The second, and most important, thing to remember is that under no circumstances should you attempt to eat, handle, or even look at your pie without letting it cool down first. For some it takes second-degree burns and a trip to Urgent Care to learn this lesson - you shouldn’t have to be one of them. If you can imagine a small portion of the Earth’
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Also, I wanted to say that your journal entries are hilarious. Dark and sarcastic, they caused me to laugh out loud (not an easy feat for the written word). So, thank you for making my day!
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2) Yes, it's a weird thing to ask in a blog comment.
3) No, your asking does not embarrass me.
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I feel awful when I eat them. I feel awful afterward too.
It's the taste.
ugh.
This journal entry amuses me to no end!
Thank you!
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Well, who am I to argue with a college graduate?
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Really, you should be thankful you can't get a hold of one.
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So. True.
When I was a child I would have knifed my brother for a chance to have a McDonald's pie, and I do remember that when I finally got my hands on an apple one (uh, without knifing anyone, FYI), it was a painful experience. And it didn't actually have any apple chunks in it, just apple-scented goo.
(Here via Serious Eats.)
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My favorite part was that although the filling was, as you put it, "just apple-scented goo," there was still only enough of it to fill the pie halfway, leaving a flaky pocket of steam above. So you'd end up feeling both scalded and a little ripped-off.
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Nothing makes you appreciate how good you had it eating Holiday Pie like one of these. It's essentially the same thing, only weeks old; room temperature; soggy all the way through; and filled with a runny, eggnog-flavored Boston cream.
Even as far as food you can buy at a gas station goes, it was bad.
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You're funny. And cute.
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