All I want
to do is cry. There is currently 4kids in my house. Two of mine, and two of my brother in laws. I'm exhausted, I don't feel good, and I want to cry.
We cant afford anything. Pretty much all of our tax money is gone and we haven't even gotten it, I mean it will be nice to start at 0 again. And not have all these bills. But come on, we try to help people and we get hit financially. His mother moved in, we are supporting her and ourselves, then Nathaniel came along and i had to drive 2hrs every cpl of days, the food while I was there coasted. Then Christmas, my husband was NOT going to let Matthew go without Christmas. And now two kids more to feed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. I want to scream and cry.
I am honestly loosing my mind. And its not like hes here to help. Still trying to get the paperwork for his compassionate reassignment. Nathaniel has doc appts, at least one a week, sometimes two a week. Then I have been having appts. I so want to be done with all of this.
I'm sitting here watching a smiley(on a forum, its a clown juggling), And its not making me smile or laugh or nothing. I;m blankly staring at it.
What to do?
Ive been praying and praying and putting faith in him, but I'm so worn out now that I'm losing faith, I know it sounds bad, and I know someone will say there is someone somewhere worse off than me and I'm sure there is, but BLAH! I think I'm handling all of this well... on the outside. This is the longest time Ive had so far to do anything. Dishes are all over, my room is a mess, I cant get a chance to clean. Ive been trying to sweep and mop for a week, and wanting to clean the bathrooms for a week to, and they still haven't been done. And when I want to sweep it rains, and I'm not going to mop knowing the dog is about to come in and make it a mess even tho I wipe her off. Her coat HOLDS dirt, shes inside at night and when you get up and walk threw the living room dirt holds onto your feet from where she was laying.
Someone make me smile.
My grandparents told me 2weeks ago about how I put up with a lot and how I hide it really well.
Done.
We cant afford anything. Pretty much all of our tax money is gone and we haven't even gotten it, I mean it will be nice to start at 0 again. And not have all these bills. But come on, we try to help people and we get hit financially. His mother moved in, we are supporting her and ourselves, then Nathaniel came along and i had to drive 2hrs every cpl of days, the food while I was there coasted. Then Christmas, my husband was NOT going to let Matthew go without Christmas. And now two kids more to feed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. I want to scream and cry.
I am honestly loosing my mind. And its not like hes here to help. Still trying to get the paperwork for his compassionate reassignment. Nathaniel has doc appts, at least one a week, sometimes two a week. Then I have been having appts. I so want to be done with all of this.
I'm sitting here watching a smiley(on a forum, its a clown juggling), And its not making me smile or laugh or nothing. I;m blankly staring at it.
What to do?
Ive been praying and praying and putting faith in him, but I'm so worn out now that I'm losing faith, I know it sounds bad, and I know someone will say there is someone somewhere worse off than me and I'm sure there is, but BLAH! I think I'm handling all of this well... on the outside. This is the longest time Ive had so far to do anything. Dishes are all over, my room is a mess, I cant get a chance to clean. Ive been trying to sweep and mop for a week, and wanting to clean the bathrooms for a week to, and they still haven't been done. And when I want to sweep it rains, and I'm not going to mop knowing the dog is about to come in and make it a mess even tho I wipe her off. Her coat HOLDS dirt, shes inside at night and when you get up and walk threw the living room dirt holds onto your feet from where she was laying.
Someone make me smile.
My grandparents told me 2weeks ago about how I put up with a lot and how I hide it really well.
Done.