Exercise 7
A Night at the Opera
They say April is the cruelest month. I have to disagree. April greets the world with all the debris that winter has managed to hide. But the snow-concealed flotsam is really just a freshly uncovered scab. The cuts, scrapes, and bruises were left long before in October. If April is cruel, it is the cruelty of a bandage pulled off too slowly. October pushes the world down a flight of stairs and then asks if it needs a band-aid as it moans and bleeds on the landing leading to the backdoor of the house.
But I’ve gotten ahead of myself. We must begin at the beginning and it began in a bar, as these things often do. But not just any bar; this was Our Bar. This was our table. Hell, this was even our chessboard; nobody else ever bothered to use it. Lillian Marie and I sat at the table setting out our pieces for one final game before bar close. We had spent the better portion of the night locked in epic battles of surprising ferocity. I’m a nerd, but a girl with a body like that just should not be able to play chess so well. But anyway, there we sat, my black pieces lined up in neat little rows against her white. A mug of Drowned Sailor Ale sat on my side of the table, a pint of Belladonna Port on hers. She moved a pawn. I made my move.
“Come home with me tonight?” I inched a pawn forward to meet hers.
“What, like come to your house?” She pushed a second pawn up next to the first.
“Well, yeah, that’s kind of what I was thinking.” I captured the new pawn with my own. “And maybe, ya know, sleep in my bed?”
“What, like cuddle?” She hopped a knight over the front lines to meet my pawn.
“Well, no, I was thinking, like, sex?” I pushed another pawn forward hopefully.
“You want to have sex? With me? Tonight?” She maddeningly loosed yet another pawn, goading me to capture it with my own. “Oh god, I don’t think I’ve ever even thought of you like that.”
“Well I think about you a lot.” I slid my pawn forward, leaving her rook firmly stranded where it sat. “I think about you pretty much all the time.”
She jumped our line of pawns midfield with her knight and cocked her head sideways, looking at me. “Look Jerome, I just don’t know. I mean, this is kind of sudden.”
I unleashed my own knight to meet hers on the diagonal. “You mean you couldn’t tell? The way I always buy you drinks? The hours I spend at your apartment? I don’t even make plans for the weekend without you.”
“I thought you were just being friendly. You’ve been doing it for so long now I guess I’m just used to it.” She captured my pawn with her knight. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”
“You’re not!” I barked, capturing her pawn with my own knight. “I mean, I just thought you would have known that this meant something more to me.”
She moved another pawn out wordlessly and I hopped my knight towards her front lines. She took my pawn with her bishop, leaving my knight hopelessly stranded. I took a sip of my beer.
“I guess…” I took her rook with my knight. “I guess I probably shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“No! No!” She moved her queen forward on the diagonal putting my king in check. “I’m just… just not sure I’m ready to think of you that way Jer.”
I moved my own queen in front of my king. “Will you ever be?”
She skipped her knight forward, putting my king in check again. I strafed the king left, avoiding my inevitable defeat. “I gotta be honest Lil, I want you so bad that sometimes it hurts just to look at you.”
She shook her head and captured a pawn across the board with her bishop, putting my king in check a third time. “I just don’t know.”
I captured her bishop with my king, leaving it vulnerable and exposed on the front line between two pawns. She jumped her knight backwards, putting me in check yet again. “I’m not ready for this. I don’t know what to say Jerome. Can’t we just be friends?”
“Oh god,” I moved my king back out of harms way. “I’m just so sick of being friends and wanting so much more. Why am I always so stupid?”
She took my queen with her knight. I captured her knight with my bishop. She advanced her queen on the diagonal, menacing another pawn. I pushed the pawn forward and took another sip of my beer.
“Can we talk about this some other time?” She moved her queen sideways, out of the reach of my bishop. I sighed and slid my rook out from behind a pawn. She captured a pawn, menacing my rook on the diagonal. “I don’t want to hurt our friendship.”
I took a pawn at the diagonal with my bishop, leaving my king exposed again. “You don’t want to hurt our friendship by fucking me, or you don’t want to hurt our friendship by turning me down? Because honestly I’d rather just take my chances at this point.”
She moved her own king behind a barricade of pawns. “What’s that supposed to mean? Having sex with me means more to you than our friendship?”
“That’s not what I…” I sighed and moved my rook next to my king, where it would have held her king in check just moments ago. “I just mean that if you think we might get hurt either way I’d at least like a shot at meaning something more to you.”
She brought her other knight into play, so I brought mine out as well. She moved her queen to menace my bishop. I moved it two spaces out of harms way. She captured the knight I had left stranded in her rear guard. “Oh god Jerome, I just don’t think I can do it. I mean, you’re a great guy and all, but…”
“But what?” I practically threw my bishop across the board at her front line, taking a pawn. She moved her queen forward and put me in check again. I moved my king forward, seeking safe haven. She threatened my bishop with her rook. I took her knight. “I’m sorry, I guess this just isn’t fair to you. You couldn’t have known.”
“Hurry up please. It’s time.” the bartender barked at us.
“I’m sorry Jerome. I really am.” She slid her queen sideways across the board, putting me in checkmate. “I need to go.”
She left without even finishing her beer.