I don't know whether to be jealous or horrified
I have been watching the latest season of Biggest Loser: Couples on Hulu. I'm a few episodes behind; the other day I watched the episode where the contestants, 8 weeks into their stay at the ranch, get to go home for a two-week visit with their families and friends.
Now, some of them--like Rulon and maybe one of the other guys--have already lost over 100 pounds. But a number of them have lost about what I have lost--60-something pounds. Granted, they haven't been at it as long as I have. But anyway.
In the episode I watched the other day, there were huge screaming crowds waiting for everyone as they returned home. Contestants would come home to hordes of people who would just begin shrieking uncontrollably the instant they saw the new slimmer contestants. Family members would burst into tears. Girlfriends would scream at the top of their lungs. Children would jump up and down hysterically waving banners and flags.
So much attention. Adulation, adoration... like fans at a rock concert or something.
I've lost 60-something pounds. Who screams when I walk in a room? Who weeps with joy? Who jumps up and down hysterically?
No one.
My husband hasn't shed tear one, since my weight loss. Not a tear of joy, not a tear of sorrow, not a tear of anything. He's never told me I look good. Or pretty. Or prettier. Or better. He's never told me how happy he is for me, or how proud he is of me, or anything. Only one of my friends has told me I look good. One.
What do I want? Screams? Hysteria? Noooo, I don't think I do. That kind of attention makes me--well, I've never had it, but the idea horrifies me.
Having said that, I *am* kinda jealous at all the attention the contestants got when they went home. I guess I want something in-between nothing and everything. I guess in a way that's what I've gotten--one person is totally supportive and a great cheerleader, a few people are pretty unimpressed and unmoved, and lots of people fall somewhere in between. I think if Mark were one of the supportive, enthusiastic people, I wouldn't be posting this. So, I think the real problem here is Mark's lack of enthusiasm and support for my weight loss.
Well, DUH!
Now, some of them--like Rulon and maybe one of the other guys--have already lost over 100 pounds. But a number of them have lost about what I have lost--60-something pounds. Granted, they haven't been at it as long as I have. But anyway.
In the episode I watched the other day, there were huge screaming crowds waiting for everyone as they returned home. Contestants would come home to hordes of people who would just begin shrieking uncontrollably the instant they saw the new slimmer contestants. Family members would burst into tears. Girlfriends would scream at the top of their lungs. Children would jump up and down hysterically waving banners and flags.
So much attention. Adulation, adoration... like fans at a rock concert or something.
I've lost 60-something pounds. Who screams when I walk in a room? Who weeps with joy? Who jumps up and down hysterically?
No one.
My husband hasn't shed tear one, since my weight loss. Not a tear of joy, not a tear of sorrow, not a tear of anything. He's never told me I look good. Or pretty. Or prettier. Or better. He's never told me how happy he is for me, or how proud he is of me, or anything. Only one of my friends has told me I look good. One.
What do I want? Screams? Hysteria? Noooo, I don't think I do. That kind of attention makes me--well, I've never had it, but the idea horrifies me.
Having said that, I *am* kinda jealous at all the attention the contestants got when they went home. I guess I want something in-between nothing and everything. I guess in a way that's what I've gotten--one person is totally supportive and a great cheerleader, a few people are pretty unimpressed and unmoved, and lots of people fall somewhere in between. I think if Mark were one of the supportive, enthusiastic people, I wouldn't be posting this. So, I think the real problem here is Mark's lack of enthusiasm and support for my weight loss.
Well, DUH!