My Sweet Little Religion... How Does It Feel?
So I've been working every day for two weeks.
Getting up at 5:30 a.m.
Dear God.
Taking care of a two-year-old. (And a six-year-old and a 10-year-old last all at the same time last week, but not this week.)
Dear God.
I love children (mostly) but jesusfuckingchrist I cannot take any more Barney or Barbie movies.
Seriously, what the fuck is up with kids and that damn purple dinosaur? Not to mention his "friends" BJ (*immature snort*) and Baby Bop.
Dear God, I know their names now.
My life officially blows.
***************************
In other news, the sortoffriends guy situation has escalated into bad territory. Or maybe I'm mixing metaphors or euphemisms or whatnot. --But whatever, it's bad. We've gotten to the point where we're dating, but we're not calling it dating. So I'm getting all the flack without any of the fun.
Great.
It really hit me how retarded I am when we went out with our friend Dan to the movies the other day and Dan referred to me as my friend's girlfriend.
It didn't hit me until later, but damn-- I'm being so stupid about this.
A few weeks ago it was just playful flirting... and then some weird friends with benefits shit, and now I'm his girlfriend.
Fuckity shit fuck fuck.
I know that this can't go on. And I know that I don't want an actual, committed relationship with him, and that he probably doesn't want the same with me... maybe. Now I'm all confused about where he is with this whole thing because of how he's acting around me now. LIKE I'M HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.
So I have to end it. But I'm no good at that-- the whole "love you but not IN love you" bit. Because it sounds like shit and usually is, but this case, it's actually how I feel. So, because of that, I also feel massive guilt and horribly bitchy... on top of feeling like "OHGODMUSTSTOPTHIS." Because, really, this isn't going to end well. Arrrrg.
So now I'm all depressed that I have to "breakup" with my friend, who is actually a great guy but just not for me, and it will cause all this angst and probably massive amounts of awkwardness, all of which are my fault for not nipping this in the goddamn bud earlier.
BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT.
Just put me in a pointy hat and set me in the corner.
Because I'm done.
--Damn, I'm mixing euphemisms again.
~Kat
Getting up at 5:30 a.m.
Dear God.
Taking care of a two-year-old. (And a six-year-old and a 10-year-old last all at the same time last week, but not this week.)
Dear God.
I love children (mostly) but jesusfuckingchrist I cannot take any more Barney or Barbie movies.
Seriously, what the fuck is up with kids and that damn purple dinosaur? Not to mention his "friends" BJ (*immature snort*) and Baby Bop.
Dear God, I know their names now.
My life officially blows.
***************************
In other news, the sortoffriends guy situation has escalated into bad territory. Or maybe I'm mixing metaphors or euphemisms or whatnot. --But whatever, it's bad. We've gotten to the point where we're dating, but we're not calling it dating. So I'm getting all the flack without any of the fun.
Great.
It really hit me how retarded I am when we went out with our friend Dan to the movies the other day and Dan referred to me as my friend's girlfriend.
It didn't hit me until later, but damn-- I'm being so stupid about this.
A few weeks ago it was just playful flirting... and then some weird friends with benefits shit, and now I'm his girlfriend.
Fuckity shit fuck fuck.
I know that this can't go on. And I know that I don't want an actual, committed relationship with him, and that he probably doesn't want the same with me... maybe. Now I'm all confused about where he is with this whole thing because of how he's acting around me now. LIKE I'M HIS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.
So I have to end it. But I'm no good at that-- the whole "love you but not IN love you" bit. Because it sounds like shit and usually is, but this case, it's actually how I feel. So, because of that, I also feel massive guilt and horribly bitchy... on top of feeling like "OHGODMUSTSTOPTHIS." Because, really, this isn't going to end well. Arrrrg.
So now I'm all depressed that I have to "breakup" with my friend, who is actually a great guy but just not for me, and it will cause all this angst and probably massive amounts of awkwardness, all of which are my fault for not nipping this in the goddamn bud earlier.
BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT.
Just put me in a pointy hat and set me in the corner.
Because I'm done.
--Damn, I'm mixing euphemisms again.
~Kat