Glee - SLUT - pg13 - 1/1
Swallowing, Kurt gave a strained smile to his friends. This was going to be the hardest performance of his life and there wasn’t even an audience. Everyone laughed and rolled their eyes when Mr. Schue showed off his shirt reading “BUTT CHIN”. As they made their way to the stage, Kurt took Mercedes’ hand and pulled her into a hug.
He whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Before she could ask what he was talking about, Kurt stepped onto the stage and looked at the few in the auditorium seats.
Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury were there, and in the back were Santana and Dave Karofsky. Rachel was there, too, smiling up at him, her “NOSE” shirt displayed. When the music started, he began the song and his choreography.
He unzipped the top of the flannel jacket, and he could hardly believe he was wearing flannel to begin with, flaring it out to display the word “SLUT” across his chest. He saw Mr. Schue frown and Miss Pillsbury’s eyes widen. Santana covered her mouth, probably hiding a snigger, and Rachel’s mouth dropped open.
He saw Mercedes was surprised and confused when she read it, but he knew it would only get worse when he finished revealing it. Kurt was aware that as each set of eyes read the word they were confounded because, as far as any of them knew, he was still a virgin.
He hadn’t meant to become the school slut at Dalton. It had just…happened. After Valentine’s Day, it was obvious Blaine would never want him, and Kurt had felt desperate for some form of validation and proof that he was desirable. So when Jeff started flirting, he went with it. And then another boy, and another. In the two months since Blaine’s rejection, Kurt had slept with almost two dozen boys.
It made him feel more worthless than anything else.
His heart was pounding and he suddenly wasn’t sure he could do this. His friends would never understand, wouldn’t accept him. As the choreography turned him, he caught sight of Puck as he opened his shirt. “LIKES CHICKS AND DICKS” stood out boldly. Their eyes met and Kurt raised an eyebrow. Puck raised one of his, smirking slightly, and gave a small backwards nod. Taking a deep breath, Kurt glanced to the floor and finished unzipping his jacket. In smaller letters, the word “innocent” was stretched over the very tiny bump of his stomach.
He wouldn’t be able to make eye contact with anyone for the rest of the song. He wouldn’t be able to take the pity or judgment in their faces. He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he had been when he found out he was pregnant. He was about six weeks along, so the bump really was barely noticeable, but it was just enough.
When the time in the choreography came for everyone to throw their jackets and over-shirts, Kurt bit his lip. He heard the coughs and catches in the voices of his teammates as they saw what was written on the back. He was glad he couldn’t see the faces of his teachers when he turned to show the damning words to the audience.
“CAN’T NAME THE FATHER”
He had started sleeping around so fast and with so many people and so suddenly. He really had no idea who the father might be. He couldn’t even name all the people he had had sex with.
He was ashamed.
He had pulled Finn aside as they entered the auditorium, asking him not to freak out when he saw it. He hadn’t told any of the boys he’d been with, or Blaine, or even his own father yet.
When the song finished, Mercedes rushed across the stage to hug him. Before long, Tina, Brittany, and Rachel were hugging him, too. Then Finn pulled them all in and, amazingly, dropped a kiss to Kurt’s head. Kurt was pretty sure he didn’t totally understand what had happened, but he really appreciated the sentiment.
Before long, he was crying, held up by his friends; his family. He wasn’t sure who all had come to his side, didn’t know who wasn’t there for him, but in that moment it didn’t matter anymore.
Enough of them were there, holding him together.