she knows. And I need to tell her. And that kills me inside. She gave me a hug today, and squeezed so tight. As we left, I saw tears in her eyes.
I just...I just don't know if I can take this. I just don't know. I'm going to try to call Chris right now, but if he doesn't answer, I'm going to have to sit in silence in the car with my mother and sister for an hour an a half back to Winchester. *sigh* I hope I can make it through this. I just wish my Aunt could say the same.
I feel like I have to be strong for my mother and my sister. As we were leaving my Aunt's house, my got into the car, and just broke. And I wanted so bad to cry, but instead I sat there and stroked my mother's hair while she cried. I don't know if I can handle this. I've lost so many people that I love, and I don't know what I will do if I lose my Aunt. I have always looked up to her so much, and I love her so dearly. I'm not good with telling people how I feel, so I don't think she knows. And I need to tell her. And that kills me inside. She gave me a hug today, and squeezed so tight. As we left, I saw tears in her eyes.
I just...I just don't know if I can take this. I just don't know. I'm going to try to call Chris right now, but if he doesn't answer, I'm going to have to sit in silence in the car with my mother and sister for an hour an a half back to Winchester. *sigh* I hope I can make it through this. I just wish my Aunt could say the same.