Morality play
Okay,
doc_mystery and I see the following situation a bit differently, so I thought I'd get other people's opinions on it.
Just wondering whether my 5 and a half year old daughter is on the right track with her moral development. I've been reading a little bit online about Piaget's and Kohlberg's ideas on the matter, but they are short on concrete examples.
Until now, I had thought the Girl-O was even a little advanced wrt developing empathy. When she was barely 4, she saw a particular Franklin episode where Franklin's friend, Snail (apparently, Franklin is the only one with a real name!) was crying about being too small and slow, and Franklin started crying too. Girl-O turns to me and said, "When someone cries and is sad, we're sad too, aren't we mommy?" In practice, at school and daycare, she is usually well-behaved and cooperative. She does complain a lot in the evening about kids who were not nice to her during the day, and talks about things not being fair, etc. etc., which I interpreted to mean she's figuring out about societal norms and rules.
Generally, the Girl-O is very nice to animals, but since we've acquired a cat, she's done some disturbing things. I've caught her kicking and hitting the cat (usually with a cat toy) a few times and although I've let her know, in no uncertain terms that it's not acceptable, I just left it at that and chalked it up to them playing too rough. Today, I mentioned to her that while I was having a bath, the cat (who is abnormally interested in water), was walking on the rim of my bath and accidentally fell in. So, after Girl-O's bath tonight, I was draining the bath, and the cat, as usual, became interested in the water spiraling down the drain and perched on the edge. Girl-O was in the bathroom at the time, brushing her teeth. I was just outside the bathroom when I heard a huge SPLASH...I looked in and there was the cat, soaked and clambering out. Coincidence? I think not!
I said, "Did you push Zoe into the bath?" "Nooo!" Girl-O said, but not with as much indignancy as I would expect if she were being falsely accused. Sure enough, a few minutes later she confessed. I gave her a time out, and withdrew one of her privledges for this week. She was sobbing, of course, but when I asked her later if she was sorry about Zoe, or sorry she got a punishment, she was more sorry about the punishment.
Apparently, young children do have a pretty concrete sense of morality (i.e. it's mostly about reward and punishment at this stage), but I was surprised that Girl-O didn't have more empathy for the cat. Afterall, she complains vociferously when she herself is pushed or kicked at school. So, is that age-appropriate, or what?
doc_mystery and I see the following situation a bit differently, so I thought I'd get other people's opinions on it.
Just wondering whether my 5 and a half year old daughter is on the right track with her moral development. I've been reading a little bit online about Piaget's and Kohlberg's ideas on the matter, but they are short on concrete examples.
Until now, I had thought the Girl-O was even a little advanced wrt developing empathy. When she was barely 4, she saw a particular Franklin episode where Franklin's friend, Snail (apparently, Franklin is the only one with a real name!) was crying about being too small and slow, and Franklin started crying too. Girl-O turns to me and said, "When someone cries and is sad, we're sad too, aren't we mommy?" In practice, at school and daycare, she is usually well-behaved and cooperative. She does complain a lot in the evening about kids who were not nice to her during the day, and talks about things not being fair, etc. etc., which I interpreted to mean she's figuring out about societal norms and rules.
Generally, the Girl-O is very nice to animals, but since we've acquired a cat, she's done some disturbing things. I've caught her kicking and hitting the cat (usually with a cat toy) a few times and although I've let her know, in no uncertain terms that it's not acceptable, I just left it at that and chalked it up to them playing too rough. Today, I mentioned to her that while I was having a bath, the cat (who is abnormally interested in water), was walking on the rim of my bath and accidentally fell in. So, after Girl-O's bath tonight, I was draining the bath, and the cat, as usual, became interested in the water spiraling down the drain and perched on the edge. Girl-O was in the bathroom at the time, brushing her teeth. I was just outside the bathroom when I heard a huge SPLASH...I looked in and there was the cat, soaked and clambering out. Coincidence? I think not!
I said, "Did you push Zoe into the bath?" "Nooo!" Girl-O said, but not with as much indignancy as I would expect if she were being falsely accused. Sure enough, a few minutes later she confessed. I gave her a time out, and withdrew one of her privledges for this week. She was sobbing, of course, but when I asked her later if she was sorry about Zoe, or sorry she got a punishment, she was more sorry about the punishment.
Apparently, young children do have a pretty concrete sense of morality (i.e. it's mostly about reward and punishment at this stage), but I was surprised that Girl-O didn't have more empathy for the cat. Afterall, she complains vociferously when she herself is pushed or kicked at school. So, is that age-appropriate, or what?