(no subject)
I'm sick of LJ.
A kind word could go so far, but I feel like I give and give and give but some people don't bother at all. Too busy kissing each others arses.
Maybe is affects you like it affects me when I read and reply to your posts. Maybe you simply don't care. Or I am a subject for gossip or discussion when you've ran out of other things to say or need some drama. I hate that everyone must flick past my posts on their friends page, I assume I'm the annoying one.
I feel really resentful towards people. Definitely some more than others. I also admire people who don't play the game, who post and don't get replies because that is what they like to do, or post and don't let their replies get shown to everyone.
I don't think this is me. It doesn't make sense why I've done it for so long. I think it's the end of an era and I guess it's the people I've grown up with that have kept me here but now they are mostly gone, now I know about their lives because we talk, in letters, on the phone, in emails, texts, meeting up, or we don't, because that's how it goes.
I guess if you are not one of those people I doubt the likelihood that you are a real friend. Not that I am dismissing our connections because at times everyone on here has been a valued person for me to know. So many people have affected me in such a profound way that means my virtual (internet) life has been just as important as my 'real' life. But there are friends and there are.... people you know.
I made a decision now that I'm gonna keep my journal private, with just those few people that I do keep in touch with away from here. There is no deal, because I know that everything gone still means something. And I appreciate the support. I don't know who will be on, I'll do it now to avoid dragging it out and leave this post public in case people wonder. Sorry if it upsets anyone, it's not meant to.
A kind word could go so far, but I feel like I give and give and give but some people don't bother at all. Too busy kissing each others arses.
Maybe is affects you like it affects me when I read and reply to your posts. Maybe you simply don't care. Or I am a subject for gossip or discussion when you've ran out of other things to say or need some drama. I hate that everyone must flick past my posts on their friends page, I assume I'm the annoying one.
I feel really resentful towards people. Definitely some more than others. I also admire people who don't play the game, who post and don't get replies because that is what they like to do, or post and don't let their replies get shown to everyone.
I don't think this is me. It doesn't make sense why I've done it for so long. I think it's the end of an era and I guess it's the people I've grown up with that have kept me here but now they are mostly gone, now I know about their lives because we talk, in letters, on the phone, in emails, texts, meeting up, or we don't, because that's how it goes.
I guess if you are not one of those people I doubt the likelihood that you are a real friend. Not that I am dismissing our connections because at times everyone on here has been a valued person for me to know. So many people have affected me in such a profound way that means my virtual (internet) life has been just as important as my 'real' life. But there are friends and there are.... people you know.
I made a decision now that I'm gonna keep my journal private, with just those few people that I do keep in touch with away from here. There is no deal, because I know that everything gone still means something. And I appreciate the support. I don't know who will be on, I'll do it now to avoid dragging it out and leave this post public in case people wonder. Sorry if it upsets anyone, it's not meant to.