muse_shuffle | October Disc Two
Track 02. I love you anyhow // And I don’t care // If you don’t want me // I’m yours right now
(Screamin' Jay Hawkins - ‘I Put a Spell on You’)
Co-written with sexyinscrubs | Follows THIS and THIS
Room 301, 302, 303, 304… 305. Aiden looked up at the numbers above the door of the hospital room. It was a real trendy facility, not that he had much to compare it with. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been anywhere near a hospital. It had been years, so he could only assume it was trendy. It was also where half of Luke’s new pod worked, Pat included. He wondered what it must be like for Pat to find himself a patient in his own workplace, but it’s not like the poor guy had a choice.
The nurse at the reception pointed Aiden in the direction of Pat’s room, 305, in the west wing Medical Ward. He realised his stomach was flipping with nerves and was more than convinced Pat was going to tell him to piss off. Still, with his balls firmly gripped in his hand (proverbially, of course), he knocked softly on the glass door of Pat’s room and took a tentative step inside. One arm was nestled around a large bunch of flowers which hopefully conveyed his apologies for coming on too strong as well as the standard ‘feel better’ wishes. The other man still had a sickly pallor to him and looked weak and tired in the hospital bed. There was a drip in his arm and the room was dimmed from the sun outside with the vertical drapes drawn almost all the way. Bouquets of flowers already dotted the room, indicating to Aiden his original suspicions that Pat was popular, despite the self-esteem issues. It didn’t seem to make sense.
“So, I was, uh, in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop in to see if you were up for visitors,” Aiden said with a small smile.
The looked that flicked across Pat’s features was a mix of surprise and confusion, but settled into a faint, weak smile. “That really good car need a bit of exercise, did it, darling?” he asked, the words coming out a little scratchy. His throat was raw and painful from all the throwing up he’d done. It was easing a little now with the aid of the IV fluids and a regular dose of anti-puking drugs, but he still felt like crap. Apparently there was a virulent gastro bug going around Princeton and he’d since learned from Tara’s parents who’d come to visit him that Lachlan had it to the point he’d slept away almost three days and Tara had been bonding with the Porcelain Goddess all morning, too. Then Evie dropped by and told him Riley had gone down with the ship the evening before. Unfortunately for Pat, if he caught any bugs or viruses, it could drag him and his system down in a crashing heap and he now had to content with some numbness in his legs, pins and needles in his hands and feet, and the necessity to talk slower than usual so he didn’t start slurring his words again. But seeing Aiden at the door of his hospital room was a surprise… a nice one, and that was something he didn’t want to have to think about because it would end up opening the proverbial can of worms.
Aiden smirked. “I lied. I don’t have a really good car. I have a fucking fantastic one. Any excuse needed to drive it,” he joked and held the flowers up before placing them on the nightstand next to one of the other bunches. “I thought they might cheer you up a bit, but I see others beat me to it.”
“My workmates,” Pat explained, glancing at the flowers. “They’re always quick off the mark. Thank you. They’re beautiful and they have cheered me up more than a bit. That long drive, you’re probably tired. Why don’t you take a wee seat for a bit?” He gestured to the seat beside him and uncurled the IV line from around his wrist.
It was an offer Aiden couldn’t refuse. Pat hadn’t thrown him out, so it was a start. “Probably a pointless question, but how are you feeling? The grapevine says you’ve had a bad time of it.”
Pat shrugged a little and when he blinked, it was slow and lethargic. “I’ve been better. I’ve been worse, too…” He wet his dry lips and rested his head against the pillow so he could watch Aiden’s face. “I’m sorry again about yesterday, darling. If it’s any consolation, you’re the only guy who’s asked me out that I’ve ever thrown up on,” he offered with a small smirk.
“Well, in that case, I feel very honoured,” Aiden laughed. “And no apology necessary. I’m just glad to see you’re in good hands here. It’s not like I’m invincible. I’ve had my fair share of stomach bugs in my time. The pleasure of being human.”
Pat smiled faintly and pushed his hair off his face. “Then I have to apologise for turning you down like I did. I was thrown off by the offer and I never meant for it to sound like I wasn’t interested. Of course I would’ve loved a drink with you, but…” His eyes dropped to the IV line, knowing the crook of his elbow and forearm were already dotted with small scars from the IVs from his last hospital stay which had been just a couple of weeks prior. “But I’m not really in the right place for a relationship right now.”
Aiden frowned a little as he listened. “Will you ever be?” he asked, really having no clue what Pat was hedging around.
Pat looked away to stare at the blanket TV screen mounted on the wall at the end of the bed. When he looked back, any humour that had been there from their light banter was gone and replaced with a troubled crease in his brow. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was high maintenance, and it goes beyond that. Things aren’t what they seem on the face of it, and they’re never going to be.” He paused, biting down on his lower lip as he gave a small, resolute shake of his head. “I have MS. I was diagnosed a year ago after I suffered a brain haemorrhage and I’ve been in an out of hospital ever since… I’ve been in and out of a wheelchair ever since,” he added blankly.
Of all the scenarios Aiden had ran through his mind in the last couple of days about the ‘something’ of Pat’s, he could never have even come close to contemplating something like this. In fact, Pat being sick or hurt wasn’t something that crossed his mind. But this? There were no words to draw on at first, and he just stared in shock.
Pat averted his eyes again. “So, you can just walk away, no obligations, and I won’t hold a single thing against you. But I was flattered at your offer. If this was a halfway normal situation, I’d have definitely accepted.”
Aiden blinked out of the haze at Pat’s words. “Why would I walk away?” he finally asked.
“Because I can’t offer you anything but burden,” Pat said roughly, choking up. “When things are good, they’re fine, but when they’re bad… they’re the worst. You live in New York. A lot of the time I can’t even drive a car. Dating would be near impossible. You don’t need this. I’m doing you a favour, okay! Take it. I’m not getting into anything only to have someone walk away from me when they realise just how hard it is.”
Aiden wouldn’t be human if he wasn’t turning over the enormity of what Pat was saying in his head. He didn’t profess to be an expert on MS but he did know some from when he’d promoted a few charity drives to raise money for MS research. He hesitantly put his hand over the top of Pat’s. “You need to be able to let someone in to try, Pat. How is anyone going to be able to understand and accept it to take you as you are if you don’t open the door to let them in?” he asked softly.
Pat looked down at Aiden’s hand over his and then met the other man’s eyes pleadingly. “Why are you doing this?” he asked tearfully. “You don’t… you can’t…” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. It felt like it had been so long since dating or looking for love had crossed his mind. He couldn’t accept that someone would be willing to just set aside the big gaping blight on his life that was trying to live with a debilitating disease, let alone someone that didn’t even know him. But wanted to know him? That was the part he just couldn’t understand.
“Just one date, Pat,” Aiden insisted, taking some tissues and pressing them into Patrick’s palm. “Will you at least let me take on you on one date? I won’t pressure you and if you want to just walk away after that, you can and I won’t bother you again. But please just give this a chance. That’s all I’m asking. Give me a chance to understand. I know we don’t know each other and I’m a total stranger, but how is that going to change without even somewhere to start?”
The tissues were a welcome relief and Pat put them up to catch any tears before they fell. The whole situation had just thrown him off and feeling sick didn’t help him find the capacity to deal with this. No one was supposed to be interested. No one was supposed to want to bother. “Why are you even here? You’ve seen me twice and one of those I hurled on you.”
“It was enough to know I want to see you more,” Aiden said simply. “MS or not. I don’t know what else to say to help convince you of any of this, Pat. I can’t make you agree to go on a date with me. All I have is my word that from what I’ve seen and heard so far - all of it - it’s enough to know that I’m interested in you. What’s more, I’m usually too busy working to notice many guys, but you caught my eye. Boy did you catch my eye…”
Pat listened, his tired eyes never leaving Aiden’s face. “What happens if this date is not what you anticipate?” he asked.
“Easy. I’m not anticipating anything. I just want to get to know you. Not by word of your friends and family, not by trying to read between the lines while you’re belting out another Aretha number. You, from you.” Aiden paused and pressed his lips together as he contemplated Pat. Then he smiled and held his hand up. “What you told me didn’t scare me away and it didn’t stop me wanting to know more about you. It’s as plain and simple as that.”
“One date,” Pat murmured.
Aiden nodded. “One date, when you’re feeling better,” he clarified. “When do you think you might get out of here?”
Pat glanced out of the hospital room at the nurses’ station nearby. “Could be a few days. Depends if this bug has aggravated the MS,” he said. “Two, three days, probably at the very least.”
“Okay.” Aiden tapped his fingers softly against Pat’s. “Want me to come back for a visit tomorrow?”
“But you-” Pat started to protest but stopped. The offer was genuine. He could hear it in Aiden’s voice and see it in his intent blue eyes. He managed a small smile in return, nodding. “I’d really like that, darling.”
Word Count | 1,940
(Screamin' Jay Hawkins - ‘I Put a Spell on You’)
Co-written with sexyinscrubs | Follows THIS and THIS
Room 301, 302, 303, 304… 305. Aiden looked up at the numbers above the door of the hospital room. It was a real trendy facility, not that he had much to compare it with. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been anywhere near a hospital. It had been years, so he could only assume it was trendy. It was also where half of Luke’s new pod worked, Pat included. He wondered what it must be like for Pat to find himself a patient in his own workplace, but it’s not like the poor guy had a choice.
The nurse at the reception pointed Aiden in the direction of Pat’s room, 305, in the west wing Medical Ward. He realised his stomach was flipping with nerves and was more than convinced Pat was going to tell him to piss off. Still, with his balls firmly gripped in his hand (proverbially, of course), he knocked softly on the glass door of Pat’s room and took a tentative step inside. One arm was nestled around a large bunch of flowers which hopefully conveyed his apologies for coming on too strong as well as the standard ‘feel better’ wishes. The other man still had a sickly pallor to him and looked weak and tired in the hospital bed. There was a drip in his arm and the room was dimmed from the sun outside with the vertical drapes drawn almost all the way. Bouquets of flowers already dotted the room, indicating to Aiden his original suspicions that Pat was popular, despite the self-esteem issues. It didn’t seem to make sense.
“So, I was, uh, in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop in to see if you were up for visitors,” Aiden said with a small smile.
The looked that flicked across Pat’s features was a mix of surprise and confusion, but settled into a faint, weak smile. “That really good car need a bit of exercise, did it, darling?” he asked, the words coming out a little scratchy. His throat was raw and painful from all the throwing up he’d done. It was easing a little now with the aid of the IV fluids and a regular dose of anti-puking drugs, but he still felt like crap. Apparently there was a virulent gastro bug going around Princeton and he’d since learned from Tara’s parents who’d come to visit him that Lachlan had it to the point he’d slept away almost three days and Tara had been bonding with the Porcelain Goddess all morning, too. Then Evie dropped by and told him Riley had gone down with the ship the evening before. Unfortunately for Pat, if he caught any bugs or viruses, it could drag him and his system down in a crashing heap and he now had to content with some numbness in his legs, pins and needles in his hands and feet, and the necessity to talk slower than usual so he didn’t start slurring his words again. But seeing Aiden at the door of his hospital room was a surprise… a nice one, and that was something he didn’t want to have to think about because it would end up opening the proverbial can of worms.
Aiden smirked. “I lied. I don’t have a really good car. I have a fucking fantastic one. Any excuse needed to drive it,” he joked and held the flowers up before placing them on the nightstand next to one of the other bunches. “I thought they might cheer you up a bit, but I see others beat me to it.”
“My workmates,” Pat explained, glancing at the flowers. “They’re always quick off the mark. Thank you. They’re beautiful and they have cheered me up more than a bit. That long drive, you’re probably tired. Why don’t you take a wee seat for a bit?” He gestured to the seat beside him and uncurled the IV line from around his wrist.
It was an offer Aiden couldn’t refuse. Pat hadn’t thrown him out, so it was a start. “Probably a pointless question, but how are you feeling? The grapevine says you’ve had a bad time of it.”
Pat shrugged a little and when he blinked, it was slow and lethargic. “I’ve been better. I’ve been worse, too…” He wet his dry lips and rested his head against the pillow so he could watch Aiden’s face. “I’m sorry again about yesterday, darling. If it’s any consolation, you’re the only guy who’s asked me out that I’ve ever thrown up on,” he offered with a small smirk.
“Well, in that case, I feel very honoured,” Aiden laughed. “And no apology necessary. I’m just glad to see you’re in good hands here. It’s not like I’m invincible. I’ve had my fair share of stomach bugs in my time. The pleasure of being human.”
Pat smiled faintly and pushed his hair off his face. “Then I have to apologise for turning you down like I did. I was thrown off by the offer and I never meant for it to sound like I wasn’t interested. Of course I would’ve loved a drink with you, but…” His eyes dropped to the IV line, knowing the crook of his elbow and forearm were already dotted with small scars from the IVs from his last hospital stay which had been just a couple of weeks prior. “But I’m not really in the right place for a relationship right now.”
Aiden frowned a little as he listened. “Will you ever be?” he asked, really having no clue what Pat was hedging around.
Pat looked away to stare at the blanket TV screen mounted on the wall at the end of the bed. When he looked back, any humour that had been there from their light banter was gone and replaced with a troubled crease in his brow. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was high maintenance, and it goes beyond that. Things aren’t what they seem on the face of it, and they’re never going to be.” He paused, biting down on his lower lip as he gave a small, resolute shake of his head. “I have MS. I was diagnosed a year ago after I suffered a brain haemorrhage and I’ve been in an out of hospital ever since… I’ve been in and out of a wheelchair ever since,” he added blankly.
Of all the scenarios Aiden had ran through his mind in the last couple of days about the ‘something’ of Pat’s, he could never have even come close to contemplating something like this. In fact, Pat being sick or hurt wasn’t something that crossed his mind. But this? There were no words to draw on at first, and he just stared in shock.
Pat averted his eyes again. “So, you can just walk away, no obligations, and I won’t hold a single thing against you. But I was flattered at your offer. If this was a halfway normal situation, I’d have definitely accepted.”
Aiden blinked out of the haze at Pat’s words. “Why would I walk away?” he finally asked.
“Because I can’t offer you anything but burden,” Pat said roughly, choking up. “When things are good, they’re fine, but when they’re bad… they’re the worst. You live in New York. A lot of the time I can’t even drive a car. Dating would be near impossible. You don’t need this. I’m doing you a favour, okay! Take it. I’m not getting into anything only to have someone walk away from me when they realise just how hard it is.”
Aiden wouldn’t be human if he wasn’t turning over the enormity of what Pat was saying in his head. He didn’t profess to be an expert on MS but he did know some from when he’d promoted a few charity drives to raise money for MS research. He hesitantly put his hand over the top of Pat’s. “You need to be able to let someone in to try, Pat. How is anyone going to be able to understand and accept it to take you as you are if you don’t open the door to let them in?” he asked softly.
Pat looked down at Aiden’s hand over his and then met the other man’s eyes pleadingly. “Why are you doing this?” he asked tearfully. “You don’t… you can’t…” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. It felt like it had been so long since dating or looking for love had crossed his mind. He couldn’t accept that someone would be willing to just set aside the big gaping blight on his life that was trying to live with a debilitating disease, let alone someone that didn’t even know him. But wanted to know him? That was the part he just couldn’t understand.
“Just one date, Pat,” Aiden insisted, taking some tissues and pressing them into Patrick’s palm. “Will you at least let me take on you on one date? I won’t pressure you and if you want to just walk away after that, you can and I won’t bother you again. But please just give this a chance. That’s all I’m asking. Give me a chance to understand. I know we don’t know each other and I’m a total stranger, but how is that going to change without even somewhere to start?”
The tissues were a welcome relief and Pat put them up to catch any tears before they fell. The whole situation had just thrown him off and feeling sick didn’t help him find the capacity to deal with this. No one was supposed to be interested. No one was supposed to want to bother. “Why are you even here? You’ve seen me twice and one of those I hurled on you.”
“It was enough to know I want to see you more,” Aiden said simply. “MS or not. I don’t know what else to say to help convince you of any of this, Pat. I can’t make you agree to go on a date with me. All I have is my word that from what I’ve seen and heard so far - all of it - it’s enough to know that I’m interested in you. What’s more, I’m usually too busy working to notice many guys, but you caught my eye. Boy did you catch my eye…”
Pat listened, his tired eyes never leaving Aiden’s face. “What happens if this date is not what you anticipate?” he asked.
“Easy. I’m not anticipating anything. I just want to get to know you. Not by word of your friends and family, not by trying to read between the lines while you’re belting out another Aretha number. You, from you.” Aiden paused and pressed his lips together as he contemplated Pat. Then he smiled and held his hand up. “What you told me didn’t scare me away and it didn’t stop me wanting to know more about you. It’s as plain and simple as that.”
“One date,” Pat murmured.
Aiden nodded. “One date, when you’re feeling better,” he clarified. “When do you think you might get out of here?”
Pat glanced out of the hospital room at the nurses’ station nearby. “Could be a few days. Depends if this bug has aggravated the MS,” he said. “Two, three days, probably at the very least.”
“Okay.” Aiden tapped his fingers softly against Pat’s. “Want me to come back for a visit tomorrow?”
“But you-” Pat started to protest but stopped. The offer was genuine. He could hear it in Aiden’s voice and see it in his intent blue eyes. He managed a small smile in return, nodding. “I’d really like that, darling.”
Word Count | 1,940