Why did I stay an extra 2 years?
I wonder when it will hit people that I most likely will never see them again. Some it might never hit, or some might be stressing about it. All the people that don't go out of their way to see me will be the last to notice I'm gone let alone learn that they will never see me again. A few people that used to care don't anymore so I know that it doesn't matter that I'll be gone and not coming back. There are some that are like "oh he's just going to Oregon for college, so he'll visit and crap on holidays and during the summer." Well I don't have a place to visit to because all family lives in either Oregon or Texas. So that greatly reduces the chances of me coming back. There's only one person who has consistently stayed in touch with me since I was 13 regardless of our situation. That's someone who really cares so I'm not worried about losing touch with them. They could go halfway cross the world and nothing would change. Others however used to keep in touch for a while, but as I got trapped in full time work and school, they tried less and less since I am just too busy. Completely understandable and I'm sorry to those people because I just have too much crap going on in my head and in my life. And some people I will never understand how they went from caring to not giving a fuck. They might say they still care, but actions right now show otherwise. Whatever they'll get what's coming to them so I don't care.There is only one person who wants me to stay here longer and says it whenever the subject comes up. Others don't care if I leave tomorrow or in 3 months. I keep all these close bonds in my heart that I have with people. But since I don't ever see them I guess its understandable why they don't reciprocate that. Just because I don't see you or don't talk to you much or at all, doesn't mean that you aren't an important person to me. Most of the people I don't talk to are the most important. It is just so sad knowing that one day someone will ask someone else "hey where's Kevin?" and they won't have a clue that I'm not even in the same state anymore. They will probably assume that if they go to Hollywood, that I would still be there. Some people when I confronted them and told them that I most likely won't see them again, didn't seem to have a care in the world about it. I guess I just hold more value in people than others do. This rant is getting excessive. Another time.