(no subject)
i was wearing a big giant genuine smile today because in my hand was my very own brand new copy of invader zim on dvd. i rarely have a reason to smile. i dont ever feel good enough to do so. but i just couldnt help it. i was.... happy. something materialistic made me happy. what a consumer whore i am. a happy consumer whore. but damn was i feeling good. i like feeling good. i wish i could feel good more often.
c'est la vie.
and i keep thinking about the things im going to be losing all at once. my car is going away forever thursday. im going away from all my friends. my friends are going away from me. im going so far away. just me. im going somewhere completely new and unfamiliar and there will be all new faces to learn. which is as good as it is bad. but everything is changing and everything i enjoy is going away or its me going away from it. it makes me sad. anxious. worried. im worried about my friend alyssa who joined the air force. but i made her promise she wouldnt get blown up and that i would see her again. but i forgot to mention "safe, unharmed, and all in one peice". i know she can handle herself but
im really tired. i need to shut up and sleep now.
c'est la vie.
and i keep thinking about the things im going to be losing all at once. my car is going away forever thursday. im going away from all my friends. my friends are going away from me. im going so far away. just me. im going somewhere completely new and unfamiliar and there will be all new faces to learn. which is as good as it is bad. but everything is changing and everything i enjoy is going away or its me going away from it. it makes me sad. anxious. worried. im worried about my friend alyssa who joined the air force. but i made her promise she wouldnt get blown up and that i would see her again. but i forgot to mention "safe, unharmed, and all in one peice". i know she can handle herself but
im really tired. i need to shut up and sleep now.