On the Relationally Challenged
Some time ago I was poking about the internet and stumbled across a post by someone who is apparently sixteen complaining that he1 was hurt when his girlfriend broke up with him.
Fine. While I raise an eyebrow at the idea of dating someone at sixteen, so be it. I never understood the impulse to date someone that young. It seems ridiculous to me but people have their own choices to make and when things go weird I have no problem with them posting a little something about it for others to read and give them advice and consolation.
But he did post something that did piss me off. Right after he said that she broke up with him, he made this comment:
Usually this wouldn't be a big deal... I've never been hurt by it before...
I have little knowledge of what dating means for this kid but I am guessing that emotional attachment was not part of the process until now. How can you date someone and not be hurt if it falls apart? Am I completely misunderstanding what he meant by dating? What annoys me the most is that he is trying to figure out why he is suddenly hurt but has not realized that he has probably hurt other people by doing the exact same thing.
When I asked why it hurt, when it shouldn't one of my friends said I was in love...
Truthfully, it should hurt. If he does not expect pain and suffering during the aftermath of a relationship how can he respect the devastation that can result from breaking up? How many hells has this kid created for other people?
The advice from his friends tells him it was love. They were wrong. Love is not a term for describing the results of being dumped. The pain and suffering is called Grief. Grief is probably something this kid has dished out on others time and time again without realizing that it hurts to be left.
He then gets predictably melodramatic and wonders if he is doomed to be alone all his life and complains that love is painful and supposes he is "cursed to forever love her".
Granted, sixteen-year-olds are a little short sighted and generally melodramatic in nature, but what an asshole. He deserves his broken heart.
1: I am assuming he is male. I am also making all sorts of assumptions about this kid and really do not care. The points stand.
Fine. While I raise an eyebrow at the idea of dating someone at sixteen, so be it. I never understood the impulse to date someone that young. It seems ridiculous to me but people have their own choices to make and when things go weird I have no problem with them posting a little something about it for others to read and give them advice and consolation.
But he did post something that did piss me off. Right after he said that she broke up with him, he made this comment:
Usually this wouldn't be a big deal... I've never been hurt by it before...
I have little knowledge of what dating means for this kid but I am guessing that emotional attachment was not part of the process until now. How can you date someone and not be hurt if it falls apart? Am I completely misunderstanding what he meant by dating? What annoys me the most is that he is trying to figure out why he is suddenly hurt but has not realized that he has probably hurt other people by doing the exact same thing.
When I asked why it hurt, when it shouldn't one of my friends said I was in love...
Truthfully, it should hurt. If he does not expect pain and suffering during the aftermath of a relationship how can he respect the devastation that can result from breaking up? How many hells has this kid created for other people?
The advice from his friends tells him it was love. They were wrong. Love is not a term for describing the results of being dumped. The pain and suffering is called Grief. Grief is probably something this kid has dished out on others time and time again without realizing that it hurts to be left.
He then gets predictably melodramatic and wonders if he is doomed to be alone all his life and complains that love is painful and supposes he is "cursed to forever love her".
Granted, sixteen-year-olds are a little short sighted and generally melodramatic in nature, but what an asshole. He deserves his broken heart.
1: I am assuming he is male. I am also making all sorts of assumptions about this kid and really do not care. The points stand.