Three Steps from Hell
Title: Three Steps from Hell
Pairing: Jaesu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama, angst
Summary: When does interest become obsession? When does want become addiction? Junsu hated himself for it. He hated himself for needing, wanting, wishing for the other. He knew it was all just so wrong. For tiffani_88 !!!
There is a line, a line that he knows he could never cross. But day after day he see's himself drawing closer and closer to that line. It was tearing him up inside. He knows what's beyond that line, and he terrified to venture forth. He's scared of what will happen after he is beyond that line, because beyond that line is a place from which he could never escape.
He knows he's three steps from Hell.
Everyday is a battle to stay away, everyday is a battle fighting his way back from that unholy sin. Everyday he prays to the god that's supposed to help him. And he sits on the floor, his hands clasped together tightly in a prayer, in the hopes that it would save him from himself. He's asking for answers and praying for forgiveness as tears run down his cherub like face. He wants to be saved. They say prays always help but it's only driving him closer to the edge. Making him second guess his faith and all things he had known to be good, and he's left with nothing as he sits alone on the floor.
This man, he thinks, will be the death of him. This man he continues to lust after day by day, and night by night. This man named Kim Jaejoong. He continues to watch him absentmindedly; from the line of his neck, to the plumpness of his lips, to the darkness of his eyes, and he can't look away. His mind travels to things he knows he shouldn't think of and it's killing him. Just watching, staring, and knowing he could never do anything about it was too much. And he's at the end of his third step and moving closer to the edge.
He's alone now, the others are busy doing their own thing and Junsu doesn't really care. He needs his alone time now, so he sits on the sofa, his knees tucked under his chin as he stares at the television he is hardly able to pay attention to. His mind is elsewhere, trying to distract him from the thoughts that have been flooding his mind more than usual lately, and the prayers don’t help.
He doesn't hear the footsteps coming down the hall until the source is in front of him. Half naked and dripping wet with a towel hanging precariously off the curve of his hip. And Junsu bites his lip and clenches his fists hard enough to feel blunt nails dig into the palms of his hands. And he can't help but think the pain is a good distraction. It distracts him from the sinful thoughts that plague his mind.
"Junsu?" Jaejoong calls, and god Junsu could just get off at the sound of his voice alone.
"Junsu?" He calls again because the other is to distracted listening to his voice to actual hear what he's saying.
"Junsu!" He shouts catching the other's attention. When he looks up he tries to not to look at anything but his face. But that doesn't help.
"What's wrong with you? Shit Junsu, your bleeding! What the hell?" Jaejoong rushes over to expect the other's face. His hand on the curve of his jaw to examine the bloodied bite mark on Junsu's lip. "What did you do?" He asks and Junsu's still too distracted to hear his question. Too busy shivering at the warmth of his touch. He was so close, their breaths mingled warm against his lips, just inches apart. Junsu wanted so badly to close that small gap, but he couldn't move, couldn't let go of his stubborn beliefs to do so.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from those sinfully full lips no matter how hard he tried. They were so close he could almost taste them. And he watches helplessly as he sees a tinge of pink peak through those lips as it often does, and Junsu finds himself subconsciously licking his own and tasting his own blood.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" The question is blunt and calm and Junsu couldn't help but hear it that time.
"Do what? What are you talking about?" His face is the innocent one people have come to know.
"You know what I'm talking about Junsu. I just don't know why you do it."
"I'm not doing anything. If your talking about my lip, it was an accident. You know how I can be sometimes." Junsu chuckles and tries his best to put on that bright reassuring smile and it hurt so goddamn much to do so.
He felt Jaejoong sigh against his mouth as if he had given up. Junsu is partly relived, he has avoided a situation he should never have got involved in. He knows he could never tell Jaejoong what he's feeling. He could never tell the latter that he loves him. He could never have any of that and he feared he would have to live with this sin for the rest of his life if it didn't kill him first.
Jaejoong stood from where he crouched in front of Junsu. His legs stretching as he towered over the younger one sitting on the couch. And Junsu was drawn back to his body, his chest, his muscles, they glistened from the water still dripping down from his hair. His nipples hard and erect from the draft and Junsu felt his pants tighten as his erection strained against the fabric of his sweat pants. It was true, this man was a god, and a sin.
"Hurry up and hop in the shower, Junsu. It's getting late." Jaejoong said as he ran his hand though his dark locks. And Junsu mumbled something incoherent before standing up and quickly making his way towards the bathroom before his problem was noticed. Everything about this was wrong and forbidden and it was slowly killing him.
He stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door before he made his way to the shower and turning it on full force. Stripping himself of his clothes he looked in the mirror and what he saw was a man who was hiding form himself. This had been the Junsu no one knows about. The one who hides everything behind smiles and boisterous laughs so no one asks him anymore questions. That was how he got away from it in the past., and that was how he would continue to get away with it.
When his family would ask him about any girlfriends he'd smile and laugh it off claiming he didn't have time. When his friends would sit and debate on which girl was hotter he'd pretend to be all flustered as if he was too innocent to know. But it was all fake, just an act so no one would really questioned why he has never had a girlfriend. So no one would really know that he was living in a sin he could never escape for a love that would forever be forbidden.
He steps into the coldness of the shower, trying not to gasp as the sudden cold droplets that hit his still red and aching member. But it doesn't help and only makes him shudder from the chill. His mind is still on Jaejoong. He can't seem to think about anything else no matter how hard he tries. His thoughts are flooded with the man in every way, shape, and form he can imagine. And without thinking, his hand reaches down to grasp his hard and yearning cock.
He doesn't think, he just does it. Running his free hand up and down his shaft in slow torturing motions as the other supports himself against the wall. He quickens his pace just slightly, moving to the head to squeeze it lightly and running a finger over the slit. He gasps and lets out a shuddered moan and quickens his pace even more. He touches himself and imagines it's Jaejoong, imagine it's Jaejoong's hand that's pumping his shaft and letting these strangled moans escape his throat.
He knows it's so wrong in every sense of the word. He shouldn't be having any sort of thoughts like these towards any man, but now he was too far gone to care. He was just glad the shower was there to mask the tears as they streamed down his face and into the drain. If only the shower could wash away his sins as well. And now he knew he was at the end of the second step, just moving closer and closer to hell.
Junsu was close now. He felt the tingling sensation gathering in his belly and moving down to his release. He was feeling as if he could explode any second, but no matter how much he wanted to, he was scared to, only because of the reason. He was too far gone to hear the bathroom door open. He was so close he couldn't even feel as another presence entered the shower with him as he choked out the name of the man he's been imagining. He didn't know anything until he felt another hand join the rapid pumping of his own member. He gasped and jumped back, colliding with a hard wet body and something hard poking into his thigh.
"J-Jaejoong?" Junsu questioned in surprise when he looked back to see the other man standing close behind him, his eyes hooded and shrouded with lust it sent shivers down his spine. "Shhh…" Jaejoong whispers into his ear and trailing his lips lightly down the other neck. He shudders again, at just the sensation of him being so near. He doesn't think about how wrong it is, but how good it feels to have his erection rubbing against his inner thighs.
He moans, and feels as though he's giving up and leans his head back on Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong sucks, and licks, and laps his tongue along the column of Junsu's neck biting down lightly on his shoulder. Junsu shudders and lets out a dangerously low moan and he can only think, This can't be real. There was no way, not even in hell that this was happening. That couldn't be Jaejoong's hand slowly snaking its way up and down Junsu's chest, toying with his nipples until moving down to his aching shaft.
That couldn't be Jaejoong stroking him, whispering into his hear, "I know this is what you want." There was no way the other man was pressed so tightly against his back that he could feel the other's erection rubbing impatiently against the cleft of his ass. It was all too good or to bad to be true. It must be the work of the devil, toying with him, letting his imagination run just a little too wild to push him that extra step over the edge and into his burning hell.
"Do you want me?" Jaejoong whispers huskily into his ears, barely inaudible over the spray of the shower. And Junsu has lost it, this just feels way to real to be his imagination, way too good to be anything but. At this point, he isn't thinking again, and just gives in. No matter how much his mind is screaming at him not to, that this is wrong, he doesn't hear anything but Jaejoong's panted breath against his shoulder. He doesn't feel anything but the needy rubbing of his cock against his thigh.
"Yes. Fuck me. Please." Junsu says between panted breaths and pushes his ass back against Jaejoong's groin, his hand still supporting him against the wall. "I need you now, please Jaejoong." He's begging now and he can't bring himself to care. He can't bring himself to think or care about anything else but this.
"Are you sure, Junsu? It'll hurt…" Jaejoong says against his shoulder but doesn't stop his needy humping. Junsu nodded, "I just need you now, only you." And it was true. The pain couldn't be nearly as bad as the ache he had in his heart before. He was ready, he wanted this.
Jaejoong nodded vaguely before bringing his hand back and inserting a finger into the tight muscles of Junsu's ass. Junsu bit back a scream and shut his eyes at the sudden intrusion. He tried to relax as Jaejoong inserted another finger, and then another, stretching him for what was coming. "I need you… now." Junsu whined pushing back against the fingers needing something bigger inside him.
Jaejoong did just that. He removed his fingers, placing his hand on the latter's waist as he positioned himself at Junsu's begging entrance. Without much hesitation he pushed in slowly, stopping for a moment to let Junsu adjust and relax. "I'm not going to break." Junsu said, "Just fuck me now!" Jaejoong didn't hesitate again as he almost fully pulled out before thrusting back sharply into Junsu's tight hole. Junsu howled in pleasure, throwing his head back and letting the shower run down his neck and body.
Jaejoong had taken that as a sign he was hitting the right spot and he thrusted again at the same angle. Over and over again, Junsu moaned and shouted his name and Jaejoong continued to fuck him mindlessly. The only sound that could be heard was the splashing of the shower, their moans, and the continuous slapping of wet skin against wet skin. The feeling was intoxicating, being filled and fucked so thoroughly by the man he's been dreaming about was all too good. Jaejoong continued to thrust harder and faster inside of him, hitting his prostate every time. By his pace and rapid thrusts, Junsu could tell the other was close coming close to his climax, and he wasn't far behind himself.
He was feeling that familiar heat pooling and coiling in the pits of his stomach and he was so fucking close he could feel it. Only this time he wasn't afraid, or ashamed. He only wanted to reach his climax more than anything else. One more sharp thrust and he could feel Jaejoong's seed spill inside of him and fill him so completely dribbling warm down his thighs, and he wondered how anything that felt so fucking good, could be so wrong.
Hearing Jaejoong's throaty moan in his ear was enough for Junsu to reach his climax, sparks bursting behind his eyes and he's spilling his seed against the shower wall and watching it wash down the drain. They stood there, breathless for awhile under the cool spray of the shower until they were able to catch their breaths.
Junsu didn't know what to think about anything that just happened. He realized and known he had just skipped past that last step and plunged himself into the pits of hell from his sinful act. There was no way he could be saved now, no matter how hard he prayed. But he knew if all of this was so fucking wrong, there was no way in hell he'd ever want to be right.
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A/N: First smut I've written in almost a year, so yeah... it's rusty! >.< This is kind of like "The Sweetest Sin" Jaesu fic I wrote, but with more smut! xD Anyhoo... comments are always very much loved and appreciated. Two requests down, eleven more to go! PLEASE COMMENT!!! :D
Pairing: Jaesu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama, angst
Summary: When does interest become obsession? When does want become addiction? Junsu hated himself for it. He hated himself for needing, wanting, wishing for the other. He knew it was all just so wrong. For tiffani_88 !!!
There is a line, a line that he knows he could never cross. But day after day he see's himself drawing closer and closer to that line. It was tearing him up inside. He knows what's beyond that line, and he terrified to venture forth. He's scared of what will happen after he is beyond that line, because beyond that line is a place from which he could never escape.
He knows he's three steps from Hell.
Everyday is a battle to stay away, everyday is a battle fighting his way back from that unholy sin. Everyday he prays to the god that's supposed to help him. And he sits on the floor, his hands clasped together tightly in a prayer, in the hopes that it would save him from himself. He's asking for answers and praying for forgiveness as tears run down his cherub like face. He wants to be saved. They say prays always help but it's only driving him closer to the edge. Making him second guess his faith and all things he had known to be good, and he's left with nothing as he sits alone on the floor.
This man, he thinks, will be the death of him. This man he continues to lust after day by day, and night by night. This man named Kim Jaejoong. He continues to watch him absentmindedly; from the line of his neck, to the plumpness of his lips, to the darkness of his eyes, and he can't look away. His mind travels to things he knows he shouldn't think of and it's killing him. Just watching, staring, and knowing he could never do anything about it was too much. And he's at the end of his third step and moving closer to the edge.
He's alone now, the others are busy doing their own thing and Junsu doesn't really care. He needs his alone time now, so he sits on the sofa, his knees tucked under his chin as he stares at the television he is hardly able to pay attention to. His mind is elsewhere, trying to distract him from the thoughts that have been flooding his mind more than usual lately, and the prayers don’t help.
He doesn't hear the footsteps coming down the hall until the source is in front of him. Half naked and dripping wet with a towel hanging precariously off the curve of his hip. And Junsu bites his lip and clenches his fists hard enough to feel blunt nails dig into the palms of his hands. And he can't help but think the pain is a good distraction. It distracts him from the sinful thoughts that plague his mind.
"Junsu?" Jaejoong calls, and god Junsu could just get off at the sound of his voice alone.
"Junsu?" He calls again because the other is to distracted listening to his voice to actual hear what he's saying.
"Junsu!" He shouts catching the other's attention. When he looks up he tries to not to look at anything but his face. But that doesn't help.
"What's wrong with you? Shit Junsu, your bleeding! What the hell?" Jaejoong rushes over to expect the other's face. His hand on the curve of his jaw to examine the bloodied bite mark on Junsu's lip. "What did you do?" He asks and Junsu's still too distracted to hear his question. Too busy shivering at the warmth of his touch. He was so close, their breaths mingled warm against his lips, just inches apart. Junsu wanted so badly to close that small gap, but he couldn't move, couldn't let go of his stubborn beliefs to do so.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from those sinfully full lips no matter how hard he tried. They were so close he could almost taste them. And he watches helplessly as he sees a tinge of pink peak through those lips as it often does, and Junsu finds himself subconsciously licking his own and tasting his own blood.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" The question is blunt and calm and Junsu couldn't help but hear it that time.
"Do what? What are you talking about?" His face is the innocent one people have come to know.
"You know what I'm talking about Junsu. I just don't know why you do it."
"I'm not doing anything. If your talking about my lip, it was an accident. You know how I can be sometimes." Junsu chuckles and tries his best to put on that bright reassuring smile and it hurt so goddamn much to do so.
He felt Jaejoong sigh against his mouth as if he had given up. Junsu is partly relived, he has avoided a situation he should never have got involved in. He knows he could never tell Jaejoong what he's feeling. He could never tell the latter that he loves him. He could never have any of that and he feared he would have to live with this sin for the rest of his life if it didn't kill him first.
Jaejoong stood from where he crouched in front of Junsu. His legs stretching as he towered over the younger one sitting on the couch. And Junsu was drawn back to his body, his chest, his muscles, they glistened from the water still dripping down from his hair. His nipples hard and erect from the draft and Junsu felt his pants tighten as his erection strained against the fabric of his sweat pants. It was true, this man was a god, and a sin.
"Hurry up and hop in the shower, Junsu. It's getting late." Jaejoong said as he ran his hand though his dark locks. And Junsu mumbled something incoherent before standing up and quickly making his way towards the bathroom before his problem was noticed. Everything about this was wrong and forbidden and it was slowly killing him.
He stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door before he made his way to the shower and turning it on full force. Stripping himself of his clothes he looked in the mirror and what he saw was a man who was hiding form himself. This had been the Junsu no one knows about. The one who hides everything behind smiles and boisterous laughs so no one asks him anymore questions. That was how he got away from it in the past., and that was how he would continue to get away with it.
When his family would ask him about any girlfriends he'd smile and laugh it off claiming he didn't have time. When his friends would sit and debate on which girl was hotter he'd pretend to be all flustered as if he was too innocent to know. But it was all fake, just an act so no one would really questioned why he has never had a girlfriend. So no one would really know that he was living in a sin he could never escape for a love that would forever be forbidden.
He steps into the coldness of the shower, trying not to gasp as the sudden cold droplets that hit his still red and aching member. But it doesn't help and only makes him shudder from the chill. His mind is still on Jaejoong. He can't seem to think about anything else no matter how hard he tries. His thoughts are flooded with the man in every way, shape, and form he can imagine. And without thinking, his hand reaches down to grasp his hard and yearning cock.
He doesn't think, he just does it. Running his free hand up and down his shaft in slow torturing motions as the other supports himself against the wall. He quickens his pace just slightly, moving to the head to squeeze it lightly and running a finger over the slit. He gasps and lets out a shuddered moan and quickens his pace even more. He touches himself and imagines it's Jaejoong, imagine it's Jaejoong's hand that's pumping his shaft and letting these strangled moans escape his throat.
He knows it's so wrong in every sense of the word. He shouldn't be having any sort of thoughts like these towards any man, but now he was too far gone to care. He was just glad the shower was there to mask the tears as they streamed down his face and into the drain. If only the shower could wash away his sins as well. And now he knew he was at the end of the second step, just moving closer and closer to hell.
Junsu was close now. He felt the tingling sensation gathering in his belly and moving down to his release. He was feeling as if he could explode any second, but no matter how much he wanted to, he was scared to, only because of the reason. He was too far gone to hear the bathroom door open. He was so close he couldn't even feel as another presence entered the shower with him as he choked out the name of the man he's been imagining. He didn't know anything until he felt another hand join the rapid pumping of his own member. He gasped and jumped back, colliding with a hard wet body and something hard poking into his thigh.
"J-Jaejoong?" Junsu questioned in surprise when he looked back to see the other man standing close behind him, his eyes hooded and shrouded with lust it sent shivers down his spine. "Shhh…" Jaejoong whispers into his ear and trailing his lips lightly down the other neck. He shudders again, at just the sensation of him being so near. He doesn't think about how wrong it is, but how good it feels to have his erection rubbing against his inner thighs.
He moans, and feels as though he's giving up and leans his head back on Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong sucks, and licks, and laps his tongue along the column of Junsu's neck biting down lightly on his shoulder. Junsu shudders and lets out a dangerously low moan and he can only think, This can't be real. There was no way, not even in hell that this was happening. That couldn't be Jaejoong's hand slowly snaking its way up and down Junsu's chest, toying with his nipples until moving down to his aching shaft.
That couldn't be Jaejoong stroking him, whispering into his hear, "I know this is what you want." There was no way the other man was pressed so tightly against his back that he could feel the other's erection rubbing impatiently against the cleft of his ass. It was all too good or to bad to be true. It must be the work of the devil, toying with him, letting his imagination run just a little too wild to push him that extra step over the edge and into his burning hell.
"Do you want me?" Jaejoong whispers huskily into his ears, barely inaudible over the spray of the shower. And Junsu has lost it, this just feels way to real to be his imagination, way too good to be anything but. At this point, he isn't thinking again, and just gives in. No matter how much his mind is screaming at him not to, that this is wrong, he doesn't hear anything but Jaejoong's panted breath against his shoulder. He doesn't feel anything but the needy rubbing of his cock against his thigh.
"Yes. Fuck me. Please." Junsu says between panted breaths and pushes his ass back against Jaejoong's groin, his hand still supporting him against the wall. "I need you now, please Jaejoong." He's begging now and he can't bring himself to care. He can't bring himself to think or care about anything else but this.
"Are you sure, Junsu? It'll hurt…" Jaejoong says against his shoulder but doesn't stop his needy humping. Junsu nodded, "I just need you now, only you." And it was true. The pain couldn't be nearly as bad as the ache he had in his heart before. He was ready, he wanted this.
Jaejoong nodded vaguely before bringing his hand back and inserting a finger into the tight muscles of Junsu's ass. Junsu bit back a scream and shut his eyes at the sudden intrusion. He tried to relax as Jaejoong inserted another finger, and then another, stretching him for what was coming. "I need you… now." Junsu whined pushing back against the fingers needing something bigger inside him.
Jaejoong did just that. He removed his fingers, placing his hand on the latter's waist as he positioned himself at Junsu's begging entrance. Without much hesitation he pushed in slowly, stopping for a moment to let Junsu adjust and relax. "I'm not going to break." Junsu said, "Just fuck me now!" Jaejoong didn't hesitate again as he almost fully pulled out before thrusting back sharply into Junsu's tight hole. Junsu howled in pleasure, throwing his head back and letting the shower run down his neck and body.
Jaejoong had taken that as a sign he was hitting the right spot and he thrusted again at the same angle. Over and over again, Junsu moaned and shouted his name and Jaejoong continued to fuck him mindlessly. The only sound that could be heard was the splashing of the shower, their moans, and the continuous slapping of wet skin against wet skin. The feeling was intoxicating, being filled and fucked so thoroughly by the man he's been dreaming about was all too good. Jaejoong continued to thrust harder and faster inside of him, hitting his prostate every time. By his pace and rapid thrusts, Junsu could tell the other was close coming close to his climax, and he wasn't far behind himself.
He was feeling that familiar heat pooling and coiling in the pits of his stomach and he was so fucking close he could feel it. Only this time he wasn't afraid, or ashamed. He only wanted to reach his climax more than anything else. One more sharp thrust and he could feel Jaejoong's seed spill inside of him and fill him so completely dribbling warm down his thighs, and he wondered how anything that felt so fucking good, could be so wrong.
Hearing Jaejoong's throaty moan in his ear was enough for Junsu to reach his climax, sparks bursting behind his eyes and he's spilling his seed against the shower wall and watching it wash down the drain. They stood there, breathless for awhile under the cool spray of the shower until they were able to catch their breaths.
Junsu didn't know what to think about anything that just happened. He realized and known he had just skipped past that last step and plunged himself into the pits of hell from his sinful act. There was no way he could be saved now, no matter how hard he prayed. But he knew if all of this was so fucking wrong, there was no way in hell he'd ever want to be right.
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A/N: First smut I've written in almost a year, so yeah... it's rusty! >.< This is kind of like "The Sweetest Sin" Jaesu fic I wrote, but with more smut! xD Anyhoo... comments are always very much loved and appreciated. Two requests down, eleven more to go! PLEASE COMMENT!!! :D