(no subject)
So I'm screaming out to the heavens even though I won't get my prayers answered. All alone and scared, cold and lonely and I'm not even talking about myself. Life starting at 35..is it even a life at all anymore. Can somebody recover from a blow that low. You think he'll kill himself mom? You think he'll die in there...you think it's for the better, he'll find himself, find god, find anybody but not the old self. Please not the old self. So waiting for the world to come around again WILL fucking kill me, living a life so great compared to so many others, not even being able to enjoy cause all you feel is fucking guilt for the smiles you make. Knowing he's scared...he did this though, to himself..I'm still not coldblooded, I still love, but he fucked up, why should I suffer?? God I hate this...who ever the fuck you are..I hate this. I'm dying so much inside.