fallen.
So.
You know that new attitude I said I was pulling off? Eh, not too good. In fact, everything is just as painful as before.
Now, today was a lot less painful, probably cause I kept my head up high and was in a *fairly* good mood today (since yesterday I took off for a 'mental health day') But, hell, I know this is either:
A) Going to get better in time (a long, long, long time)
B) Never get better, and I'll lose these people.
C) Blow up in my face completely.
And I'm gonna go with C.
I'm not too sure what I'm hurt about exactly. I have mended some of my relationships with some old friends, but there are two guys that are eating away completely at my heart. And it HURTS. What can I do? One of them hurts to look at and doesn't talk to me at all (I don't know why) and the other...pretty much is the same. But he likes another girl. They are both my ex's, too.
So, I guess I deserved this. I think. But the ignoring?? Come ON! Am I THAT bad that people have to treat me like shit or run away? It hurts! Really hurts!
Whenever I try to talk to one of them, they give me excuses of why this is my fault. So, there's a civil option out.
I know I'm too good for *one* of them. It hurts so bad. I don't even know who I am when I walk down the hall.
Whatever. I made a facebook. So go look me up. I'm Lexie Mazzarulli. ADD ME. NOW.
Anyone wanna talk to me?
You know that new attitude I said I was pulling off? Eh, not too good. In fact, everything is just as painful as before.
Now, today was a lot less painful, probably cause I kept my head up high and was in a *fairly* good mood today (since yesterday I took off for a 'mental health day') But, hell, I know this is either:
A) Going to get better in time (a long, long, long time)
B) Never get better, and I'll lose these people.
C) Blow up in my face completely.
And I'm gonna go with C.
I'm not too sure what I'm hurt about exactly. I have mended some of my relationships with some old friends, but there are two guys that are eating away completely at my heart. And it HURTS. What can I do? One of them hurts to look at and doesn't talk to me at all (I don't know why) and the other...pretty much is the same. But he likes another girl. They are both my ex's, too.
So, I guess I deserved this. I think. But the ignoring?? Come ON! Am I THAT bad that people have to treat me like shit or run away? It hurts! Really hurts!
Whenever I try to talk to one of them, they give me excuses of why this is my fault. So, there's a civil option out.
I know I'm too good for *one* of them. It hurts so bad. I don't even know who I am when I walk down the hall.
Whatever. I made a facebook. So go look me up. I'm Lexie Mazzarulli. ADD ME. NOW.
Anyone wanna talk to me?