I was told i don't update enough so heres the bomb. if you want the first entry it further down ok
Life is a never ending road of twists and turn and if you can stay on the road long enough you get to your destination.and depending on how you made it down that road is whether your where you want to be or where you deserve to be.Im going to just type whatever becuse im in the mood to so this is going to be a mix of stuff i make up as far as quotes go.and im going to talk about things that are happening now in my life or what i have done lately.so lets start with love a nonexistent thing that only pushes people to the brink and sometimes kicks over the line that separates us from the the endless loneliness that makes up are lives.most people are immune or at least oblivious to this line but its there anyway . you may have allot of folks you know and family who care for you but you are in essence alone any by yourself.when you walk when your sleeping your not doing it for anybody else but your self.when your not alone things change.life changes.its different.its not the norm.And because this feeling is in general good people surround themselves with people some go even further and try to make another part of there lives.to enjoy the sadness and happy times together as one person.so being alone isn't so bad as long as someone else you love is alone with you.Ha i contradict myself but thats what makes us human flawed and slaves to are wants and needs.Who am I you may ask im just a overly sexual guy born in the 80's who until the age of 21 was a virgin and tottaly unprepared for the world as it was then a born jahovahs witness not baptized.I lived with my mother father 2 brothers and half sister in good old PA.till i moved from are ghetto house in the subs of Philly.we went to Brandon where we rented a place that was still being built.noone lived there as in no other folks lived in the houses that were built around us.i went to school turned inward unable to cope with the move no love from my brothers and i was always scared to be in Florida.life goes on i get fat so fat they took me to a doctor for it.we moved to Tampa and it got better i was a little less alone made allot of friends got fatter.12 years old i was 240 pounds 5'4.I was teased and abused at school but retained the goodness that i was taught in the kingdom hall and all the teachings i received from there.time goes on im older a little taller but still as heavy.I found myself unable to talk to anybody because i was skipped a grade and left with people i didn't know my friends in another school.started hanging out with burnouts losers drunks and other sorts of wonderful people.I never did anything till much later in life but i still learned allot about life and drama and the dumb shit that infests peoples lives.I start to understand that my life be comparison was great and then i started losing the pounds.more time passes i meet a girl not by chance but by location never knowing real kindness or intamcy from another girl EVER i was instantly in love and was stuck on her like glue.found out the hard way that a relationship even one without sex takes work and understanding.Even knowing this i was still making mistakes and indulging in my joy that i never felt before it was better then anything i ever felt and if it went away i would just die.It was gone i didn't go away but i yearned for it more and when non came hate stated kicking the norm to the curb.i stated regretting ever feeling that way at all.and if i didn't feel that way again it didn't matter fuck it who cares.i was older now not fat but allot taller i started looking better.girls started liking me more because i was kind and i always listened to them all the time.i was always honest and i was supportive for no reason at all.after hearing all the things i herd from so many people it turned my around and i understood why i liked havening a girl to be with.because when you can't take life anymore there was at least one person who would make you understand that if life wasn't hard to live then we would all be dull bored and shitty people. :) In that i find that i can handle anything life throws at me.and it will always make me smile when i think about the good times i had because life is way to short to feel sad or bad when feeling happy is so much better.the hardest part about it is finding your way to be happy whatever it may be.and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else or anything else.Im sorry this is so long but its my journal and if i can't type here then whats the point.I love my friends and im happy for Angela i wish her all the happy days she can get.I hope Erica is happy and finds what she wants so she can live a day without any bad shit getting in the way.I hope Erin falls in love and the man shes with does the same so that she can make the world a little better for us all.I hope that Shanna has the courage to get over her obsession and finds out that life is allot more involving besides just one person.I hope that Kenny finds a girl willing to make his life better like he deserves.because hes a great guy kind and giving and he would make any good women happy and rich in love for the rest of there life.I hope lee finds himself a good women one that will tame his sometimes scattered emotions and make him understand you don't always have to be at the top of everything theres more then just thinking your the best unless you know what the best is.I hope that Mimi finishes school and finds a good guy to make her understand how pretty and smart she is and get her out of the sad feelings she has herself in even if it means moving the heavens to do it.I hope bob finds out that if you are good at something you should try and make it better and not try to do everything at once because if you sit and try everything nothing will ever get done and that includes everything.theres all my other friends whos lives are getting better.All i have to say is if you can forgive the spelling and long entry then I love you all and best wishes to the newlyweds. Later