..babies really do eat your brains..
Nothing spectacular up here but this might be of interest to some of you guys. The first one is correct but Billy was off on the last one that was at 9 weeks. The first one was done early because I had some concerns and the second one was done at the regular first appointment. I loved my little peanut but I love my little bigfoot too. The second one wasn't the best picture. It was taken from a weird angle...trust me it was transvaginal and it definately felt amazingly weird. It looks like it has a small head and huge feet. I'm 12 weeks/ 3 months today. I have another appointment on the 4th and I'll be over 13weeks then. Unfortunately I'll still have to wait until the next appointment at 17weeks to see if it's a boy or girl. I definately want to know. I'd like to be able to try to think of one name instead of continuing to try to use my now limited brain capacity to think of two...babies really do eat your brains. Seriously though, I really do want to know. There will be enough uncertainties with all of the scanning and testing that biomedicine can provide that I'll take all the help I can get.
Other than all this, we'll be getting our or should be getting our new sofa and loveseat tomorrow. Yay! I can stretch out again. Woot! The base colour for the furniture is a treated olive green microfiber with accent pillows in a persian patterned brocade of reds, greens, dark blues or purples and several other colours. I really like it. It will be the first real burst of colour in my house. Even my wall scrolls and pottery are largely earthy or watercolour in nature. I really gets back to my wanting some substance. I have accepted that a large part of life is/can be seen as waiting, however, I would like some more substantial in my life. Its why I'm a housewife and pregnant now instead of continuing my education immedately. Its why I want to paint these damned white walls in this apartment. Its why I'm so mad at myself for wasting all this time I now have to do the more esoteric and crafting things that I've wanted to do. I don't really care that everything is transient. It can't fade away if it never passes from liminality into reality. And if all it takes for me to feel more "in" my life is a splash of colour, a bit of decoration and organization, to learn to sew better (maybe do yoga or dancing and learn to work more with hand thrown pottery [someday]) and to be a mother then that is what I will do. School wasn't satisfying me anymore and I'm not sure what will but I feel more sure now that before that for now it was time to move on. I quit having so many ideas, I quit loving the research...i just got good to doing the work and I think my papers started to reflect that. (so sorry) Anyway, so we get more tush cushions tomorrow...wheeeeeee!
I think that's about it. Time to go try to get rid of this headache.
Other than all this, we'll be getting our or should be getting our new sofa and loveseat tomorrow. Yay! I can stretch out again. Woot! The base colour for the furniture is a treated olive green microfiber with accent pillows in a persian patterned brocade of reds, greens, dark blues or purples and several other colours. I really like it. It will be the first real burst of colour in my house. Even my wall scrolls and pottery are largely earthy or watercolour in nature. I really gets back to my wanting some substance. I have accepted that a large part of life is/can be seen as waiting, however, I would like some more substantial in my life. Its why I'm a housewife and pregnant now instead of continuing my education immedately. Its why I want to paint these damned white walls in this apartment. Its why I'm so mad at myself for wasting all this time I now have to do the more esoteric and crafting things that I've wanted to do. I don't really care that everything is transient. It can't fade away if it never passes from liminality into reality. And if all it takes for me to feel more "in" my life is a splash of colour, a bit of decoration and organization, to learn to sew better (maybe do yoga or dancing and learn to work more with hand thrown pottery [someday]) and to be a mother then that is what I will do. School wasn't satisfying me anymore and I'm not sure what will but I feel more sure now that before that for now it was time to move on. I quit having so many ideas, I quit loving the research...i just got good to doing the work and I think my papers started to reflect that. (so sorry) Anyway, so we get more tush cushions tomorrow...wheeeeeee!
I think that's about it. Time to go try to get rid of this headache.