RIP

[mrdankelly]

Many of us with great big hearts automatically figure that suicide can only be inspired by mental illness, particularly when someone possessed of great talent and success snuffs him- or herself. This suggests to me, that the deceased spent their every waking moment experiencing reasonable joy and satisfaction before springing out of bed one morning

Comments

[ammitbeast]

I'm assuming this is in response to the suicide of David Foster Wallace? Similarly, I'm one of those who finds suicide unthinkable except in the case of terminal illness.

Tom was a friend of mine who committed suicide when we were both in college. I'd known him since grade school, and he was one of the most talented artists I'd every known. He was painting and drawing right up to the end, and had been profoundly depressed for several years. He had a loving family and a beautiful, supportive girlfriend... so much to live for, yet he chose to end his life.

Tom had, however, expressed his despair to his family and friends. I'd lost touch, and I didn't know about his depression until I learned of his death. But his family and loved ones had, apparently, not taken his depression seriously, kept telling him to "get over it," and so on. They claimed they never realized he'd kill himself.

I've seen this pattern other times, too. A relative went through months of depression before trying to kill herself. No one close to her seemed to take her anxiety at face value, or worry that she might harm herself.

As with Tom, I wonder how DFW could have become so forlorn that the only answer seemed to be suicide. So much talent, such a colossal waste. But maybe talent and success aren't enough if those closest to you don't understand you. I can't speak for DFW's situation, but that did seem to be the situation for Tom. I think perhaps we don't have the full story on what was going on with DFW.

One final note... I've also seen several instances of people who wanted attention from their loved ones who made a half-hearted threat or attempt to kill themselves. What I've noticed is that if someone is truly depressed enough to kill themselves... they probably won't leave a slew of warnings or threats just before they make the attempt because they may not want the attention, nor do they want to be stopped. Those who leave enough warnings so that they can be stopped may not have been truly serious, but may simply have wanted someone to pay attention to their problems.