meh
i know i need to get my shit together.
i've been slacking off in terms of connecting with people and i don't know why.
it's not that i'm lazy, it just feels like i burden people regardless of what i'm doing so its like.. why bother? i'm not blaming anyone specifically either.
i know i'm in the wrong for most of what i've been doing, and it's not the late-night parties. i've only been to one since i turned 21, and two birthday parties that didn't even last into the night. pretty much a major bust. i don't indulge in booze as many would like to believe either, i don't have the money or much of a reason. highschool days are over.
events on new years have left me questioning myself and slightly depressed but i'm trying to pull out of it and move on to make things better for everyone.
my DnD group; my other family has been suffering a lot because of my neglect. or so i think. not many people are happy with me because i just can't seem to get my fucking head in the game and actually keep my promises. i boast and boast about how i'm reliable and that i'll always be there for someone but when it comes right down to it i can never seem to hold up my end. it makes me feel really bad and worthless as a friend and sister. i despise it when people are unhappy with me, but i can't expect them to forgive me forever for the same mistakes.
i haven't seen a lot of my friends recently and it sucks. most people have work and a life now, while i wallow at home and sleep most of my days away because i can't seem to land employment. i'm screamed at almost daily for it too, so it eats away at me all the time.
i'm a fuck up. so i need to get with it.
gonna try to get this right
i've been slacking off in terms of connecting with people and i don't know why.
it's not that i'm lazy, it just feels like i burden people regardless of what i'm doing so its like.. why bother? i'm not blaming anyone specifically either.
i know i'm in the wrong for most of what i've been doing, and it's not the late-night parties. i've only been to one since i turned 21, and two birthday parties that didn't even last into the night. pretty much a major bust. i don't indulge in booze as many would like to believe either, i don't have the money or much of a reason. highschool days are over.
events on new years have left me questioning myself and slightly depressed but i'm trying to pull out of it and move on to make things better for everyone.
my DnD group; my other family has been suffering a lot because of my neglect. or so i think. not many people are happy with me because i just can't seem to get my fucking head in the game and actually keep my promises. i boast and boast about how i'm reliable and that i'll always be there for someone but when it comes right down to it i can never seem to hold up my end. it makes me feel really bad and worthless as a friend and sister. i despise it when people are unhappy with me, but i can't expect them to forgive me forever for the same mistakes.
i haven't seen a lot of my friends recently and it sucks. most people have work and a life now, while i wallow at home and sleep most of my days away because i can't seem to land employment. i'm screamed at almost daily for it too, so it eats away at me all the time.
i'm a fuck up. so i need to get with it.
gonna try to get this right