The Value of Quitting
As you know, the Girl-O, she is very sporty. I am not. And yet I am the one with the flexible work schedule, so I do all the scheduling, arranging and chauffering of the Girl-O to her various games.
Unfortunately, I'm starting to realize that just showing up is not enough. Case in point, I'm on the outs with her current female baseball coach (and by extension, the rest of the assistant coaches, because this is very cliquish, you know) for insisting she let the Girl-O pitch in a game, as promised by her several times. I've tried diplomacy for several months, but at the last scheduled game yesterday, I verbalized my discontent. The whole story is too sordid to go into, but suffice it to say, Girl-O is not getting to pitch and I am persona non grata at the baseball diamond. So I sent an email saying that I realize that I'm naive about how childrens' organized sports works, but it's clear that I can't handle it emotionally, so I'm going to let my husband handle the communications instead.
I made no ad hominem comments in my email. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the coach, who was very offended by my words and attitude, and suggested that I am dampening my child's spirit and love of sports. Also, that I am "demanding and demeaning" and that I did not communicate the girl's desire to pitch (not so). Also, that I am teaching her to be a quitter, instead of "forging ahead when things get difficult".
Obviously, I'm upset. But also asking myself some hard questions. Am I a quitter? I quit my job at the hospital 6 years ago when it became clear that I couldn't work in that corporate environment. I recently quit the Jungian Analyst training in Toronto when I realized that a) they weren't letting me progress and b) it was taking too much of a toll on my family life. Is quitting a character fault or is it a skill to know when you're beat and to cut your losses. I remind myself that I didn't quit medical school, even though it was difficult (or psychiatry residency). So no, I don't think I'm a quitter by nature. Or am I? Anyway, here's link to a blog post on "The Value of Quitting". Enjoy.
Unfortunately, I'm starting to realize that just showing up is not enough. Case in point, I'm on the outs with her current female baseball coach (and by extension, the rest of the assistant coaches, because this is very cliquish, you know) for insisting she let the Girl-O pitch in a game, as promised by her several times. I've tried diplomacy for several months, but at the last scheduled game yesterday, I verbalized my discontent. The whole story is too sordid to go into, but suffice it to say, Girl-O is not getting to pitch and I am persona non grata at the baseball diamond. So I sent an email saying that I realize that I'm naive about how childrens' organized sports works, but it's clear that I can't handle it emotionally, so I'm going to let my husband handle the communications instead.
I made no ad hominem comments in my email. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the coach, who was very offended by my words and attitude, and suggested that I am dampening my child's spirit and love of sports. Also, that I am "demanding and demeaning" and that I did not communicate the girl's desire to pitch (not so). Also, that I am teaching her to be a quitter, instead of "forging ahead when things get difficult".
Obviously, I'm upset. But also asking myself some hard questions. Am I a quitter? I quit my job at the hospital 6 years ago when it became clear that I couldn't work in that corporate environment. I recently quit the Jungian Analyst training in Toronto when I realized that a) they weren't letting me progress and b) it was taking too much of a toll on my family life. Is quitting a character fault or is it a skill to know when you're beat and to cut your losses. I remind myself that I didn't quit medical school, even though it was difficult (or psychiatry residency). So no, I don't think I'm a quitter by nature. Or am I? Anyway, here's link to a blog post on "The Value of Quitting". Enjoy.