A New Play: A Grocery Tanner
(The scene begins at a grocery store. CHELSEY, 19, is a cashier behind the counter. FIRST CUSTOMER needs help taking something to his car. Her next customer ASSHOLE, 40-something, is waiting in line conversing with FIRST CUSTOMER. Chelsey walks upstage facing full back, speaks to CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKER for five seconds, pantomiming a conversation, and comes back to her register to nod to her FIRST CUSTOMER.)
[FIRST CUSTOMER exits]
CHELSEY: Hi, how are you today?
ASSHOLE: I'm good, how are you?
CHELSEY: I'm great, thanks. [desperately making conversation] Wow! You're really tan! Dude, how do you get so tan?
ASSHOLE: Oh, I work outside.
CHELSEY: Oh, that's cool, I wish I worked outside. Look at me, I'm, like, translucent...
ASSHOLE: [chuckles] Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mentioned it, I noticed your REALLY white legs when you walked away.
CHELSEY: [taken aback, eyes bulge] WOW. Thanks.
[blackout]
(Two hours later CHELSEY is rummaging through a beauty aisle in the same grocery store.)
CHELSEY: [stops and grabs a dark bottle] Aha! There it is! Tanning oil. [Mocking ASSHOLE] "You're legs are sooooooo white... I'm sooooo tan... Wow, is your body floating in the air, I can see right through you legs... Hahaha--FUCK YOU.
[end scene]
[FIRST CUSTOMER exits]
CHELSEY: Hi, how are you today?
ASSHOLE: I'm good, how are you?
CHELSEY: I'm great, thanks. [desperately making conversation] Wow! You're really tan! Dude, how do you get so tan?
ASSHOLE: Oh, I work outside.
CHELSEY: Oh, that's cool, I wish I worked outside. Look at me, I'm, like, translucent...
ASSHOLE: [chuckles] Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mentioned it, I noticed your REALLY white legs when you walked away.
CHELSEY: [taken aback, eyes bulge] WOW. Thanks.
[blackout]
(Two hours later CHELSEY is rummaging through a beauty aisle in the same grocery store.)
CHELSEY: [stops and grabs a dark bottle] Aha! There it is! Tanning oil. [Mocking ASSHOLE] "You're legs are sooooooo white... I'm sooooo tan... Wow, is your body floating in the air, I can see right through you legs... Hahaha--FUCK YOU.
[end scene]