Best story I have ever heard.
This sounds like something out of Coen Brothers movie. Where stuff just goes from bad to worse to worse to worse. Keep in mind that everything I am about to relate to you is all true and just happened a few days ago.
It involves a gentleman called Mr. Smith (name removed to protect his identity!) and a drug test.
Now Mr. Smith has a history of drug abuse and is currently using them recreationally so passing a drug test is not an easy task.
In preparation for the drug test Mr. Smith shaved all the hair off his whole body except for his left arm which he used all the hair detox products on so that if it was a hair test, they would have to take the hair from his arm which would come up clean. This would be a pass.
He also bought sterile (clean) urine from a smoke shop so that if the drug test was a pee test he could use that and, again, he would pass the test.
Mr. Smith, feeling incredibly confident that he would pass no matter what, blew a huge line of coke in the parking lot right before he went in to take his drug test. Now, amped to all hell, he entered the drug test facility only to find that the test was neither a hair or urine test....IT WAS A SALIVA TEST.
But wait, it gets better.
Being ridiculously high off coke, Mr. Smith thought that if he GARGLED with the sterile URINE he bought at the smoke shop it would sterilize his mouth and he would be able to pass the test. So that is exactly what he did. Went back to his car, put the real, clean urine in his mouth and gargled with it. He then went back inside to face the saliva test, which he failed.
So not only did he shave all his hair off his whole body and put real urine in his mouth to gargle with, Mr. Smith later learned that a saliva test only goes back 48 hours....so if he would not have done that line of coke in the parking lot he would have passed.
I could not make this up. If I ever write a movie. This scene will be in it.
It involves a gentleman called Mr. Smith (name removed to protect his identity!) and a drug test.
Now Mr. Smith has a history of drug abuse and is currently using them recreationally so passing a drug test is not an easy task.
In preparation for the drug test Mr. Smith shaved all the hair off his whole body except for his left arm which he used all the hair detox products on so that if it was a hair test, they would have to take the hair from his arm which would come up clean. This would be a pass.
He also bought sterile (clean) urine from a smoke shop so that if the drug test was a pee test he could use that and, again, he would pass the test.
Mr. Smith, feeling incredibly confident that he would pass no matter what, blew a huge line of coke in the parking lot right before he went in to take his drug test. Now, amped to all hell, he entered the drug test facility only to find that the test was neither a hair or urine test....IT WAS A SALIVA TEST.
But wait, it gets better.
Being ridiculously high off coke, Mr. Smith thought that if he GARGLED with the sterile URINE he bought at the smoke shop it would sterilize his mouth and he would be able to pass the test. So that is exactly what he did. Went back to his car, put the real, clean urine in his mouth and gargled with it. He then went back inside to face the saliva test, which he failed.
So not only did he shave all his hair off his whole body and put real urine in his mouth to gargle with, Mr. Smith later learned that a saliva test only goes back 48 hours....so if he would not have done that line of coke in the parking lot he would have passed.
I could not make this up. If I ever write a movie. This scene will be in it.