Thanksgiving
So it's five on a sunday and all I need to do in the world is work on some homework but I cannot because my microsoft office trial has jst expired. I have spent the last three hours attempting to trick my computer into thinking that it is not a trial version but I am not nearly as smart as this machine.
Also this, I have gone a little insane. Normaly I fake but now I am really doing things that make me wonder where my mind is and who I am.
That aside thanksgiving was good, thank you for asking. I ate my meal, had seconds, had pies, then had thirds. I was mauled by children and I played cards with my family and Erin and Lara's boyfriend Paul. I also played battleship.
On Sunday of last week I flew out to Minneapolis to deal with my relationship with Erin in person. We decided to stay together and I got a job at Starbucks. We went to our favorite indian place and the man who owns the restaurant recognized me though I had not eaten there since mid-summer. I painted a picture of James K Polk and gave him sunglasses to try to punch up his image. Tuesday I saw the show my proffesor choreographed the fighting for and thought the show was shit but the choreography was good. Erin and I drove to Madison that night and then Lara and Paul drove us the rest of the way to New York.
On friday night I took Erin on a Springville date. We ate at Julie's and watched a movie at the Joyland theatre, the same theatre I made out with Marissa in five years earlier during Finding Nemo. That night we watched TV and cuddled and I felt guilty that my heart felt so far away. I did everything right. I handled everything well. I held her close, took her on dates, laughed, talked, hugged, kissed, and still my feelings remained aloof, even to me. I thought that I could approach this relationship the way that I approach acting. If you put on all the affectations of something than you can experience it. It's not working. Yet. I'm not giving up. I'll give it time, because if I've learned anything I've learned that feelings are fleeting and the a good nights sleep can change the world.
Boring.
To conclude: I still have lots of papers due, still have lots tasks undone, still have lots of plans unhatched, and am excited about them all. Except the papers. Fuck the papers.
Also this, I have gone a little insane. Normaly I fake but now I am really doing things that make me wonder where my mind is and who I am.
That aside thanksgiving was good, thank you for asking. I ate my meal, had seconds, had pies, then had thirds. I was mauled by children and I played cards with my family and Erin and Lara's boyfriend Paul. I also played battleship.
On Sunday of last week I flew out to Minneapolis to deal with my relationship with Erin in person. We decided to stay together and I got a job at Starbucks. We went to our favorite indian place and the man who owns the restaurant recognized me though I had not eaten there since mid-summer. I painted a picture of James K Polk and gave him sunglasses to try to punch up his image. Tuesday I saw the show my proffesor choreographed the fighting for and thought the show was shit but the choreography was good. Erin and I drove to Madison that night and then Lara and Paul drove us the rest of the way to New York.
On friday night I took Erin on a Springville date. We ate at Julie's and watched a movie at the Joyland theatre, the same theatre I made out with Marissa in five years earlier during Finding Nemo. That night we watched TV and cuddled and I felt guilty that my heart felt so far away. I did everything right. I handled everything well. I held her close, took her on dates, laughed, talked, hugged, kissed, and still my feelings remained aloof, even to me. I thought that I could approach this relationship the way that I approach acting. If you put on all the affectations of something than you can experience it. It's not working. Yet. I'm not giving up. I'll give it time, because if I've learned anything I've learned that feelings are fleeting and the a good nights sleep can change the world.
Boring.
To conclude: I still have lots of papers due, still have lots tasks undone, still have lots of plans unhatched, and am excited about them all. Except the papers. Fuck the papers.