Gestalt
I had a well needed epiphany. I'm not sure what sparked it, perhaps the shattering of my subjectivity (sorry for the shamelessly pendantic inside joke), perhaps not. For far too long I've devoted my anxieties to things beyond the boundaries of my control. "Why can't my ex and I have a friendship?" Or, Why can't a like a guy who seems such an ideal match and genuinely wants to be my partner? The basis for this has always been "What am I doing wrong?" It strikes me now that there's nothing wrong with me, except that I've been reflection on the wrong questions. The proper question should be "Why do I care to be the friend of someone for whom I have to struggle?" and "Why should I fight to feel an affection that I cannot?"
As I raise my gaze to a new horizon, I realize that, in many ways, I'm in a fantastic position. I'm healthy, happy, I have friends who care for me, and I've never had a shortage of interested fellows. I'm not losing anymore sleep over things I can't affect. Here's for my performative statement.
That reminds me: I owe someone a call who would certainly want to "still be friends".
As I raise my gaze to a new horizon, I realize that, in many ways, I'm in a fantastic position. I'm healthy, happy, I have friends who care for me, and I've never had a shortage of interested fellows. I'm not losing anymore sleep over things I can't affect. Here's for my performative statement.
That reminds me: I owe someone a call who would certainly want to "still be friends".