(no subject)
I'm so tired of being stepped on... I'm tired of all of this... I guess it's time to go back into my anti-social mode again... just like when I first moved here... I'm tired of it, seriously... fucking shit man... someone tell my mom to watch me when I get my car back, cuz I can fucken guarantee you that I won't be going anywhere near the speed limit... seriously man... why can bad people who sin so greatly have such great lives... yet me, who tries to be a good person... & not sin & be a good follower of God, gets so much bullshit in his life... I'm so fucken tired of it... the sad thing is that I can feel a fucken depression coming on... I probably fucken need counseling... I have been thinking about going to some kinda counseling or a shrink or something, but oh yea, both me & my family are fucken poor... so yea, that's out of the question... oh great, depression again means that I am gonna start leaning toward joining the military again to run away from everything. I will be honest with you, when I was alone in the valley in my hotel room... none of you know how good it fucken felt... to be away from everyone I knew, to be on my own, to be solitary, I'm fucken tired of depending on people... I'm fucken tired of searching for a girl & then think that I find someone, then get fucken get bullshit reasons from them & no explanation at all. I know I'm gonna regret saying this but I don't need my friends, I don't need my family, I don't need a significant other, or anything else at all... period. I guess it's time to see who my real friends are. Fuck the world, I'm out.