(no subject)
It's cold out and I think it's raining but I'm too fucked up to notice, I just stole a car and drove and drove leaving it to be picked up in a parking lot..seeing my life disolve infront of me the years I've spent in a stupor of addictions and crimes swimming in me. Regretting I couldn't be there for my mom or my family still resides in me. I'm sitting on cold ground in a place I don't know, no where to call home. Shards of glass laying all around me trying to find the toughest and sharpest one...My regrets are haunting me and I don't need to dream to have nightmares cause they surround me every waking moment. The blood starts to trickle but easily pours out..thinking of mom and her smile, thinking of mom and her tears. The blood hits the ground and I swear it's not worthy of anything..my body becoming colder and colder. I see faces all around me in this weakend state..I try and try but death won't come..where's that last breath, that last cry I want, the last flash of light before I go. I'm still here, I can't die even if I try and I finally know that even if I want to, to end all this pain to go away and escape, it won't let me...I'm a failure in life and even in death I can't succeed.