Finally... (Sorry about the delay.)
Does this count as 500 words, alex_beecroft? I didn't write all of them tonight, but I did work on something! That counts...right? ;) I also did 300 words or so of the AU too.
Title: The Very Secret Diary of Andrew Gillette, RN (or The Secret Life of a Navy Fanboy)
Rating: R, maybe NC-17...What can I say, Andrew has a vivid imagination!
Pairing: Gillington primarily, but many others.
Author's Note: This is a continuation of the Very Secret Diary Series. Norrington's is seen here.
Jun 1
Dark Knight became Commodore today. He looked fucking sexy, swinging his sword about like he knew how to use it. *licks lips* Use it Norrie, use it.
And oh yes, he also proposed to Twiggy but the witch woman fell of the battlements. Unfortunately she did not fall on the rocks and die. WHY GOD WHY? Instead she had the temerity to be rescued by a pirate. I suspect she wanted to fuck him right there, though why she would when there was a Commodore looking all sexy and hot to be buggered, I have no idea.
Then Dark Knight requested I fetch some irons and I nearly squeed myself to death for the possibility of Kinky!Irons!Buggery! Unfortunately...as I quickly found out, it appeared that he intended them for the pirate instead. Damn it. OMG, I just thought of something. Does he lust after the pirate? Why not me? I mean, I'm right here, with a pert arse and everything! And I wash daily! :( All he'd have to say is "Bend over Andrew and I'd-"
*cough* Sorry about that, I got a bit...distracted. Back to what was happening...
Then the pirate escaped and we all had to run all over town (In a manly manner of course.) only to find him buggering young Turner, as if anyone doubted the whelp was gay...
Note to self: Watch Dark Knight to make sure he doesn't want to go down and bugger pirate.
Evening
More pirates attacked Fort. Then Twiggy got kidnapped and the Governor wants us to go after her so...we're getting ready to sail despite me advising that we not waste our time.
2 Jun
Gay Blacksmith ruined our pretty map. Then he and the pirate made me give up my boat! *pouts* I tried to start a wet t-shirt contest to distract Dark Knight, but he seems more sad about the boat. *cries* Why doesn't he want to bugger ME????
3 Jun
I came up with a brilliant idea during a dream (Note to self: Excellent plotbunnie, write it by next Hot Cannons Meeting.) that I could find my way into Dark Knight's affections by offering him certain special services during long and hard voyages. T agrees that starting by being buggery buddies will surely make Dark Knight forget about Twiggy.
Later: I asked Dark Knight if I could do anything for him. He didn't say anything at first, as if he had to think it over. I grew excited (And I mean excited.) to the point of nearly bursting. Then he completely ruined the moment by asking me to do the bloody reports on Twiggy's fucking disappearance.
Why God, did you let her miss the rocks? Really, can I get one bloody break from you?
4 Jun
Dark Knight asked me if I knew how many pickled peppers one man could reasonably pick. I think the sun may be getting to him.
5 Jun
I received the oddest note today:
Andru,
Sexi Comdor is Sexi. Hrd Yrdarm is Hrd. It be buggr tiem nao, Y/N?
Urs,
J
6 Jun
We found the Governor's daughter. Dark Knight yielded to her shrewish demands to find Gay Blacksmith and she agreed to marry him, despite the fact we all know she got some last night from the pirate. I suggested quietly that the surgeon look over her for certain diseases pirates are known to carry. There will be no strange red welts on my Norrielove's cock if I can help it!
I think I'd jump off the ship to get Dark Knight to notice me...if I hadn't already tried that before.
8 Jun
I'll never go outside when the moon is out ever again. *shudder* Must remember to get new hat...
25 Jun
Twiggy ran off with Gay Blacksmith and the pirate, cementing the fact that she is the stupidest woman in existence for giving up what has to be mindblowingly hot sex with Dark Knight. Dark Knight looked devastated so I subtly offered to give him a blow job to distract him...I'm not sure he quite got my meaning though as he kept murmuring about polishing yardarms. I assured him I would get a sailor on it immediately and left. I think I heard him crying. Poor lovely sex dream of a man...
26 Jun
I submitted my latest scribblings, titled "Swords of Steel, Cocks of Gold", to the Hot Cannons Members. Pyrat_whor commented that chapter four was and I quote from his written note "Fucking Hot!" I am pleased with the reception, with the exception of No_Lyes who thought Jack Sparrow should have feature more. I informed him to please read the warnings I wrote at the top first and that there's a reason we call it Gillington...
27 Jun
Pyrat_whor has told me that Dark Knight is inquiring about the stories I've written, that we've all written. I think the mids were caught with it. Damn it all to hell, that's why we should have age restrictions. Oh God, what if he hates them? What if he finds out I've written them? Oh God, the depravities I've written him doing to my person! The sheer erotic depravities he's done to me!
Later...
Of course, should he ever offer to reenact said depravities...*shakes head* It'll never happen.
29 Jun
Pyrat_whor just submitted...I can't say what. It's too horrible. Too horrible. My eyes.
30 Jun
Dark Knight called me into his office and inquired about the stories. I quickly stammered out that it does not technically violate Article 29 if you really think on it, and... Dark Knight appeared unconvinced, so I decided to distract him with a massage. I must have been really good because he kept on ordering me to do it harder...Well, he actually only said 'hard' but I got the point.
4 Jul
Dark Knight keeps staring at me. I think he knows about what I've been writing. Oddly enough that just makes me want him to punish me for it, long and fast and hard. Over his desk. With the entire crew of the Dauntless watching. He'd thrust into me like a wild man, spanking my firm bottom for every transgression I'd ever done, calling me dirty names that everyone in Port Royal could hear. I'd beg him to do go HARDER and HARDER! He'd tease me, trying to prolong it before pounding into me over and over and over...
[Ink smears makes writing illegible at this point.]
*blink* Oh dear, I've seemed to have made a mess of the paper.
5 Jul
Pyrat_whor had a long conference with Dark Knight. I bet pyrat_whor shagged him. Pyrat_whor shags everybody. I decided to throttle him when he came out of the office for daring to touch my Commodore. Instead he taught me how to do a strip tease. I figured fair is fair and let him go.
7 Jul
Dark Knight called me into his office and asked point blank if I was Norries_luvr, author of such meta as "Article 29: Just a Guideline", the stories "Lieutenants are a Commodore's Best Friend", and "Bend Me Over Big Boy." I didn't know what to say. I just stood there for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction before finally saying "To hell with it, I'll be hung for it anyway!" and snogging him. Afterward, he appeared pleased. In fact, he claimed to be my biggest fan! *SQUEE*
8 Jul
Introduced Dark Knight to Big Red. He seemed pleased to make his acquaintance.
Title: The Very Secret Diary of Andrew Gillette, RN (or The Secret Life of a Navy Fanboy)
Rating: R, maybe NC-17...What can I say, Andrew has a vivid imagination!
Pairing: Gillington primarily, but many others.
Author's Note: This is a continuation of the Very Secret Diary Series. Norrington's is seen here.
Jun 1
Dark Knight became Commodore today. He looked fucking sexy, swinging his sword about like he knew how to use it. *licks lips* Use it Norrie, use it.
And oh yes, he also proposed to Twiggy but the witch woman fell of the battlements. Unfortunately she did not fall on the rocks and die. WHY GOD WHY? Instead she had the temerity to be rescued by a pirate. I suspect she wanted to fuck him right there, though why she would when there was a Commodore looking all sexy and hot to be buggered, I have no idea.
Then Dark Knight requested I fetch some irons and I nearly squeed myself to death for the possibility of Kinky!Irons!Buggery! Unfortunately...as I quickly found out, it appeared that he intended them for the pirate instead. Damn it. OMG, I just thought of something. Does he lust after the pirate? Why not me? I mean, I'm right here, with a pert arse and everything! And I wash daily! :( All he'd have to say is "Bend over Andrew and I'd-"
*cough* Sorry about that, I got a bit...distracted. Back to what was happening...
Then the pirate escaped and we all had to run all over town (In a manly manner of course.) only to find him buggering young Turner, as if anyone doubted the whelp was gay...
Note to self: Watch Dark Knight to make sure he doesn't want to go down and bugger pirate.
Evening
More pirates attacked Fort. Then Twiggy got kidnapped and the Governor wants us to go after her so...we're getting ready to sail despite me advising that we not waste our time.
2 Jun
Gay Blacksmith ruined our pretty map. Then he and the pirate made me give up my boat! *pouts* I tried to start a wet t-shirt contest to distract Dark Knight, but he seems more sad about the boat. *cries* Why doesn't he want to bugger ME????
3 Jun
I came up with a brilliant idea during a dream (Note to self: Excellent plotbunnie, write it by next Hot Cannons Meeting.) that I could find my way into Dark Knight's affections by offering him certain special services during long and hard voyages. T agrees that starting by being buggery buddies will surely make Dark Knight forget about Twiggy.
Later: I asked Dark Knight if I could do anything for him. He didn't say anything at first, as if he had to think it over. I grew excited (And I mean excited.) to the point of nearly bursting. Then he completely ruined the moment by asking me to do the bloody reports on Twiggy's fucking disappearance.
Why God, did you let her miss the rocks? Really, can I get one bloody break from you?
4 Jun
Dark Knight asked me if I knew how many pickled peppers one man could reasonably pick. I think the sun may be getting to him.
5 Jun
I received the oddest note today:
Andru,
Sexi Comdor is Sexi. Hrd Yrdarm is Hrd. It be buggr tiem nao, Y/N?
Urs,
J
6 Jun
We found the Governor's daughter. Dark Knight yielded to her shrewish demands to find Gay Blacksmith and she agreed to marry him, despite the fact we all know she got some last night from the pirate. I suggested quietly that the surgeon look over her for certain diseases pirates are known to carry. There will be no strange red welts on my Norrielove's cock if I can help it!
I think I'd jump off the ship to get Dark Knight to notice me...if I hadn't already tried that before.
8 Jun
I'll never go outside when the moon is out ever again. *shudder* Must remember to get new hat...
25 Jun
Twiggy ran off with Gay Blacksmith and the pirate, cementing the fact that she is the stupidest woman in existence for giving up what has to be mindblowingly hot sex with Dark Knight. Dark Knight looked devastated so I subtly offered to give him a blow job to distract him...I'm not sure he quite got my meaning though as he kept murmuring about polishing yardarms. I assured him I would get a sailor on it immediately and left. I think I heard him crying. Poor lovely sex dream of a man...
26 Jun
I submitted my latest scribblings, titled "Swords of Steel, Cocks of Gold", to the Hot Cannons Members. Pyrat_whor commented that chapter four was and I quote from his written note "Fucking Hot!" I am pleased with the reception, with the exception of No_Lyes who thought Jack Sparrow should have feature more. I informed him to please read the warnings I wrote at the top first and that there's a reason we call it Gillington...
27 Jun
Pyrat_whor has told me that Dark Knight is inquiring about the stories I've written, that we've all written. I think the mids were caught with it. Damn it all to hell, that's why we should have age restrictions. Oh God, what if he hates them? What if he finds out I've written them? Oh God, the depravities I've written him doing to my person! The sheer erotic depravities he's done to me!
Later...
Of course, should he ever offer to reenact said depravities...*shakes head* It'll never happen.
29 Jun
Pyrat_whor just submitted...I can't say what. It's too horrible. Too horrible. My eyes.
30 Jun
Dark Knight called me into his office and inquired about the stories. I quickly stammered out that it does not technically violate Article 29 if you really think on it, and... Dark Knight appeared unconvinced, so I decided to distract him with a massage. I must have been really good because he kept on ordering me to do it harder...Well, he actually only said 'hard' but I got the point.
4 Jul
Dark Knight keeps staring at me. I think he knows about what I've been writing. Oddly enough that just makes me want him to punish me for it, long and fast and hard. Over his desk. With the entire crew of the Dauntless watching. He'd thrust into me like a wild man, spanking my firm bottom for every transgression I'd ever done, calling me dirty names that everyone in Port Royal could hear. I'd beg him to do go HARDER and HARDER! He'd tease me, trying to prolong it before pounding into me over and over and over...
[Ink smears makes writing illegible at this point.]
*blink* Oh dear, I've seemed to have made a mess of the paper.
5 Jul
Pyrat_whor had a long conference with Dark Knight. I bet pyrat_whor shagged him. Pyrat_whor shags everybody. I decided to throttle him when he came out of the office for daring to touch my Commodore. Instead he taught me how to do a strip tease. I figured fair is fair and let him go.
7 Jul
Dark Knight called me into his office and asked point blank if I was Norries_luvr, author of such meta as "Article 29: Just a Guideline", the stories "Lieutenants are a Commodore's Best Friend", and "Bend Me Over Big Boy." I didn't know what to say. I just stood there for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction before finally saying "To hell with it, I'll be hung for it anyway!" and snogging him. Afterward, he appeared pleased. In fact, he claimed to be my biggest fan! *SQUEE*
8 Jul
Introduced Dark Knight to Big Red. He seemed pleased to make his acquaintance.